What Does A Diagnosis Mean to You?

[RNrecovery]

Does anyone else feel resistant to having a PTSD diagnosis? I am fine with my bipolar diagnosis. I’m fact it makes me feel better to have a name for what I went through. And when I was young I didn’t mind PTSD being thrown about. Part of it is that people seem to throw the term around like it’s nothing these days. The other part is that I remember when I was younger and completely debilitated by my symptoms. I also feel a little like giving this a name admits that the people who hurt me still have power.

Anyone resonate with this?

 

[LittleBigFoot]

I resonate big time with this, no real advice. The hardest part is at this point if you say you have PTSD there’s almost an automatic eye roll because “everyone” has it so it’s just a throwaway term and that feels so invalidating. Because it’s not like I got it from tripping on a sidewalk one time (saw a YouTuber say she has ptsd because she fell on the sidewalk in the rain) there were serious and legitimate things that happened. But I also don’t want to tell random strangers my reasons for having it (to defend myself/prove myself) because it’s not their business and it’s kinda attention seeking (which I also struggle with) so all that to say I feel ya and I don’t know what to do about it either.

 

[RNrecovery]

I resonate big time with this, no real advice. The hardest part is at this point if you say you have PTSD there’s almost an automatic eye roll because “everyone” has it so it’s just a throwaway term and that feels so invalidating. Because it’s not like I got it from tripping on a sidewalk one time (saw a YouTuber say she has ptsd because she fell on the sidewalk in the rain) there were serious and legitimate things that happened. But I also don’t want to tell random strangers my reasons for having it (to defend myself/prove myself) because it’s not their business and it’s kinda attention seeking (which I also struggle with) so all that to say I feel ya and I don’t know what to do about it either.

So much this. I don’t want to tell everyone my business but it’s also the “it” term so I just so don’t say anything. I have so appreciated coming here. I see people from all stages and parts of the ptsd spectrum. I’ve been on other groups briefly and they didn’t quite fit.

 

[joeylittle]

I had delayed-onset PTSD - very delayed. So, the diagnosis really snuck up on me. I knew I was having all these symptoms, but they seemed sort of....I don't know, normal? At least sub-clinical. I was deeply depressed before I disclosed to my therapist, and deeply depressed after, so that's all I tracked. It was my psychiatrist who just one day talked about my "PTSD symptoms" - and I was so surprised, I said "I have PTSD? No I don't". And then, she took me through it and I saw that yeah, that was PTSD. And, eventually, those symptoms got wrangled back under more of my control, and so now sometimes I'm just confused as to what exactly is going wrong in my head - what is trauma-related, what is Dysthymia, and what is a major depressive episode.

But what you're saying resonates with me, @RNrecovery. I understand the depression diagnosis. I just don't always grasp the PTSD, or whether it's CPTSD....so I just take it by symptom set, and try and accept what's happening to me, whenever it's happening. I do think it would. be easier if the depression was managed, which for me, it's not. The times when it's been better managed (medication-wise, or other treatment forms-wise), I've been able to chip away at the trauma. But it's been a long stretch of worsening depression, with sometimes PTSD jumping onto the pile.

Still, as imperfect as all of it is - I appreciate the diagnostic criteria, and the diagnosis - while simultaneously knowing that there's just a f*ckton that is still unknown about neurological dysfunction/disorder.

 

[coraxxx]

I am happy with the diagnose because it does explain a lot of what I went, and I’m going, through.

Before it it’s not as if I did not know I hadn’t trauma and maladaptive patterns that formed around the specifics of my situation, but I wasn’t aware of the difference of crit A traumas and what we casually call trauma.

It gave me space to think of my behaviour through this lens, in more technical terms, and understand that a lot of the struggle I was having was actually hypervigilance and dissociation, and that there is a neurological foundation to it, it isn’t just me wanting attention. I didn’t recognize myself in these things before even knowing they existed because I knew many people in critical mental health conditions.

Being subclinical or subcritical to me was equal to function, was equal to I can go f*ck myself somewhere else with my little problems. Except that trying to throw myself off a bridge in a fit of rage isn’t exactly subcritical and the rest, while subcritical, isn’t good. And something that isn’t good is bad enough to be taken care of. Basically my only criterion was YEA BUT AT LEAST I’M NOT DYING AINT I. Which I also discovered to be stupidly PTSDesque, this binary thing, my ways of treating things for myself were life/death, okay/kaput, fix it/screw it. Not for others, but for myself. Don’t get me wrong I was nuanced to describe things etc, but just not to assess gravity, having any sense of comfort or correctness apart okay/not okay.

So since I was diagnosed, I’m capable to see I progressed a lot. And for this I’m really happy.

And yes I’m a bit annoyed to see everything can be a trauma, everyone is "traumatized"… but actually I prefer this than having a world where nothing is worth complaining about or trying to find sense. Where dust off and f*cking walk is your go-to option even if you’re bleeding since the last 10km. And for the woman with her sidewalk, technically it could be a critA. You can die and perhaps she saw it and envisioned it very clearly, who knows. Now PTSD really tends to develop more with interpersonal violence than with mundane accidents but it isn’t impossible.

And actually, even people who say they’re "traumatized" by a rap song, to take the example of the other thread… if someone has such a strong response to words or lyrics, it might be more than just being sensitive. The rap song isn’t a crit A. But it can trigger responses that once were caused by a crit A, and the person is just all confused and is confusing the consequences for the causes. So it’s very difficult to assess, even what people mean when they say "Oh I got PTSD because I slipped on a sidewalk". It might be the sidewalk is a cover up story for the context of it and being the presentable part of the trauma. It might be it’s literal. It might be that that person wants attention. It might be it’s all of that. On case by case I can’t assess.

What annoys me is the quantity of TW and tone-policing, or trigger warnings on things that are generally just… well not your opinion. The recuperation of the word "triggering" is much more general and problematic I find, because it just sweeps away the difference between activated and triggered. You can get FUBAR triggered over a butterfly or the shape of a teacup. This, no one is capable of placing a TW on it. While certain topics might be activating in general and certain graphic depictions do well deserve to have a warning on it so you don’t have to expose yourself to the details of something you might even already know. I like words to mean what they mean and triggering doesn’t equal problematic or activating. It’s not that far but it isn’t the same. And using one to mean the other fuzzes the original meaning which is problematic. (Triggering for some.)

Overall I think the general public really would benefit from education about PTSD which is a very prevalent condition among humans. And it’s also so rich in explaining a lot of underlying mechanisms of what we very quickly call madness or stupidity that I find it silly it’s not better known.

 

[internal]

ptsd specefically? no. it is what i have. in my mind it would be silly to ignore reality. i have ptsd. however that logic isn't consistent. there are other diagnoses to ptsd that i resisted to get. because the stigma to them is significent. how ever now i am able to obtain medicine for this so the diagnoses has been benefecial. and i can deal with the stigma. i am a human being, not a set of dsm critera.

 

[RNrecovery]

I am happy with the diagnose because it does explain a lot of what I went, and I’m going, through.

Before it it’s not as if I did not know I hadn’t trauma and maladaptive patterns that formed around the specifics of my situation, but I wasn’t aware of the difference of crit A traumas and what we casually call trauma.

It gave me space to think of my behaviour through this lens, in more technical terms, and understand that a lot of the struggle I was having was actually hypervigilance and dissociation, and that there is a neurological foundation to it, it isn’t just me wanting attention. I didn’t recognize myself in these things before even knowing they existed because I knew many people in critical mental health conditions.

Being subclinical or subcritical to me was equal to function, was equal to I can go f*ck myself somewhere else with my little problems. Except that trying to throw myself off a bridge in a fit of rage isn’t exactly subcritical and the rest, while subcritical, isn’t good. And something that isn’t good is bad enough to be taken care of. Basically my only criterion was YEA BUT AT LEAST I’M NOT DYING AINT I. Which I also discovered to be stupidly PTSDesque, this binary thing, my ways of treating things for myself were life/death, okay/kaput, fix it/screw it. Not for others, but for myself. Don’t get me wrong I was nuanced to describe things etc, but just not to assess gravity, having any sense of comfort or correctness apart okay/not okay.

So since I was diagnosed, I’m capable to see I progressed a lot. And for this I’m really happy.

And yes I’m a bit annoyed to see everything can be a trauma, everyone is "traumatized"… but actually I prefer this than having a world where nothing is worth complaining about or trying to find sense. Where dust off and f*cking walk is your go-to option even if you’re bleeding since the last 10km. And for the woman with her sidewalk, technically it could be a critA. You can die and perhaps she saw it and envisioned it very clearly, who knows. Now PTSD really tends to develop more with interpersonal violence than with mundane accidents but it isn’t impossible.

And actually, even people who say they’re "traumatized" by a rap song, to take the example of the other thread… if someone has such a strong response to words or lyrics, it might be more than just being sensitive. The rap song isn’t a crit A. But it can trigger responses that once were caused by a crit A, and the person is just all confused and is confusing the consequences for the causes. So it’s very difficult to assess, even what people mean when they say "Oh I got PTSD because I slipped on a sidewalk". It might be the sidewalk is a cover up story for the context of it and being the presentable part of the trauma. It might be it’s literal. It might be that that person wants attention. It might be it’s all of that. On case by case I can’t assess.

What annoys me is the quantity of TW and tone-policing, or trigger warnings on things that are generally just… well not your opinion. The recuperation of the word "triggering" is much more general and problematic I find, because it just sweeps away the difference between activated and triggered. You can get FUBAR triggered over a butterfly or the shape of a teacup. This, no one is capable of placing a TW on it. While certain topics might be activating in general and certain graphic depictions do well deserve to have a warning on it so you don’t have to expose yourself to the details of something you might even already know. I like words to mean what they mean and triggering doesn’t equal problematic or activating. It’s not that far but it isn’t the same. And using one to mean the other fuzzes the original meaning which is problematic. (Triggering for some.)

Overall I think the general public really would benefit from education about PTSD which is a very prevalent condition among humans. And it’s also so rich in explaining a lot of underlying mechanisms of what we very quickly call madness or stupidity that I find it silly it’s not better known.

You have a good point in your rap song example. The more I’ve learned about ptsd the more wonder if all the people who are calling “ptsd” over a movie or a song really do have ptsd. They just don’t know why (yet). Our brains neatly package so many things away to protect us until we hear a song or smell a perfume or hear a certain tone of voice.

I’ve been reading “The Body Keeps Score” and it’s helped me understand a lot about myself. It’s also increased my patience with those around me. Child abuse, domestic abuse, war, accidents touch so many lives.

 

[Lionheart]

I was diagnosed in 1990 as having PTSD related to being an adult child of an alcoholic.

Almost 10 years later, I was diagnosed as having severe depressive disorder and PTSD in connection to sexual abuse that I endured as a child. It wasn't until this 2nd diagnosis that I began to take it seriously and I finally came to understand just what PTSD and clinical depression are. Eventually, it led to me getting a trauma therapist and healing.

But for 10 years I thot that calling me an ACOA was the same as saying that I was immature, ...which I later learned is not true. Anyway, I was relieved when I finally got the diagnosis of chronic, delayed onset, "complex" PTSD, and severe depressive disorder. It answered a lot of questions that I had and it gave me an "out" a way to heal for which I am eternally grateful.

 

[Friday]

Does anyone else feel resistant to having a PTSD diagnosis?

When I’m doing badly I don’t have PTSD 3 or 4 times a day.

 

[RNrecovery]

When I’m doing badly I don’t have PTSD 3 or 4 times a day.

I hear you. I haven’t had PTSD pretty much all day since we started a new covid surge in my area. No not me. Nothing to see here.

 

[Spokesperson brave]

I initially embraced the diagnosis, and I think I still do. Waters wet the sky is blue I have PTSD and ok Satan Claus is out there (sorry I'm awful at quoting and changing movie quotes). Also I have been more open about it. I will sometimes explain to to people, especially someone that doesn't know me that I have PTSD, and sometimes it will affect how I interact with people, and if they notice something socially inept/awkward/rude/socially unacceptable to let me know because I may not even know what I am doing/saying and I also cope with a lot of dark and inappropriate humor. Opening up talking about it is hard, but I usually get follow on questions about PTSD, or they'll say they have a friend/relative that has it etc. I figure throw it out into the sunlight and out of the darkness. (Even if I'm still in the darkness)

Im probably rambling cause I'm in a major stress period making that's has me pretty high across the symptom spectrum right now.