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CoryS

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I’ve been sick since I was 18. I’m fifty now. I was on Prozac when it was a baby, thousands of therapies and meds, ect, tms, ketamine. But I think I’m giving up. I worked hard. I became a psychologist and worked with the less fortunate. I tried to instill good values in my children. I only ever wanted to help. To make my suffering mean something, To leave the world better than I found it. But honestly I’ve done it all alone. And I still have no idea if anyone really sees me for who I am or loves me. I’m trying but I’m scared. I’m so tired.
 
I wasn't sick as a child. But I relate to every thing else. You are not alone in your thoughts and feelings.

But I will share this with you. I am very depressed right now. And the depression clouds, covers and mutes the truth from getting past the gatekeeper...depression.

Welcome to the forum. Hope you read around and see what you relate to. And I hope it gives you something to hold on to until things shift and learn that you are loved and cared about.
 
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I’ve been sick since I was 18. I’m fifty now. I was on Prozac when it was a baby, thousands of therapies and meds, ect, tms, ketamine. But I think I’m giving up. I worked hard. I became a psychologist and worked with the less fortunate. I tried to instill good values in my children. I only ever wanted to help. To make my suffering mean something, To leave the world better than I found it. But honestly I’ve done it all alone. And I still have no idea if anyone really sees me for who I am or loves me. I’m trying but I’m scared. I’m so tired.
I could have written this, except I don't have kids and I don't have the care anymore if any of this means anything. Mine started around 7, and I am 60 now.

I'm so sorry you are struggling. There certainly are ups and downs, but it doesn't go away for some.
 
I’ve been sick since I was 18. I’m fifty now. I was on Prozac when it was a baby, thousands of therapies and meds, ect, tms, ketamine. But I think I’m giving up. I worked hard. I became a psychologist and worked with the less fortunate. I tried to instill good values in my children. I only ever wanted to help. To make my suffering mean something, To leave the world better than I found it. But honestly I’ve done it all alone. And I still have no idea if anyone really sees me for who I am or loves me. I’m trying but I’m scared. I’m so tired.
I’m sure you HAVE helped many many people. Your empathy has probably saved countless lives. Hold on. Things change. Ups. Downs. There are people who love you. I’m tired too. But there are people who depend on us. Sending good thoughts your way.
 
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