Childhood Attending family gatherings

[imdoneone]

I miss my dad. He left us before we were born. I'm heartbroken.

 

[Chris-duck]

Hey, can I ask how old you are?

 

[imdoneone]

I'm 24 now.

 

[RubyBlue]

Great! So you don’t have to worry about parental control making you attend gatherings. Do you believe your sister is a danger to your nieces and/or nephews?

And I’m sorry about your father, I lost mine too when I was a teen so I can empathize with missing him deeply. I’m not sure how it’s relevant to your current conversation here.

 

[Chris-duck]

Okay. I ask cos I'm finding it hard to follow your posts sometimes because they're one sentence at a time and not always related to what you were talking about before. You don't need to tell us anything you don't want to obviously. I just wonder what kinda input you're looking for from us?

Sometimes people just want somewhere to vent (diaries are good for this), or sometimes people get more applicable input when they give more info or ask specific questions. I want to help, I'm just not sure how.

 

[imdoneone]

Okay. I ask cos I'm finding it hard to follow your posts sometimes because they're one sentence at a time and not always related to what you were talking about before. You don't need to tell us anything you don't want to obviously. I just wonder what kinda input you're looking for from us?

Sometimes people just want somewhere to vent (diaries are good for this), or sometimes people get more applicable input when they give more info or ask specific questions. I want to help, I'm just not sure how.

I just want to vent.

 

[Chris-duck]

I just want to vent.

Sounds good. Checked out diary section? In public forum areas it gets confusing. So start a diary where you're free to talk without input :)

 

[imdoneone]

Can I file a lawsuit even if the perpetrator was also a child?

 

[RubyBlue]

Can I file a lawsuit even if the perpetrator was also a child?

You can try, but I’m not sure if it would work. What would your goal in the lawsuit be? Jail time, loss of custody of her children, or some kind of payout? Typically crimes committed by children are not legally acted on, unless its murder and that’s incredibly rare. They would want you to prove the abuse, is that something you are up for? I am not sure if testimony alone would be enough but it might be. Do you have other witnesses?

 

[imdoneone]

Jail time

 

[RubyBlue]

This site has some basic information. Given 7-12 year olds generally lack legal culpability I’m not sure it will actually go anywhere. But that doesn’t mean you can’t try.

Before you take action I would mull over these questions:

Are you prepared for the upheaval an investigation and interviews causes? Because everyone will know everything whether you like it or not.

Are you prepared to have absolutely no relationship with your sister and likely her children and anyone who chooses to support her?

Are you prepared to not have support from family?

Are you prepared for division criminal investigations cause? Again, everyone will know everything and will feel forced to choose a side.

Are you prepared for the original assailant to be flushed out and potentially charged?

Are you ready for family dynamics to change?

Are you ready for how the courts will choose to handle her children in regards to care if she is sent to jail?

Are you ready for her NOT to go to jail and have all of the division and strife within the family with her still present and caring for her children?

Once you pull the trigger, there’s really no turning back. And honestly I don’t think you’ll win this and personally I don’t think it should happen. I know you are angry and hurt, but I just can’t place that kind of responsibility on a child who literally did not know any better. She couldn’t know better. Because her brain wasn’t developed to have that kind of cognitive reasoning and you don’t say when her abuse started but often brain growth becomes stunted and disjointed when abuse begins. I was a 7 year old being sexually abused- I acted it out with friends, I also thought it was the most normal thing in the world. I know better now, but I didn’t then.

I would really really really consider therapy before police. I have a friend going through the process of reporting right now and it’s f*cking hell.

Just be prepared to have your world rocked and quite possibly lose control of how it will go.

 

[joeylittle]

I'm too scared. What should I do?

Don't go, if you don't want to.