Thanks for the post, and yes, i can relate to every single reply.
This may not work for everyone? But i live in a geographic location/culture where people would get a bit offended if you "needed your space". This happened specifically for me in the gym arena in a small town where i live. Certain patrons who had this problem, had one of two things happen:
They, would politely/constantly move? And of course, it was taken the wrong way - Even if you explained to the "locals" you "needed your space". The members would make a sport of it. Next came flat out harassment, then bullying, and of course, in time, a physical altercation, which ultimately? The "outsider" would get banned. It's historical.
(Management in many small town gyms like this believe it's easier to get rid of the "problem".
The answer? Count your losses, and go to another gym - which was still in the same geographic location, same mindset. And get ran out again, and again, and again. I lift extremely heavy, plus have an MMA gym already in my house. Buying MORE gym equipment was already out of the question due to my job, that sometimes required travel.
After running from 9 gyms throughout 2 towns), i realized i had to finally face my demons. I studied/researched, and found the only way to deal with this silliness was to expose myself to my "fear" until i could finally "get over it." A little at a time.
To let you know how how desperate i had become? The last gym i could only work out at was an hour away ONE WAY. I learned the hard way, this gym was notorious for bullying and over time, i learned that from the CEO (who lived a whole State away), administrators, took incredibly great lengths to ensure "problem members" were ran out at all costs.
5-6 days a week, i drove there, and worked out. The personal trainers, administrators, members, janitors worked as a unit. If a member got offended by the staff's actions, it got around really quickly who to target.
For me and others:
1) It started out, with walking up during my workouts/stretching and barely brushing against you.
2) Standing with their buddies/clients right in my space and having long, drawn out conversations. (and yes, high-five the ring-leader, afterwards)..
3) Next came standing < 1/2 a foot away in gangs and staring/criticizing/laughing loudly, during my workout.
4) Standing very close to my back and talking loudly, or throwing weights down near my feet, while i was resting or working out. (A few times, members who saw this would complain to management, and tell me later, but afterwards? I never saw them again)
5) Placing random workout equipment in my area if i had to take a bathroom break. (So i would have to move it, to get). This was met with peals of laughter..
6) Mocking. I have a certain walk, and certain "toe tapping" i did in between sets to focus. I learned over time, that if i was looking down at my toes to focus, one of the members would mock my toe-tapping. I would hear laughing - and when i looked up? He would immediately stop, and saunter off. When i did it again? He'd run back over to where i was, and repeatedly do this..
7) If i was doing a bench press? Members who were friends of the personal trainers would pretend to try to "squeeze" between my bench, and nearby equipment, nearly bumping my weight bar while in the air to cause and accident. (They would look over at the personal trainer-friend, and grin or high-five each other)..
This wasn't "all in my head".. I found out many members who had "problems with space" who complained to the manager, well, they left. I got tired of running.
I just learned over a long, period of time (about a year and 1/2) to stay exactly where i was, and not move.
If they stared, i learned to ignore them. (Sometimes, i would stare back at them, but that actually just gave them an excuse to become even more belligerent.)
If i smiled? They gave a fake smile back.. and continued staring..
So? I just stayed exactly where i was, did not budge, and mostly? Ignored them. It worked for me - in many ways. I became less afraid to work out in this location.
I stopped caring about them and focussed more on my workouts.
And over time? They realized their tactics stopped having any effect. No matter how many more members they recruited, or how long their conversations, training sessions lasted? I stood my ground until i was done.
It did build up a resistance, and gave me a much better understanding of the culture, as well as their own insecurities.
But it taught me a very valuable lesson. If i try to change the environment/people - they become more hostile. When i stood still, understood them, but kept my boundaries? It was easier for me, mentally - regardless of how they acted out.
I finally had to leave that gym, for financial reasons. My insurance company finally came through, and i can work out closer to home for free.
Same culture, same mentality? But this time, i have a different perspective.
