hi all, I'm new here. My best friend gave me the advice to look at this forum. I will share my story with you and hope you can give some advice. We are 30 years old and are together for almost 6 years.
My partner had had a really difficult past with both his parents. (physical and emotional abuse, never interested in him, he says they see him as a product of them). Last weekend i had a date with him, but his parents (the mother doesn't want to know me and the dad i saw a few times), kept him in the house where they where. When he sent me the text: "they don't let me go" i was furious. I snapped and sent him so many angry messages in what's app even more then normal. Even so hard that he came over in the end. We talked, had dinner and slept together. The next day there was some small talk through WhatsApp and the day after he blocked me everywhere, and when i got home, all his stuff was gone. He left he little note that he made a choice, that he doesn't want to argue anymore, thanked me for everything and the best wishes for my life, that he is only going to remember the beautiful things of me....
I can not imagine how it is too have a difficult youth and what is going on in his mind. My friend reached out to him in WhatsApp and a day after he responded that he doesn't want any contact with a person who talks so bad about him and his family (i really snapped cause it wasn't; the first time he let me down because of his parents). I didn't give him his space that night when he asked.... i wish i did. I feel horrible that is can't talk to him, that is can't apologize to him about the swearing
Extra information: since march we were moving into an apartment together, but he couldn't do it in the end. In July he moved out to the house of his parents (they live abroad) but since october his mom moved in with him. So he lives with his mom now, the person who gave him the hardest time. He went twice to EDMR therapy, but he quit, cause he doesn't think its working and the insurance doesn't cover the treatments. Anyway, he sometimes is really clear about having a problem and a not caring family. But on the other hand, i cannot say any bad word about these persons and he will always be loyal to them.
Since tuesday he blocked me everywhere. I am really desperate, i understand that a relationship with me might be too much for him, but i don't wanna loose him as a friend. I still wanna be there for him and i really want to apologize for the bad words i've said and not respecting his boundaries when he wanted to leave sunday night to go back home, but i asked him to stay. I am going to a psychologist tuesday, cause i barely sleep or get peace in my mind. All i want is to talk to him, even if i know that it will be after a month (if he needs this time), but i can't live with the idea that we were together for 6 years and it ended like this.
It would appreciate it if i can get some of your opinions. I have the feeling that not everybody in my environment gets it. And of course i am willing to give more information and give answers to questions about the situation.
Eva
My partner had had a really difficult past with both his parents. (physical and emotional abuse, never interested in him, he says they see him as a product of them). Last weekend i had a date with him, but his parents (the mother doesn't want to know me and the dad i saw a few times), kept him in the house where they where. When he sent me the text: "they don't let me go" i was furious. I snapped and sent him so many angry messages in what's app even more then normal. Even so hard that he came over in the end. We talked, had dinner and slept together. The next day there was some small talk through WhatsApp and the day after he blocked me everywhere, and when i got home, all his stuff was gone. He left he little note that he made a choice, that he doesn't want to argue anymore, thanked me for everything and the best wishes for my life, that he is only going to remember the beautiful things of me....
I can not imagine how it is too have a difficult youth and what is going on in his mind. My friend reached out to him in WhatsApp and a day after he responded that he doesn't want any contact with a person who talks so bad about him and his family (i really snapped cause it wasn't; the first time he let me down because of his parents). I didn't give him his space that night when he asked.... i wish i did. I feel horrible that is can't talk to him, that is can't apologize to him about the swearing
Extra information: since march we were moving into an apartment together, but he couldn't do it in the end. In July he moved out to the house of his parents (they live abroad) but since october his mom moved in with him. So he lives with his mom now, the person who gave him the hardest time. He went twice to EDMR therapy, but he quit, cause he doesn't think its working and the insurance doesn't cover the treatments. Anyway, he sometimes is really clear about having a problem and a not caring family. But on the other hand, i cannot say any bad word about these persons and he will always be loyal to them.
Since tuesday he blocked me everywhere. I am really desperate, i understand that a relationship with me might be too much for him, but i don't wanna loose him as a friend. I still wanna be there for him and i really want to apologize for the bad words i've said and not respecting his boundaries when he wanted to leave sunday night to go back home, but i asked him to stay. I am going to a psychologist tuesday, cause i barely sleep or get peace in my mind. All i want is to talk to him, even if i know that it will be after a month (if he needs this time), but i can't live with the idea that we were together for 6 years and it ended like this.
It would appreciate it if i can get some of your opinions. I have the feeling that not everybody in my environment gets it. And of course i am willing to give more information and give answers to questions about the situation.
Eva
