Does this forum make things worse?

[AliciaEff]

This past year my PtSD symptoms have been well managed. Few and far between, and quite light. Lately they’ve been bad. A few weeks ago a was avoiding showering because it meant I didn’t have anything to actively distract me from intrusive thoughts and I would have to “bring” my abuser in the shower. A couple days ago I was being heavily tailgated by a transport and I somehow convinced myself that I had to find a way to break free and couldn’t let it catch up with me. I cried when I finally lost it.

My nightmares and bad/ abuser dreams have been getting worse, so I turned to this forum. I’ve read more about others’ bad dreams and I’ve written about my own, then I got more. Part of me feels like the forum is making things worse by immersing myself in stories of trauma and PTSD, but the other part of me knows that it’s most likely the other way around: it started to get worse so I came here and it’s just continuing that trend. I also know that I like control. Telling myself the forum makes things worse means that I have the control to get better and it’s as simple as not coming here so often.

 

[Ronin]

There's an article about this somewhere around here.

Titled Reading the forum increases symptoms.

Super common issue. ;)

 

[AliciaEff]

Thank you! I couldn’t find anything on it. I’ll look for that one.

 

[grit]

I would love to read that article too but could not find it.

You are quite introspective and that is great and I really hope you find some relief. I do not often read others trauma diaries as much as I read new postings. I find others trauma are too long and I would never know the full story and feel sort of voyeuristic to just read one post...even though now and then I do read a post or two but not enough to truly understand the person and yes you are right they can be quite triggering.

Personally, I find the site helped me normalize and relate what PTSD entails. it gives me a real feeling of what is PTSD. Even though I was diagnosed based on my history, I was not diagnosed based on overt symptoms and I came here to learn more about this and I am glad. However finding this site, IMHO, was actually better than what the doctor said in such that people are so different and everybody manifested so deeply complex that no one doc could ever come to that no matter how much research. So in essence, the education, the variety and the feelings expressed made me feel not so alone or weird so in that sense, I felt more relieved...there is a caveat. The more I come here and post, the more I sometimes see I may be avoiding something else though...so that is that too.

 

[Mach123]

Yes only because it did that to me for awhile. If I read anything about CSA I'd have a real episode, maybe for days . I'd delete my posts, block people, write the moderators and seriously consider deleting my account. I even wrote them a nice letter once and asked for my money back. They were very patient. I wouldn't log on I'd be afraid someone might have said something about a post of mine . You get the picture.

I feel better now thank goodness. : ). I think reading it is good and journaling in particular is very helpful. I hope you'll continue to try and I hope it ends up being helpful. Take breaks when you need to , I.did.

 

[Neverthesame]

Here it is. Reading Forum Increases Symptoms!

 

[somerandomguy]

This entire site is just one big exposure therapy session, which is why we don't use trigger warnings here anyway.

When I first started really participating here, I was on here practically 24 hours a day because I needed to know I wasn't alone. Now I feel very, very close to a bunch of folks here and would hang out with them if they happened to visit my town. I don't see how that can be a bad thing!

 

[grit]

Here it is. Reading Forum Increases Symptoms!

Thank you so much for posting! wow and from 2009! no less. thanks. It is quite helpful.

 

[Whirlwind]

Article pretty much nailed it.

I definitely need to take breaks at times, sometimes for months. The exposure concept in the article makes sense but at the same time as we heal I wonder if putting our energy into other things isn't also a sign of recovery. I remember telling my therapist I felt a bit guilty when I started skipping my support group.

She commented that if I hadn't "tapered off" over time she would have been a bit concerned. It is normal healthy to "move on" for the most part (not necessarily entirely).

She went on to say that in a sense staying too long - a person over identifies with the group/subject and actually sort of recycles their trauma via others experiences. She actually felt in some ways it can be counter productive and feeds into victim hood. Now this trauma discussion had a DV element which may be more inclined to her discussion, but I thought her perspective was interesting.

Best,

Whirlwind

 

[Freida]

Yep! Pushed me over the edge a couple times but it has helped way more than not sooooo.... It is amazing to have people who just get it.

 

[rightkindofme]

I've taken long breaks when I couldn't cope with extra stress. I come back when I am in a more stable place and I feel I have a little bit to give.