Risk-Taking, Success and Increased Resilience

[TruthSeeker]

I was wondering if those of you who have been working on your PTSD challenges, see a positive correlation between positive risk-taking and developing resilience? For example, one goal I have had is to travel more (and not be dissociated, or shut down when problems arise and I'm not at home)...you know, coping when things just don't go smoothly.

My goal was to be able to travel all over (first, just out of my house). ...First, I'd get out and camp in my car at state parks where there was electricity, a bathroom, and it was relatively safe in a locked car. That worked out okay.....and I felt safe in my car. Then by plane (first w a friend), and then on a ship (w a friend). The second year, I flew alone.....and although I almost didn't make a connecting flight due to the airlines, and the second time, I got a full body search for a Kleenex in my pocket (What a goober I was)...... I was still successful. So, each time I try something new....it has been confidence building-even if there is a glitch and things don't go as planned. I think this has helped me develop better resilience.

So now, I booked a trip to another continent.......for next Sept (lots of time to get used and prepare for this bold move). So I'd like to hear how you step out of your comfort zone (mine is my house that feels safe) and....taking risk(s).....to help you become more comfortable.. being outside in the real world, and attaining your long-term and short-term goals. I think this has helped me develop better resilience.

 

[Darktiger1986]

How do you cope with your PTSD?

I forgot to mention that Kung Fu has made me very resilient in life!!!

 

[TruthSeeker]

How do you cope with your PTSD?

Car traveling in my RAV 4-
1. Be Over-Prepared & Start Small: Helps with problem solving and having comforts of home....VERY IMPORTANT-and is totally stress reducing because some problems don't become big ones if I am over-prepared. Having necessities and comforts (yep....even stuffed animal goes), knowing that if my car were to have problems and I was delayed, my camera were to die, or my phone were to die, I'd be able to communicate with someone and resolve said problems......I have recreation of my house in my car. I make a list and check things off as they get packed. This is how I started.
-When traveling in a car, I take "back-up stuff" and have back up plans....because I'm in a new, strange place.
-I assume my phone could crash....so I take 2 detailed maps (one with all the states), and my IPAD....I take my computer for my photo-so I can look at my work when I'm done.
-I make campground reservations ahead of time and plan the locations, and always have my GPS and phone map app.
-I make sure everything is working and has back-up power, extra batteries, a laptop, my IPAD, and phone, an extension cord for recharging at the campground, and duplicate charging cords, and a multiple charger.....packed in car before traveling.
-I do as much ahead of time as possible (I fold down the seats, & the bed in the car is already made, blankets and all so when I'm tired, -I just get in the back and snooze).
-I take extra everything (extra credit card, extra ID (passport card), my password book (a spare), (everything I duplicate)-and put the necessities (things I have to have for survival (money, credit, pills) in 2 separate locations (so if one gets lost, I have the other)-like meds
-Food-I have extra food too......& keep some in my purse. I carry extra cash when I can, and keep it in the car.

2. Dealing with problems at campgrounds and PTSD: The worst problem I ever had at a campground was having to go to the bathroom like NOW, and not being dressed appropriately (it was 90 degrees, so I stripped down to losing the underwear) I had some super skimpy shorts. Lesson: Now, I make sure my butt is covered, and I can get out of the car w/o hassle and park near the bathroom. I was having a "PTSD moment" with this issue cause it was an emergency.....but it was either pee in my car...yeah no, or get to the bathroom. I climbed into the front seat, drove to the bathroom, parked next to the building......and ran into the bathroom.....mortified, hoping nobody saw my butt cheeks hanging out.

3. My Travel Procedures: Taking Care of Me No Matter Where I Am:
1. When I'm tired during the day, and there are evening plans, I stop and take an hour nap as soon as feasible. I have to listen to my body when it needs rest, and I always do traveling....and when traveling with someone else-they are forewarned.....this keeps me from being grumpy and helps keep me grounded....
2. Travel with a person you know, respect, and who understands you have to shut down.
3. I keep the same routine upon awakening, and before going to bed (I climb in my bed, charge my stuff, I do my internet, and play games to unwind at the end of the day-then I read-review my schedule for the next day, so my brain doesn't get stuck on the next day and keep me awake.....no caffeine after 6-magnesium citrate 500 mg.
4. I plan what I'll wear (put it out), pack all my stuff up for the next day and put it in front of the door if I'm in a motel or on a ship (or in the car-ready to go)
5. My hypervigilence is reduced overall when traveling, because no one knows where I am (or I think so)........and because I am in control of everything-where I stay, when I arrive, how long I stay, and what I will do. I plan where I'll sit in the airplane (I love the window seat-best place to see the clouds, and best place to sleep if you have long legs.
6. Fear of losing my ID, credit cards, phone, and Passport seem to be an anxiety producer. So, when I travel, I carry all that around my neck......hanging from a small wallet type thing, and that's the best thing as far as organization.....got bags in both hands? I am always prepared to pay, show airport ID, answer my phone, and it's hands free.

4. Shit will happen....getting patted down......a dissociative mess for about 15 minutes.....because when unexpected shit happens, I actively tell myself-I am safe, I was not abused, the lady was doing her job, this is a lesson to double check pockets before going thru scanner. And I breath a lot....and if I'm crying, I don't know anyone.....and will likely never see them again.

Ship Traveling:
They post your activities the next day, you plan your own excursions, eat whenever, eat a lot if you like, sleep whenever you want........lots to do on board....it is all within my control.

Handling Meltdowns:
I'll have them and just let it happen, and find a seat.....and get grounded. If I'm surprised or triggered.....then they are worse if I'm not prepared or don't have an immediate solution-or have no control in the situation (airport pat down). When I have them, usually now they don't last long.....and I tell myself "I'm safe, I can do this"-whatever it is... and then reflect later on the issue and lesson learned.....and if preventable....how to do it differently next time so I'm not a mess or I can prevent the situation. So, being over prepared, positive self talk during a difficult time, keeping routine while traveling, and having down time before bed to plan for next day and unwind, and keep some semblence of a routine with sleep.

 

[TruthSeeker]

All of my more current travels have been US/Canada. When I've traveled farther than that, jet lag has been a huge issue, and dissociation......cause nothing is familiar...

My issue with flying to Africa (a bucketlister) is that I won't have all the comforts of home, and the strategies I've used for the car, the ship, and land travels.....don't apply to this setting.. I'll be staying in a nice tent, on a cot.... have exactly 30kil for clothes in a soft duffle bag, and a separate bag for photography equipment. I usually pack my suitcase so it is at the 50lb limit. Yeah....that's not happening. Trying hard not to get caught up in projecting what could happen (disaster cause I didn't bring the right stuff), that's PTSD-but planning is so much less in my control......not being a goober with getting close to large animals is a priority for general safety. I have a date to talk to someone whose been and can help me simplify packing and photo equipt to take, but I need to practice not being so planned...and dealing with outcomes? The trip itself is planned, but each place is mighty different from my current reality. While that's an excitement for me, and photographing wildlife, a strong passioin.......not having control.....wow......is a fear....as I think about it.

 

[TruthSeeker]

I forgot to mention that Kung Fu has made me very resilient in life!!!

I'm going on a wildlife photo safari.......I don't think Kung Fu will work with elephants, hippos, and lions...but with the native people who are less than honorable,,,,,it could be practical.....LOL.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Two years ago, I started taking art lessons....and that was and still is, risk-taking, because I can't get shit done in art....that is worthy of holding up and showing a class, when they are all talking about their lives, murders, plane crashes, and stupid drama shit, past X's, and my attention becomes shit. The artist within me requires silence and remains highly frustrated, and eventually shuts down and destroys the clay in a big blob if too frustrated. I'm in a clay class now, and trying to stay grounded, and produce art, and learn new skills.....and there is one loud, gritty lady, who will come up in my space to see what I'm doing and I swear, I just want to tell her to go away-but she's really just trying to learn....and I'm the one with the internal issue. So, I took a risk....wanted to send the class a polite message after getting nothing done in clay last week except my design on paper...so I sat at a different table, and put on headphones.....listened to positive music (and I believe all of this is rude in a group.....but the instructor said it was fine...she saw me struggling and she encouraged it....knowing I needed to find my creative space) and I made a duckling-and I liked it...

Once that one was made....I made 2 more. duckling bodies, to finish today.......so, trying a different way, and certain music, got me to my goal.....and I didn't need the headphones to do the other 2 ducklings.....cause I'd figured it out. Two years ago, I would have walked out, gone home and gotten in bed......from the embarrassment of not being able to accomplish what I wanted.....while everyone else is sitting around fat, dumb and happy making stuff that looks great to me (Another goal....to work in an art group (one foot in reality and one foot in the creative part of my head- and accessing the art skills, and chat and be social all at once....yeah...tall order)-that's why I go to art class.....to do both. I'm so grateful they are a forgiving bunch....but I still wish I hadn't needed to isolate to get the first duck accomplished......but I came back (I tell myself) by making the other two without isolating, without music, and I did say a few words in conversation....Maybe 2 sentences. Oh hum.....this seems so trite when I say it...but it is a struggle.

 

[grit]

wow! I am quite impressed with your post @TruthSeeker!really impressed. and I can relate to you 100% with some major differences as well....

I have only been in therapy since 2017 but prior to that I (and still but to lesser scale) was a very world travel and not the type for the fainted heart...I am talking about alone in middle east (the hardest place for a lone woman), Africa, Caribbean, Asia and a lot in Europe and USA. and I hardly ever traveled with a friend...few times but mostly alone...just much easier for coordination and planning and picking my choice!

As I am typing this I am feeling, probably travelling alone for over 10yrs made me face a lot of my ptsd symptoms and heal them instantly as I did not have the luxury of being home and resisting the reality. I just felt this now.

One thing that maybe you did not note here is travel = people. One cannot travel without encountering people and facing trust issue face to face. This is my experience. I developed trust, faced my fear (extension of hypervigilence), realized my resilience in the face of insurmountable adversity like getting lost, getting sick, things being stolen, being betrayed by others and extreme loneliness and boredom that comes with travelling. I believe traveling extensively without even knowing (or at least not consciously involved with my PTSD) made me cure my attachment issues, restore my trust in humanity, and soften hatred, rage and completely obliterated my panic moods (I used to have and perhaps what you call here meltdowns).

I was similar to you as you noted at the beginning of my travellings that I would over focus material and comfort things until I learned all I needed was alertness and intuition more than a passport or money or anything really because all can be gone in a second so I will always end up with me alone...the worse case scenario so I travel now literally with a backpack and copy everything in email just in case and send that email to my sister so just in case, she can manage my material world like sending me money or new passport or have the govt negotiate for my release! things can happen.

I will note few things I remembered doing at the beginning. Now I am seasoned and also I travel less and with my husband so much different than my old days.
But this is what I did early consciously (probably to offset my ptsd and other developmental issues i had but was not aware of at the time).

1. I have guests to practice my own flexibility at home - just to flush out any control or perfectionism in me. So you did not put the toilet seat up, hmm I hate it but will not act on it....I did this a lot consciously. or have parties and notice how much the mess bothers me and note in my stomach and let it go. it helped me! (-;
2. Travel where people speak English. My first travels were USA and Europe. Fist time I was alone a country I do not speak the language I had swollen face from the panic I experienced but could not express. I had to go to pharmacy.
3. Dress modestly and no matter what weather, always have a shawl to cover my shoulders if needed. This has become my MO now. No brand names ever! Modest dressing no matter where I go in the world. at home I will have my ass droop in US and Europe (in metro and English is huge) but anywhere else in the world - modest. I focus on English because of probably hypervigilene - I can hear aggression in the language or over hear things for safety measurement.
4. Carry less and look less trousty whenever I could. No huge backpack or expensive camera or such.
5. This may be controversial for US or Canada women, but I had to be conscious of my sexuality and how that energy intersects with men. This does not mean if something happened to me it was my fault but if I do not know how I am acting, feeling about one man, or what energy I am sending, then I will have to assume he does not either. This way many times I get into dicey situation with men, I knew for a fact - it was an act of power and aggression and I kept my energy and feelings in check. No guilt no shame no I should or should not. I am that alert and this has also become my MO. I do not challenge my gut in this no matter if your name is santa clause. My main stand was always I rather be thought of a rude person, than keep myself in a situation I am not feeling super comfortable. probably this cure all automatic caring and people pleasing aspect of my ptsd.
6. I find from experience, I prefer to meet older people rather than younger people...I do not stop but I find more trust in older people, more stories, and generally better with my energy but I also become aware of the culture and realize anyone can turn opportunist given an opportunity in some countries so I stay semi alert to allow a relationship to develop. I also prefer to make friends with woman more than men...again just learned by traveling what I like.
7. I am super polite, super conscious and more assertive and direct than too polite and people pleasing - taht is why I do not buy anything being sold to me if I do not want no matter how strong that sale is -and try middle east...it is harsh sale - guilt inducing LOLOL nope.
8. Carry a translation book.

I am passionate about this and could go on but I will leave it as such and hope it makes sense.

I hope you have an amazing time.

 

[Ronin]

Im handling my home. Almost.

... I have the opposite challenge. Sitting it out. In the same place. Doing jack.

Ok, back to you.
... Did you plan for vaccinations and diseases? For one, rabies, malaria, dengue and other fevers, the like.

Dress, country dependent, and local mamas / valued by community married women usually loove helping out.
Time you travel, daylight better, using local guides, known visible roads, the like. Travel in group if you can.
Check out the payment customs of your going... bargaining, how much, is good manners, vs insult, vs debt nobody would want.

 

[grit]

I'm going on a wildlife photo safari.......I don't think Kung Fu will work with elephants, hippos, and lions...but with the native people who are less than honorable,,,,,it could be practical.....LOL.

I will rephrase that line of "the native people who are less than honorable" to some native people who might be....from my experience, prejudice, bias and all the deep feelings we have of other cultures is what comes out when we get there and it is hard to really see the reality. Some natives will be better than your own family and some just like anyone else, will be hostile and everything in between.

I always thought how do I cool my energy not how do I stay alert....too alertness is hyper for me and I do not notice things but we are all different. So if I go hyper on culture, i stop and ask.

 

[TruthSeeker]

I have till next fall to work out my PTSD quirks......worries, and it is a good thing I am going with 2 people from my photography club....
but on the way back from Tanzania, after almost 3 weeks in a tented room, I'd like to stop in Morocco.....and rest just one day, and then see the sights...and it will be there that I will be alone.....but they speak English! While originally I thought of traveling to Spain for a week, (I know a bit of Spanish and could practice my basic Spanish)....then I thought Egypt (yeah....no....single woman w PTSD...bad idea), Morocco probably is a better choice for the flight home.

Your post really made me smile.....actually I really can identify! And your suggestions....superb! Yeah, it's a photo safari...but will take 2 cameras....in case one gives up the ghost. My camera bag can be heavy......my clothes and personals....not so much because I'm traveling by small aircraft with much less room....and your suggestions about modest clothing.....a good one. As I think of things....I'll be in touch!

 

[grit]

I have till next fall to work out my PTSD quirks......worries, and it is a good thing I am going with 2 people from my photography club....
but on the way back from Tanzania, after almost 3 weeks in a tented room, I'd like to stop in Morocco.....and rest just one day, and then see the sights...and it will be there that I will be alone.....but they speak English! While originally I thought of traveling to Spain for a week, (I know a bit of Spanish and could practice my basic Spanish)....then I thought Egypt (yeah....no....single woman w PTSD...bad idea), Morocco probably is a better choice for the flight home.

Your post really made me smile.....actually I really can identify! And your suggestions....superb! Yeah, it's a photo safari...but will take 2 cameras....in case one gives up the ghost. My camera bag can be heavy......my clothes and personals....not so much because I'm traveling by small aircraft with much less room....and your suggestions about modest clothing.....a good one. As I think of things....I'll be in touch!

your post also really spiked my energy and made me so happy for you. I love traveling and I am heading to east africa myself during Christmas ...
I think you will have a blast in Tanzania and Morocco (I have not been there myself)...
I am just so happy for you...and wishing you great experience and rest and growth while you are there.

Ps. I forgot two things that I am adamant about even with my husband today:
No landing of a country at night unless we are picked up by the same hotel....like I will not take a taxi or bus in the night from the airport of a country I have not been before...NO. I think this one will stick with me for life. it is just too random for me.
Also when I am alone, I do not dwell around late nights - no night club, alcohol etc absolutely no drugs even if I am in US...to me I do not mind all those at home if I feel it, but just do not want to end up Midnight Express! LOL or trip or lose control or get screwed!

 

[TruthSeeker]

Im handling my home. Almost.

... I have the opposite challenge. Sitting it out. In the same place. Doing jack.

@Ronin What could you do to be less bored? Have people over for a potluck, or popcorn and a football game? Learn an instrument-(cheap ones can be found)? (I learned to play the alto recorder online-now people come to my house to play) start an online home business? Take a walk near your home? Video gaming.... Do artwork at home? Fix it up, redo furniture if needing......Is there an option to doing jack? Do you have a desire and motivation to live differently? You got dreams?