General Nice to others, rude to me

[caligirl03]

My combat PTSD vet recently started nursing school and is always (understandably) stressed out, exhausted, and can also be a little salty when he's around me. We hardly see each other lately, and when we do, it's not for long. However, I've noticed that whenever he's around other people, he seems to be much more outgoing and kind, even when he's stressed and tired. This bothers me for some reason. Not that I want him to be rude to anyone, but why can't he extend that same courtesy to me? Clearly he's capable, and it just makes me think he sees me as less deserving of his kindness for some reason. It sucks.

 

[Kubash16]

It’s not at all that you are less deserving. You need to first think hard what your boundaries are here and commit to sticking to them.

I (sufferer) find it so much easier to be nice and all to people I don’t give a sh*t about. I don’t have to see them again or if I do it’s not anything significant. Someone I’m close to though? It is so so so much harder to maintain that facade. It’s exhausting and we want to just be ourselves around the people we love instead of trying to be this fake person everyone expects.

 

[Freida]

I (sufferer) find it so much easier to be nice and all to people I don’t give a sh*t about. I don’t have to see them again or if I do it’s not anything significant. Someone I’m close to though? It is so so so much harder to maintain that facade. It’s exhausting and we want to just be ourselves around the people we love instead of trying to be this fake person everyone expects.

Brilliantly said @Kubash16 !!!

 

[Friday]

That’s just a human thing, to an extent. The same way you’ll be nice to the pizza delivery guy, but snappish with your boyfriend; or mind your manners & smile at work when sick, but cancel plans with the girls because you feel like crap, even if you feel better now than at work.

It’s just putting up a front. We do it with people we aren’t close to. So the delivery guy gets a smile and work gets a smile and home gets :mad:I hate being sick, this SUCKS, aaaaaaargh.

That said? I personally have a very low threshold for this kind of shit.

What crawled up your ass and died? Did I miss the Funeral or are we still contacting it’s next of kin?:meh: Is far more likely to be the question I ask someone than Had a rough day sweetie? Can I rub your feet? :inlove:

 

[2MarblesLost]

That’s just a human thing, to an extent. The same way you’ll be nice to the pizza delivery guy, but snappish with your boyfriend; or mind your manners & smile at work when sick, but cancel plans with the girls because you feel like crap, even if you feel better now than at work.

It’s just putting up a front. We do it with people we aren’t close to. So the delivery guy gets a smile and work gets a smile and home gets :mad:I hate being sick, this SUCKS, aaaaaaargh.

That said? I personally have a very low threshold for this kind of shit.

What crawled up your ass and died? Did I miss the Funeral or are we still contacting it’s next of kin?:meh: Is far more likely to be the question I ask someone than Had a rough day sweetie? Can I rub your feet? :inlove:

Am STILL laughing over your comments! Thank you I REALLY NEEDED that! That said, I think we need to have some more counsel available for folks to help understand each other. For both the sufferer and the supporter(s). It's like cooking without something in the pot, or running a car with no gas in it. You get NOWHERE!!