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My social anxiety is diminished with Social Isolation in place

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Starfish

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I find myself dreading the day that society goes back to normal. Not that I like the horrible impact on health and lives and economy, etc. of this pandemic. I have noticed I feel very comfortable knowing I don't have to interact with others. I usually feel so awkward and distant from others when I am around them, even though I really crave and enjoy being around others while playing games or doing an activity or project or any activity that I can feel I have something to offer in. It is the old feelings of unworthiness that crop up when I am around others and all we are doing is talking, the down time, the lull. That is when I feel like I have nothing to say that would be of interest to others. That is when I want to run away. That is when I feel that I stick out like a sore, despicable thumb.
 
I have been experiencing a tremendous relief from most of my symptoms of PTSD .

I think the social distancing thing is not that the social anxieties have lessened- just that there is an understanding that there is less pressure on mixing right now?


I’m aware my situation is probably some type of ‘fawning’ or crisis management trauma reaction. It’s still a great relief and a reminder that I don’t always have to live ‘symptomatically’ or with symptoms that impair my life . So I’m taking it with relief for now - if a little guilt too.
 
I find myself dreading the day that society goes back to normal.

I completely understand this! My anxiety has also lessened, although my depression is much worse.

It is the old feelings of unworthiness that crop up when I am around others

Yeah. This is hard.

That is when I feel like I have nothing to say that would be of interest to others. That is when I want to run away. That is when I feel that I stick out like a sore, despicable thumb.

I feel the same. I'm trying to take advantage of this time and do stuff I enjoy and not worry about returning to society. I'm also working some with my therapist on all the feelings I have around people.

Are you working with a therapist?
 
I find myself dreading the day that society goes back to normal.
I feel very comfortable knowing I don't have to interact with others

Yup! I feel like there's a huge weight off my shoulders and a bit more room in my stress cup, because I don't have to people for a while. I did have to take my mother for groceries this afternoon, and I was insulted that I had to leave the house :hilarious:

I have been experiencing a tremendous relief from most of my symptoms of PTSD
there is less pressure on mixing right now

Again, yup! I've even started posting on this site again, after withdrawing from life for 2-ish years. Suddenly, isolating is acceptable and encouraged/required (depending on where in the world you are), and not a thing of dysfunction, and my symptoms have decreased significantly. Except sleep <--- I have nowhere to be, but I still can't sleep :banghead:

All this hermiting is natural for me

LOL, I usually liken myself to a hobbit in my hobbit-hole. "Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.”
 
My PTSD scores on the VA PTSD app have gone down to green (normal) from high orange (moderate) in the two weeks I have been working from home and not going out. I feel the same way -- a little guilty, and also not at all looking forward to the return of "regular life." At the same time, I do have fears and depression about the virus, but my stress and anxiety in ordinary life is far worse.

I had a virtual session with my therapist (through the local rape crisis center) who said that she's heard this from multiple clients -- that they are feeling less anxious and a little guilty because the staying at home has been so relieving. I'm also not the only patient to fantasize about their assailant dying from COVID-19 and finding that thought soothing.
 
Are you working with a therapist?
whiteraven,yes, my therapist and I are meeting via computer.
this "avoidance of people" thing is so deep with so many tentacles. I am fully realizing, during this pandemic situation, that I do like human contact and I have always found my own special ways of interacting despite all my trust issues around others. I am not able to interact in the ways I felt safe, example, going to an exercise class and a bit of casual greeting and casual small talk after class or enjoying my grandkids and son and his wife. I have truly identified that I need to feel better about myself and learn not to be overwhelmed by my strong feelings of unworthiness. Easier said than done. The negative feelings I have about others are not about them but rather about me and how I feel about myself.
 
I find it’s a big relief as well. There’s this implied understanding that most people will respect my proximity bubble - in fact, I’ve even been apologized to by someone who came to close to me. Had another person ask permission to join me in the elevator.

I find I also enjoy having the time to plan simple tasks without racing in to get things done because I’m on time constraints. Something I have to keep in check though: I can over plan and then not get anything done if I get carried away with plans.
Whereas before, there wasn’t time to plan and I had to just get it done. Then my system would go haywire for days or weeks.

Anyways, thanks for this thread!
 
Social distancing was interpreted initially as stay home at all times.......translated to stay in bed.....sleep....till it's over. After a week of that, I realized this was going to be months, this strategy wasn't healthy. My joints were getting sore and my backside was spreading. So, now, I have two people I walk with, one on each side of the road, 6 days a week-one friend goes on . On the 7th day, that's my driving day to relax (and the rules do say people can drive in their car to relax) .....I take my own food and my camera and do photography and the outdoors and exercise is really helpful for mood, and keeping from ending up totally flabby. The rest of the time I'm struggling working online....but I got a schedule. Just don't feel productive enough. I also have a scheduled Canasta game arranged on Cardzmania with audio for everyone. So it's an online get together with a chat and conversation....much more fun than playing silently.

So actually, I'm doing okay-found my balance given our current circumstances.....then when I go to therapy, I think I'm not getting my money's worth, cause I'm not talking and processing trauma-I'm talking about the pandemic and I've found a balance. This new therapist after agreeing that the other T made things worse, and didn't give me the fundamental skills to ground, but there is no part of me that wants to do trauma processing in a pandemic...cause next week.....my T might have it....or I might be given the option of online therapy-and no T is coming into my home virtually or otherwise, after what the other one did. T stays in the office....and I can manage well, as long as I don't bring it home. I don't need to work on grounding right now....because the rest of me is just fine and dandy not talking about trauma....So, now I think about things I could talk about in therapy, and don't write them down....get there......a total blank....my problems are at a zero level. In my head....we don't need therapy-there are no problems.....and can't be right now because everything else around me is so unpredictable.
 
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