RubyBlue
Policy Enforcement
Really. I know I’m usually one of the first to ask people if they are in therapy when they post here struggling. But honestly? I’m not feeling it anymore. I mean, I’d rather not pay so much money to be worthless when I can get that for free from others. Like why would I continue to pay and chase down a person to pay attention to me when I can get the same thing from a supposed friend who drops me as soon as she knows of a sort of possible diagnosis for free. When she does remember me she asks about my week and what accomplishments have happened. So I make up shit half the time so we can move on cause if I don’t she’ll harp on it. When it comes to trauma talk? That barely happens. Because I can’t and she doesn’t push and even if I force myself to write it down she puts it in a box to be burned later. Then we talk about my week and current events some more.
What’s the point?
I want to add, I’m checking out other T’s but I don’t know that I actually want to. I have a pdoc appt in the morning and I really want to just ghost him too. I’m fighting it because I need medication because I’m f*cking mental without it. The only shitty part is he requires me to be in active therapy to get those freaking meds. So I’m trapped. And I have really no desire to talk to any new or current T because what the hell is the point when it would just be me whining about a bad childhood that everyone has? Boohoo poor me.
What’s the point?
I want to add, I’m checking out other T’s but I don’t know that I actually want to. I have a pdoc appt in the morning and I really want to just ghost him too. I’m fighting it because I need medication because I’m f*cking mental without it. The only shitty part is he requires me to be in active therapy to get those freaking meds. So I’m trapped. And I have really no desire to talk to any new or current T because what the hell is the point when it would just be me whining about a bad childhood that everyone has? Boohoo poor me.