Car Exhaust Anxiety

[Upside Down Eagle]

Heya,

I might have mentioned this earlier, or maybe not.

For me car exhaust is a huge thing and something that often prevents me from going outside, even when I know I should be going outside.
The primary thing with car exhaust is it´s poison made by somebody else that then messes with your respiratory system and health. Same as cigarettes, really.

"poison made by somebody else" for me equates too much to other people´s violent transfer of emotional shit to the victim. You absorb their shitty energy and you can´t fight it. Car exhaust, you breathe in the poison whether you like it or not. You have to breathe after all. So even though it seems unrelated, it is related for me.

I know there´s invisible poison in the air as well (thank you Germany and all nearby factories), but it´s odorless so I don´t know it´s there (and easier to ignore). The car exhaust, on the other hand, stinks.

I´m really wondering how I can cope with this. A (filtration) mask seems to help. It does not get much sympathy from other people though.

It´s also kind of isolating because nobody else in society seems to give a F about it.
Any ideas on what I can do?

 

[Ronin]

Is this anxiety based or do you have other medical conditions causing breathing issues?

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

Just anxiety.
But objectively speaking it isn´t healthy and can cause actual damage. That doesn´t help with anxiety.

 

[Warrior Chicken]

I have a exhaust trigger that relates directly to one of my adventures....I have only been able to find a solution of hitting the recirculated air button and replacing the filter every 3 months.

Interested in any other work arounds cuz this one kicks my a$$ every time, and I turn into the aggressive driver that needs to get away from the ‘threat’. Worse if I happen to be the passenger and can’t get away....then it goes sideways quick.

 

[Ronin]

I go with percentages & probabilities and how *fast* will it f*ck me up tbqh. If it's not immediately lethal, neurotoxin, radioactive or such, not the same issue.

Couldn't live nor work some places if I minded every shitty environs as a crap health ruin. Crap to cruise, get it checked / monitor developments, more like. Breathing *right now*? Not a worry in the world, worries are for later.

And ditto to adventure ties.

Eta: Both of you mention trapped... may be a piece to start.
If trapped? Check all vitals *still solid*. Or if not solid? Not worsening faster than you can think.

Not trapped. Just hard times. Hard times you will get through.

... Or maybe that works only if people can compartmentalize body checks into brain / lungs / heart / kidneys / other / do I give a f*ck for this hurting f*cker?, already. Didn't realize when typing first what I do in emergencies re body spatial awareness ain't defaulty / people commonly perceive their body as one whole, not odd sum of parts that can or can't be willed to cooperate, on the best days.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I greatly struggle with a wide variety of smells and feel much the same as you do when I try to venture out. Car exhausts, tractor exhausts, and most especially diesel exhausts tear my sinuses and throat up and make me feel like I'm suffocating. Someone smoking in a vehicle near me can do the same thing. Wearing the masks feels even more suffocating, but is often necessary. Rolling my windows down help to make it feel like it escapes the immediate area a bit, although I know I'm still taking it in, regardless.

Fragrances seems to be the absolute worst for my health and anxiety, be it hygiene products, laundry detergent/fabric softeners/dryer sheets, candles, diffusers, air fresheners, cleaning products, etc. What most folks feel is simply being clean and practicing good hygiene can take me out, and there's no way to escape them in any indoor arena, and sometimes outdoors, too. Ironically, I used to be a heavy user of all of the above and then some up until a few years ago.

I get scary heart flutters (was hospitalized in Dec. of 2018 for atrial flutter/a-fib and am now on daily meds for it), severe headaches, my throat and nose feel like they're on fire for a couple days, have to shower as soon as I get home because I can strongly smell it in my hair on on my clothes and skin, and I can taste and smell that crap for a couple days afterward. The heart flutters can last a couple days, too.

I have masks that I carry everywhere with me and wear when I have to. Base Camp brand N95 particulate variety. They're a blessing and a curse as I hate the feeling of being suffocated, but have to choose to suffocate by chemical, or by mask.

I used to be worried about what others thought and would totally avoid most places rather than wear my masks, but then it hit me that not a single damn one of them give a f*ck about how their stuff bothers me, so why should I care how they feel about what I need to do to try to protect my health. Now I advocate and try to educate every chance I get when I'm up for venturing out.

One of my most memorable moments was in a bank. I was wearing mostly black, with a long black wool cape, black gloves, my black Clint Eastwood looking hat, and then put on a black face mask. LOL The tellers knew exactly why and that all was cool, but the folks at the drive through had some interesting looks when they pulled up.

I often share flyers from the Clean Indoor Act that explain the disabling effects of fragrances for folks who live with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity, then I had bookmarks made that say, "I'm not saying your fragrance of choice is too strong, but the canary was alive and well before you got here.", with some facts on the back about how they're disrupting their own (and everyone else around them) endocrine, respiratory, and nervous systems as they emit neurotoxins, etc. in the air and absorb them via their skin daily.

It's a real bitch trying to healthily navigate a toxic environment, be it mentally or physically, most especially when you're a canary in the coal mine of life. Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by Jiddu Krishnamurti, "It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

Thanks Tornadic for your thoughtful answer and Warrior Chicken, 1. Thanks for making me laugh (avatar picture) and 2. I´m glad I am not alone.

I guess you could reduce the anxiety/phobia (which it is in my case) to: being trapped, being forced to "take IN" other peoples impurity, and the idea that people in cities have been shown to live shorter because of it.

The being forced to take in impurity is the biggest one for me and this hearkens back to the feeling when I was a child and my mother in particular forced me to take in (and integrate) her negative energy and HER trauma.

Meaning that I could not defend my own "energy field" as it were, and I feel much the same with car/diesel exhaust, and most of the things Tornadic mentions. Then comes in the idea that those things are actually detrimental to us.

with some facts on the back about how they're disrupting their own (and everyone else around them) endocrine, respiratory, and nervous systems as they emit neurotoxins, etc. in the air and absorb them via their skin daily.

For me this means that other people are actively, physically harming me and don´t care. So there´s a parallel there between the indirect harm and trauma. But I don´t know how to make it so that it doesn´t bother me.

LOL The tellers knew exactly why and that all was cool, but the folks at the drive through had some interesting looks when they pulled up.

:P

I can relate. Most people are shocked when I walk around with my Respro mask.