My therapist of five years has recently ended therapy with me very suddenly. We were working away quite nicely, just starting to really 'get to' the real trauma work when she had a bereavement. She took a month off and then before our scheduled session said that she had re-evaluated her working life and was planning to wind down her private practice by December. I took this really badly, but did kind of get used to the idea before our next session, which seemed to go ok. I was now focussed and ready to dive into the work that we have spent the last few years preparing for.
Then, in the middle of the next session, she just said that she had just realised in the last half hour that she shouldn't be working. That she needed to stop and that it was unlikely that she would ever start back up again.
Boom.
I have been left totally alone with this Teenage One, and with all of the thoughts and feelings surrounding the trauma that we were unearthing and I just don't know what to do with any of it. I have been trying to find someone new to work with but I am not having a great deal of success. It's just so hard to find the right person to work with me. I am just trying to get by the best I can.
She offered no 'good-bye' session, no planning for the future, no referral, no nothing. She still has some of my belongings (a book, some art that I created and some papers that we wrote on) and I haven't even heard back from her about getting these back. I loved my therapist and I truly believe that if she were in her right mind and able, she would not have done this this way, but something must have really, really clouded her judgement - at least I hope that is the case, otherwise this will really be a terrible lasting memory for me. She has always been so sensible, so safe, so reliable.
We had been doing a form of reparative/reparenting therapy, which, before anyone comments, has worked wonders for me. So many positive changes in my life and I have even learnt how to be the good enough mother to my own Little One, but we were deep in the middle of working with my older child part, the Teenage One, and this bombshell is hitting me so hard. I feel so totally lost and confused. Alone and hurting. This was 5 weeks ago now and I am still really, really struggling. I am functioning. For sure. Day to day, I am working and cooking and eating and exercising but emotionally I am dying inside and it doesn't feel like anyone will ever understand except her, and she isn't here anymore.
I don't know what I am looking for here, maybe just understanding and a place to talk about how this has left me feeling and what my actions going forwards are. I hate not being in control, so maybe this could be a good lesson for me in a very twisted way but here is literally nothing I can do with regards to her, it is totally out of my hands.
Thanks for listening.
Then, in the middle of the next session, she just said that she had just realised in the last half hour that she shouldn't be working. That she needed to stop and that it was unlikely that she would ever start back up again.
Boom.
I have been left totally alone with this Teenage One, and with all of the thoughts and feelings surrounding the trauma that we were unearthing and I just don't know what to do with any of it. I have been trying to find someone new to work with but I am not having a great deal of success. It's just so hard to find the right person to work with me. I am just trying to get by the best I can.
She offered no 'good-bye' session, no planning for the future, no referral, no nothing. She still has some of my belongings (a book, some art that I created and some papers that we wrote on) and I haven't even heard back from her about getting these back. I loved my therapist and I truly believe that if she were in her right mind and able, she would not have done this this way, but something must have really, really clouded her judgement - at least I hope that is the case, otherwise this will really be a terrible lasting memory for me. She has always been so sensible, so safe, so reliable.
We had been doing a form of reparative/reparenting therapy, which, before anyone comments, has worked wonders for me. So many positive changes in my life and I have even learnt how to be the good enough mother to my own Little One, but we were deep in the middle of working with my older child part, the Teenage One, and this bombshell is hitting me so hard. I feel so totally lost and confused. Alone and hurting. This was 5 weeks ago now and I am still really, really struggling. I am functioning. For sure. Day to day, I am working and cooking and eating and exercising but emotionally I am dying inside and it doesn't feel like anyone will ever understand except her, and she isn't here anymore.
I don't know what I am looking for here, maybe just understanding and a place to talk about how this has left me feeling and what my actions going forwards are. I hate not being in control, so maybe this could be a good lesson for me in a very twisted way but here is literally nothing I can do with regards to her, it is totally out of my hands.
Thanks for listening.