cPTSD and memory/parts

[Gareth]

Hi UK based with a diagnosis of CPTSD too

I really recognise what you describe (including the mixed recall later on). Have you ever looked at/ discussed with therapist discociative disorders (and the overlap between them and CPTSD) ? It's really helped me recently understand where I might sit on that 'line' of dissociation even though it's been really hard to accept initially. There are a few UK based specialist clinics that provide very useful information/ tools that I'm slowly reading through. It's like finding all the right words for experiences I've had for ages but couldn't verbalise.

Hi there, pleased you replied. I have - I’ve been having regular sessions with a clinical psychologist but went for a ‘second opinion’ with another psych who specialised in CPTSD who gave me the info and the confidence to go back to the original psych and request the dissociative side was taken more seriously.

I’m pleased to say that it worked because I’ve built up a good relationship with the original psychologist. Have you had a similar experience?

 

[Midnightmoon]

Hi there, pleased you replied. I have - I’ve been having regular sessions with a clinical psychologist but went for a ‘second opinion’ with another psych who specialised in CPTSD who gave me the info and the confidence to go back to the original psych and request the dissociative side was taken more seriously.

I’m pleased to say that it worked because I’ve built up a good relationship with the original psychologist. Have you had a similar experience?

That sounds like positive progress, I hope it helps to start joining up some dots for you.

My first therapy failed in 'crash and burn' style from someone who claimed they we're an expert in trauma....I've started again very recently and hope its different this time around

 

[Gareth]

That sounds like positive progress, I hope it helps to start joining up some dots for you.

My first therapy failed in 'crash and burn' style from someone who claimed they we're an expert in trauma....I've started again very recently and hope its different this time around

Have you gone private? I’ve had to, but it was surreal having to learn how it worked in private practice world.

 

[Midnightmoon]

Have you gone private? I’ve had to, but it was surreal having to learn how it worked in private practice world.

Yes, I had no choice anyway as I have medical trauma as part of my difficulty, so going into a 'normal' clinical building is a flat no before I even begin!

 

[Gareth]

Yes, I had no choice anyway as I have medical trauma as part of my difficulty, so going into a 'normal' clinical building is a flat no before I even begin!

I think the NHS is more or less unusable when it comes to stuff like this anyhow - I’ve had no success from it unfortunately. What sort of therapist are you seeing now and what treatments are you having if you don’t mind me asking?

 

[beaneeboo]

Hi all, hope everyone is ok.

I’m in UK & my 40s and I was diagnosed with complex PTSD a few years ago after a previous diagnosis of BPD/EUPD. Suffice to say, I score highly on the ACEs scale.

For decades I’ve suffered from emotional dysregulation and emotional flashbacks, as well as the usual symptoms. I’ve had nearly two years worth of therapy (mostly EMDR and grounding) and one thing I’m working on with a psych is dissociation. I’m aware that I dissociate badly at times (losing time too) particularly in times of stress, vulnerability or boredom but I’ve found out after the event that I’ve been doing unusual things. This can be anything from getting drinks without memory (once driving to a local coffee shop and back and only realising when I took a drink and wondered where the cup had come from), to conversations on social media for hours that I have no recollection of. Throughout my life I’ve had issues of writing documents for work and home - only to find once I’ve started that I’ve done them, I find that I’ve already done these before … again with no recollection.

Has anyone else with cPTSD experienced similar?

Sorry if I've missed lots of info here... but when I read your post i thought that maybe considering whether you're experiencing symptoms of more severe forms of dissociation could be worth looking into? There is a spectrum of dissociative disorders ... and doing things you don't remember and losing time is quite a big sign that DDs could be worth exploringwith your therapist...(sorry if you've discussed this- my brain is running out of jiuce so i skim read your post!)

 

[Midnightmoon]

I think the NHS is more or less unusable when it comes to stuff like this anyhow - I’ve had no success from it unfortunately. What sort of therapist are you seeing now and what treatments are you having if you don’t mind me asking?

The only solid route I'm aware of in the UK is CDS (via NHS commissioning board referral) which offers a huge package. Other than that, there appears to be at best basic services that possibly do more harm than good forore complex needs (Computerised CBT anyone )

I have a double session of relational attachment based psychotherapy ( very fortunate that it's at a heavy concessioned cost) , plus a specialist private OT and some alternative therapeutic input (thats via a charity)

 

[Gareth]

Sorry if I've missed lots of info here... but when I read your post i thought that maybe considering whether you're experiencing symptoms of more severe forms of dissociation could be worth looking into? There is a spectrum of dissociative disorders ... and doing things you don't remember and losing time is quite a big sign that DDs could be worth exploringwith your therapist...(sorry if you've discussed this- my brain is running out of jiuce so i skim read your post!)

Hi! Thanks for your reply. It has been discussed in the thread but it was to find out how ‘similar’ other people’s experience was. It’s been a bit of a shocking learning experience and previously my psych has focused on the CPTSD and not really given the DD any airtime - until I involved someone else. We’re only a week in but it looks like it’s going somewhere.

 

[binchilling]

Yes & No.

Yes :
- Dysreg,
- Severe dissociative symptoms including fugue states & lost time (had a scare a few years ago where I ‘woke up’ on a bus in Chinatown & thought I was waking up somewhere in SE Asia… which isn’t outlandish… I used to do that kind of shit all the time; then have to Back To The Future it, to find out when/where I was, and hopefully why, who -if anyone- I was with; as well as other practicalities like if I got into the country legally or not). It had been yeeeears since I’d gone to sleep in one part of the world and snapped out of it in another, far more often I just lose a few hours here, a few days there. I find posts on here, all the durn time, that I don’t remember writing, but they sound like me, so that’s alright (That’s one hugely useful trick when my stress is up; journal..At worst that lets me know I’ve lost time I didn’t know about -I’m nearly, but not quite, eidetic- and at best they help fill in the blanks).
- Starting projects only to find out I’d already finished them.
- Flashbacks
- Complex Trauma

No:
- Childhood trauma (I’m super low ACES)
- BPD/EUPD traits
- Parts

What is ur ACES?

 

[Friday]

What is ur ACES?

Nonexistent. Zero. Golden childhood.

Childhood trauma is NOT a prerequisite for PTSD/CPTSD.

 

[Friday]

Thank you for sharing and sorry to hear that - sounds like you’re on the mend though?

Did you ever remember much about what happened during episodes? Mine seem to be mixed in terms of remembering (although I wondering if that’s more about finding clues and trying to work it out).

Very much mixed.

Sometimes i do... mostly by backtracing (okay, how the f*ck did I end up here?!?)... sometimes things filter through on their own.

 

[Compass307]

I wanted to offer solidarity in this as well. I’ve had very similar experiences and often times they correlate with moments of overwhelm / stressful experiences and triggers. Hoping all the best for you on this journey!