been going on for 10 years finally wanting help

[galaxies-far-away]

hi y’all its galaxy

btw I just got out of a week long depressive episode along with flashbacks and i relapsed in self harm after being clean for 2-3 years.

I’ve been through csa at about 5-6 and lots of other f*cked up things through out my 20 years of life.

I’m finally deciding to seek help after going through all of this shit and depressive/ptsd episodes for 10 years or more

should I go to a psychologist/psychiatrist or a therapist first?

thanks for listening

 

[Rumors]

First, let me say please don't have any shame for the relapse. You do the best you can during the time you feel badly. Find a trauma therapist that has multiple modalities such as EMDR, SE, CBT, etc. Sometimes it takes more than one type of therapy approach to fit your need. Also, your needs change as you make your way through the journey. Last, no matter what it takes, don't give up. You are young and have the world ahead of you. I regret so much not getting started in therapy much younger. I am middle aged now and the journey is difficult. Lots of regrets, no way to go back, loads of lost time, and now I have some health issues from years of not taking care of myself. Don't be like me.... it can get better.

 

[galaxies-far-away]

First, let me say please don't have any shame for the relapse. You do the best you can during the time you feel badly. Find a trauma therapist that has multiple modalities such as EMDR, SE, CBT, etc. Sometimes it takes more than one type of therapy approach to fit your need. Also, your needs change as you make your way through the journey. Last, no matter what it takes, don't give up. You are young and have the world ahead of you. I regret so much not getting started in therapy much younger. I am middle aged now and the journey is difficult. Lots of regrets, no way to go back, loads of lost time, and now I have some health issues from years of not taking care of myself. Don't be like me.... it can get better.

thank you so much for responding! if you don’t mind me asking what was your experience when first starting therapy? im hella nervous yet looking foreword to getting better

 

[Rumors]

Ha! Well, please understand that I am awkward when it comes to therapy when you read this. I had kept secrets for SO LONG I was only there to try and find some quick release and a fast fix. I hadn't really come to terms with the global help that I really needed. I went for a couple years and didn't really ever get to the bottom of all of it but it gave me a safe place once a week even though I wasn't at the crux of the problem. I quit for a few years after my mom found out that I was going to therapy. I was in my 20's so its not like I was underage, but her opinion was so important I didn't want to disappoint her. Also, all she could do is tell me what a gifted life I had thus there wasn't anything for me to be in therapy about. When I look back on it I realize that she probably couldn't handle the possibility that I could confront her on family things that were ugly and she knew about. There were tons of things she didn't know about and clearly didn't want to know about.
So, I landed back in therapy after my mom died. And once again, I was there superficially. I went back to the same therapist. I am sure she thought "oh no, not again." And then finally, something clicked and I walked in and told her about the CSA, my family's history of alcohol abuse, physical abuse and I am guessing she almost fell out of her chair. Then, I recoiled a bit and struggled with the bones of the story but as well I did eek along doing some work here and there. She retired and bumped me to a partner where I have done the majority of my work, which still isn't done. I can tell you that it has been a lot of work. I almost wish that I had gone away in to an intensive program and worked that direction bc it has taken me a long time to get to where I am right now. I would tell you if you find the right therapist, embrace it and allow yourself the time and space to do the work. It does get better but it is a little bumpy before it gets better. Have a good support system and if you don't, consider group therapy. I am extremely private so my support system is my therapist. I feel badly for her bc I just can't talk to anyone else. Where I live if I entered into a program, went to a group, shared with friends, it would make its way around and people would talk a great deal about it. I have felt that I couldn't handle that. I don't care about my status, but more that the story line is discussed. Crazy I know but logic sometimes fails to reign at times. Get used to that fact and be compassionate with yourself as you go through the process. The journey is totally worth it...

 

[Taz 244]

hi y’all its galaxy

btw I just got out of a week long depressive episode along with flashbacks and i relapsed in self harm after being clean for 2-3 years.

I’ve been through csa at about 5-6 and lots of other f*cked up things through out my 20 years of life.

I’m finally deciding to seek help after going through all of this shit and depressive/ptsd episodes for 10 years or more

should I go to a psychologist/psychiatrist or a therapist first?

thanks for listening

I've had ptsd for nearly 40 years I didn't realise
I finally asked for help 2 years ago its hardest step but please take the leap of faith and good luck and best wishes for the future