What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Marie E.]

I just got a memory trigger from seeing that a person I clicked on who started a thread is from the same place as my ex (father of my kids), but no worries, I know how to separate the present from the past and this person ofcourse is not to blame. That is PTSD for ya! :confused:

Opps I forgot to mention that my ex was the cause of me having PTSD in the first place. He was abusive not only to me, but the kids.

 

[seedling]

Yesterday I was cruising and happy and content.
Today I'm overwhelmed with sick anxiety that I'm ruining my kids' lives. Ugh, ugh and triple ugh.

 

[jasmin]

optimistic.

 

[Grace11]

Self-loathing and hating myself for it. Doesn't make sense, and makes me extremely frustrated. With myself.

 

[KP the nut]

Tired, can't sleep.
Brain in hyperdrive
Sad my children have gone back to their lives - I miss them
Anxious

 

[goingonhope]

I'm feeling SCARED! Hurt, betrayed, depressed, lost, stuck and blank.

 

[Iam]

Yesterday I was cruising and happy and content.
Today I'm overwhelmed with sick anxiety that I'm ruining my kids' lives. Ugh, ugh and triple ugh.

I'm sorry Seedling. I hate to say this, but I am feeling the same way only in the past tense. It sucks.

 

[Iam]

Self-loathing and hating myself for it. Doesn't make sense, and makes me extremely frustrated. With myself.

(((Hugs))) Curiouser

 

[Sethe]

I am frustrated. Angry? Secondary emotion. So, I think the anger is covering up fear. Fear of being 'hurt' and 'punished.'

 

[Marie E.]

I feel nervous enough to feel sick, my mind is trying to disassociate, but is half way in between. Though I do think creating a diary on here is worth it. I feel some things are not solved in the present and I should not feel responsible for it just cause the man I broke it with refuses to leave me alone. Why should I have to defend myself when somebody else dumps their garbage on me and smothers me with it, just so they can feel good for themselves?! I've had it and am angry. I guess I feel very lonely too :(

 

[Philippa]

Right now...broken and confused.

I still have not managed to stop myself from maintaining contact with a fellow who I know is bad for me, and wounds me with emotionally abusive "jokes" and teasings, and then just tells me I have no sense of humor. I knew it was happening from the very start, and I stood up for myself, thinking it would stop if I just kept standing up for myself and calling him out when he did it. I still do, and he still insists that I need to develop my humor. I know what I find funny and I tell him that his jokes aren't funny to me and that what he says is hurtful...and he just rolls his eyes and laughs if I say it's emotional abuse.

I know that he has just been trying to erode my self-worth because he has none, and it makes him feel better about himself to make me feel bad. It makes him feel better to bring someone down to his level because he is envious and jealous of the fact that I actually like myself and have some modicum of self-esteem. He's determined to put an end to that, and I seem to be going along with it, which makes me feel worthless and bad. I have worked too hard to let one person screw it up, and yet I have my finger on the destruct button of the 'friendship' and just won't press it?

 

[Philippa]

I feel pathetic.