Poll Has PTSD Caused You To Attempt Suicide?

[Orsino]

Many times. It wasn't the core reason but in truth it didn't help the matters.

 

[deer_in_headlights]

(((((((((((((SuperJen))))))))))))

 

[shadowchaser]

(((((SuperJen))))))
(((((Orsino))))))

 

[sky dancer]

Yes. I took xanax and drank a bottle of wine in 2009.

 

[curiouser]

Yes thought about it several times, and attempted once in 2000 with some pills. Luckily one of my roommates at the time found me. I'm so grateful that I failed, I cannot believe the experiences and people I would have missed out on had I succeeded, not to mention the loved ones I would have so deeply hurt, although at the time I didn't care.

I'm still amazed at how different and how much my life has changed since that day, I never thought things could be get so much better, and that I was capable of so much healing. I thought I was so broken, I wasn't. I thought things would never change, they did.

 

[Tinyflame]

Curiouser, I am very glad for you! :)
Can I ask, what do you mean, "I thought I was so broken, I wasn't" ? Does that mean 'beyond repair'?
Thanks!

P.S I always liked your user name, reminds me of as a kid always thought 'funner' :)

 

[Heather]

I was 15 y/o was i made my first really serious attempt. I skipped school went to the supermarket, stole sleeping pills and swallowed all of them. I really wanted to die. I was ready to die. I was resigned to having my life be over. I must have passed out and boy was I pissed when I woke up several hours later. I went to school the next day like nothing happened.

 

[curiouser]

Junebug, thanks for the sweet comment on my user name, too cute.

To answer your question, yes, I felt like I was broken and such a permanently changed person from the murder. I thought I could never feel like a whole person again instead of this "half of a person" that I felt I now was. I thought the pain, guilt, anger, and fear would never leave me. I thought I would be thinking about the trauma and the court trial and be haunted by it forever. I spent years feeling this way, I tried meds, did talk therapy, tried EMDR a few times and still felt like it was hanging over me, like it had become who I was.

There has been so much more to my healing than I thought, it's not been just about letting go of what happened. It's been about changing my beliefs and my perception of healing itself, it's been about the emotional meanings that my brain has tied into the trauma as well. It's also been about understanding the reasons and benefits to my physical and emotional issues from all this. All these elements I've had to work on, beyond just the traumatic event itself.

 

[Srain]

I've had very serious attempts and each time with some what I can only call amazing and head shaking intervention. Heather, I felt like you, mad as hell! It's a terrible feeling and you feel very alone with it. Later I found some much amazement because of the people I love and love me in my life. I have been through some wonderful times. Now I pretty much live with ideation most of the time but it feels more difficult, hard to explain.

Rain

 

[KP the nut]

It has caused me to contemplate it many times. But only one serious attempt. Obviously I failed. I'm glad I failed.

I'm sure glad you failed as well. I have really appreciated your support since I joined the forum.
(((HUGS to your little guys))) ok you can have a hug as well:D
KP

 

[KP the nut]

I've never attempted it. I know it wouldn't be fair on my family. It's that I'm fine and OK gene again!
I do sometimes wish I hadn't survived the crash. Living is so hard

 

[Rainbow Socks]

I've attempted suicide before but I wouldn't say it was 100% because of my PTSD- I also suffer from Bipolar Disorder with psychotic features, & when I'm suicidal I'm usually so disconnected from reality that I'm not even thinking of my traumatic memories.