I have severe PTSD. I had a total breakdown in my 50s, which I've heard is not unusual. I was, and had been a workaholic, and when I had back surgery and was no longer able to work in my chosen profession, I had a breakdown at work. The new job I had was all about saving the hospital money, rather than saving lives. I made the mistake of saying that at a meeting, and I was bullied by my bosses, which triggered me and I eventually had a full blown breakdown. I had 12 or 13 hospitalizations in 2 years, 7 serious suicide attempts. I was seeing a therapist 2 to 3 times a week. None of my team expected me to make it through, but I did.
Now I am no longer high functioning. I don't have suicidal thoughts often , and when I do I know they are thoughts, not actions. I have agoraphobia, and I can control a lot of my symptoms, but I am still disabled. I have come a long, long way with therapy, mindfulness, workbooks,
@ms spock helping me, and many others on this board. I want to get better and be high functioning again, but I am so much better than I was even with all my symptoms now. I also take benzos, but I used to take them twice a day, and I stopped taking the mid-day one. The only withdraw symptoms I had was increased anxiety for awhile. That has gone away.
It's hard for me to say I'm so much more functional than I was, and be grateful, when I would rather be working and earning money and deriving self worth out of it. I have a small egg selling business that keeps me busy.
The way I get over the agoraphobia is to say, all you have to do is shower and dress. Then if you feel like it, you can get in the car. Then I say, all you have to do is sit in the car, and if you feel like it, you can start it. You get the idea. I'm going to use it tomorrow, since there is a group I've been longing to attend, and I really, really want to go. Baby steps.
Sorry for the rambling, I tend to go on and on.