What The Mirror Said

[anthony]

Hand in hand with self esteem, sufferers of PTSD need to tell themselves the following, being a true reflection of current personality:

1. I am enough.
2. I am a unique and precious human being.
3. I am OK and alright just as I am.
4. I am lovable and capable.
5. I am worthy and valuable.
6. I am more than my body, more than my thoughts, and more than my feelings and imaginings.
7. As a soul, I am the watcher and the observer who is growing in wisdom and love.
8. I have the power and authority to choose what thoughts I will dwell on, to choose the words I speak, to choose which feelings and imaginings I will hold onto and dwell on, for I am the captain of my ship.

Whilst these may sound silly to the average person, they are extremely relevant to anyone with PTSD, as we tend to hide our old selves, recluse from our true inner beings, and just accept what is said. None of which is acceptable to a person without PTSD, so why would it be acceptable to us? It's not. You are important, you deserve respect of your illness and past, you deserve to respect yourself.

 

[Jade-]

Do you think if a person tells themself these things enough times they will eventually believe them?

 

[Nicolette]

That's how affirmations work...the repetition of saying it over and over will, in time, if done regularly, replace old thought patterns. They say it takes 21 days to break a habit so that means at least 21 days of saying it as if you really want to believe it. Belief is crucial too.

 

[Blutarg]

It's so very hard to comrehend.

 

[The Albatross]

I had a run at this... and the first recommended affirmation was "I want to live". I have incorporated them daily as part of my self care.

 

[Froggie]

Do you think if a person tells themself these things enough times they will eventually believe them?

JB, it's just trying to live one of these statements at a time that it will sink in. It's one thing repeating them, it's the living it and feeling it in our PTSD skin that will make a difference

 

[anni]

God. I just got home an hour ago from watching my parents die incrementally, trying to force the accuity into action.Thought I'd get coffee and browse here without logging in- sometimes gets things moving when I know the PTSD is raging in there. The dam coffee is cold because I saw this. It doesn't sound silly, it sounds really, really hard. Not a stubborn, self pity thing either just don't remember liking myself much for 20 years. This has me in tears-even those the PTSD head doesn't believe are deserved. Self worth- my T has been hammering away at this forever-says it's the key.

Going to go print that and heat the coffee before someone catches me boohooing. This is a great kindness, thank you.

 

[Powder]

"As a soul, I am the watcher and the observer who is growing in wisdom and love." Wow!

When I read the list, I have personally began working on almost all of it from sheer necessity over the years. It is ALL relevant grist for the mill for someone with PTSD. This is really needed. The soul part is fascinating to me. I think that it could apply to everyone, but it is crucial for survival for those who struggle through life in any way. The soul is "growing" like a child grows, beautifully, and is never "stunted" by PTSD. I had a bad therapist who made me feel damaged and stunted and this is the Amen to me, that we are still growing and can actually use the past to grow with in the present.

I want to reach out to those young 20's people here who just got diagnosed. I was you once. I spent my 21st Birthday not able to have a celebratory drink because of the medication. Being suicidal means wondering what there is to celebrate and how many more Birthdays will be endured. It gets better... Being young and new to adult life anyway is a hard thing with newly acquired diagnoses. Not fun. But what I needed someone to say to me then was, "You are going to work through this, and you are still going to achieve goals and be who you want to be...Your soul will put this all to good use if you keep on trying." Unfortunately, I got other messages. People wanted to prepare me to "Settle" with what life handed me. It turned up the depression part BIG TIME. I knew that wasn't the whole story. I'm committed to understanding PTSD and finding ways to get better and I hope that like Anthony, that we can all make a difference somehow for those who are growing up with PTSD and related challenges.

Muse

 

[Powder]

If you look at the rings of a tree, you can actually count the rings back and see when it was a very cold winter by how thick that ring is. PTSD is part of our growth process. The years of the traumas result in changes that are like thick rings we use to push out, push people away, and numb out the "cold." But the rest of our rings don't have to be that think and we resume growth. It's an organic process.

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Thank you, Anthony!

It's amazing; my Ts have been working with me on this, and my basic survival / conditioning isn't giving up its grip without a fight. Reading this, I can only take in bits and pieces, not with my usually good reading comprehension.
(Too much "survival noise" jamming up the bandwidth.)

(Just the image of the person looking into the mirror is a big challenge for me, because I have not been able to do it. Only quick glances while I brush hair, or to check clothing...otherwise it's... wow, is this difficult to write!)

I can tell this is an article I need to keep coming back to read, take in and practice.
Thank you for the challenge, Anthony.

 

[Nev Hyde]

I looked in the mirror and saw an older person with darker bags under my eyes and wrinkles etching themselves into the pores on my face.
It has been a while since i really looked into the mirror, i'm not sure if i'm ready to look past my eyes just yet as i think i'm still trying to avoid what triggers my anxiety even though the trauma has subsided.

 

[No Folded Hands]

What the Mirror said, NFH version last night: "What? They really don't think that face doesn't look 50?!?"

Go ahead and giggle, it's supposed to be funny. Y'see, I think I look my age and it's always a shock when someone says there is no way and I must be 40 at most. I usually point to the grey on the top of my head! Last night was especially shocking, as the person saying it this time then told me that people with a positive spirit looked young longer throughout their lives...wow.

Isn't that another way of saying the things in Anthony's list?

I don't see how I can help anyone growing up with PTSD as that is not my experience. But I suspect that for any of us, there are others with either similar expereinces or with some part of their experience similar enough that such aid can truly occur. Mirrors don't tend to bother me the way they used to, when the basic message was something like "geez, hasn't it been a lot of time rather wasted by now?" Now, the bothering tends to come from not yet having got used to --or perhaps determining not to get used to, which it may be switching into-- being no longer reasonably fit.

I have my moments of feeling fair useless or unworthy of the love I have, or unequal to returning it appropriately and in full measure. Mostly, though, it's a struggle to be equal to doing what falls to me to do in regards to the work in my life --paid or unpaid. I guess sometimes this is what happens when you've managed to get through having a pretty constant question of worth or right? I see it, therefore I am one who must speak of it; if none of us who perceive something does, it will not get better...but I am so tired...tired of all kinds of fighting.