Sufferer Just really confused - CSA, Combat, MSA

[Freida]

Oh and check out the groups section. There's a closed one for military members --- c'mon over
:hug:

 

[ChildofGod]

Thank you, Brian. Much appreciated. I'm so happy you joined here. Thank you for your kindness.

 

[b.matt]

I'm assuming you are in the states? if so you can go to any VA or Vet Center and they offer treatment for this. Even if you had ptsd before you joined they will still treat you. Call the Vet crisis line to get set up... you don't have to be "in crisis" ...they are just good at connecting you with the right help. Way easier than trying to navigate the CF that is the VA on your own.

Don't worry or be embarrassed about being a guy with ptsd from MST -- there are many men coming forward for help these days. It's becoming more "acceptable" because while women get most of the spotlight the numbers for men are even more staggering. My thoughts on it are these asshats are the ones who broke me -- they can pay for fixing me :laugh:

Hi Freida,
I am pretty well connected with my VA (I work there) which actually makes it really complicated to have therapy there. I also know just about everyone in that department, because I do some volunteer work with the addiction recovery people, and that is my T & P's Dept.

My experiences with this have been pretty awful so far. In the Army, was kind of the same. I go to therapy, they ask me what's wrong, I tell them what's on my mind (that second, because it's always changing) and boom, off to the races. Lets treat that depression and get you in some classes to learn to deal with panic. Can't they see that I know how to deal with the panic? I'm a pro after 38 years. So they treat these symptoms, and it never lasts, and no one besides me seems to be concerned with the bigger picture. I just sort of feel like everyone there just has this one really rigid idea of what PTSD is, and if you don't fit that, the you get diagnosed with GAD, prescribed some Zoloft, and told which therapy your gonna do next.

Anyway, he only gives me one appointment every two weeks, and last month he canceled my appointment (no offer to see anyone else, just a weird phone call saying it was canceled), and I freaked out. The resulting call to the crisis line resulted in the referral to the Vet Center. Well, the therapist there did not seem to like me much, and I haven't called him back. I don't know that I feel comfortable anymore around men, maybe not even my husband...which is the worst because I love him so much.

I've recently been referred to an all male MST group, but it will only meet 6 times, and they don't even know when its going to start. I have 15 or 20 different options for Combat therapy, but mention that I feel ashamed of getting used as a sex doll for a night and its like dont ask dont tell is still in effect.

I'm really stuck here, but I have to do something because this T is just not helping. In fact by continuing to insist it is something other than PTSD, he's actually hindering my treatment.

Ugh, Sorry for whining, Freida. I appreciate your comments, and would be grateful for anything else you can think of or advise.

Later...
Just got off the phone with the counsellor at the Vet Center. He went through the DSM with me and explained about the idea of how my need to always be doing something is my way that I avoid thinking about trauma, and the key is that I am avoiding the emotions associated. When I run out of things to do, I cant stop myself from thinking about the feelings and memories and I crash. This is big for me, because it is actually the first time that I really feel like someone has been able to explain to my why they think I have PTSD.

I have a call out to my MHTC now at the VA, and I'm going to talk to her about my current T. There may be some options in the VA too, but if not, I do have private insurance.

Thank you, everyone, for pushing me to make the call. I will most certainly post how it goes. I will need to.
-Brian

 

[b.matt]

Thank you, Brian. Much appreciated. I'm so happy you joined here. Thank you for your kindness.

I couldn't have said it better. Ditto. This is an amazing place.
-Brian

 

[Freida]

Ugh, Sorry for whining, Freida.

No apologies needed -- it sounds like you've been thru the wringer. I've been really lucky with the VA I use, but I also know that's pretty rare these days.

Have you asked about the ptsd clinic? Some VAs on the west coast have them but I'm not sure if everyone does. Might be a start until you can get an mst counselor

When I run out of things to do, I cant stop myself from thinking about the feelings and memories and I crash. This is big for me, because it is actually the first time that I really feel like someone has been able to explain to my why they think I have PTSD.

Great minds think alike! This is how my ptsd manifested also -- always had to be doing something to keep my thoughts at bay...right up until the fibro took over and brought everything to a screetching halt and made me start dealing with it. It sucked lemme tell ya!

Very happy you followed up with them and I'm really glad the vet center got back with you--- Talk about timing!

 

[ChildofGod]

So how are you doing lately, Brian? I hope a bit better. zencat

 

[b.matt]

So how are you doing lately, Brian? I hope a bit better. zencat

Hi Zen.
It was nice to see your message here. This week is better? Its hard to say if I'm feeling better, or just avoiding feeling bad. One good thing this week is that had an appointment with my T, and it went better than it has in months.

I have a super busy weekend, but I hope to write about it.

Hey, thanks for checking in. That was pretty cool of you. Anyway, yeah, I'm safe. Just kind of running through my weekly cycle. ?

-Brian

 

[ChildofGod]

I'm glad you are doing okay. I'm happy to hear that with your therapist. thinking nice thoughts of/for you zencat