Sufferer Bouncing between hopeful and emotionless

[HollowLavender]

Hi, I'm a 31 year old transgender woman who's diagnosed with CPTSD, bipolar, borderline personality disorder as well as general anxiety. I'm trying to put my life back together after growing up with an abusive dad. My first bf was 23 when I was 15, a SA at 21, my family saying it was my fault and my friend group collectively disowning me when I acted out because of everything before my former friend sued me. I'll be honest I'm not exactly sure why I'm on here. I've been bouncing between hopeful and emotionless for about a year now. I guess I'm hoping to be able to talk to people? Idk.

 

[Sideways]

Welcome to the forum. You don’t need to have lofty goals to be here - sometimes just not being completely isolated makes it worthwhile being here.

Hope you find this place helpful:)

 

[arfie]

hello lavender. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

I'm trying to put my life back together after growing up with an abusive dad.

a breakthrough in my own recovery was the realization that i was trying to "put back together" something that never was together to begin with. i have done a great deal of construction and remodeling work. construction projects and remodeling projects need very different approaches. in the analogy to my personal life, i don't get to rewrite my childhood, but i do get to identify and relearn the spots where the lessons i learned in childhood were not functional enough to "put back together."

dunno if that makes any sense, but i mostly wanted to welcome you aboard. i hope you open yourself to the stabilizing companionship available here in this forum. i hope healing happens here. just hoping.

 

[PamelaS]

hello lavender. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

a breakthrough in my own recovery was the realization that i was trying to "put back together" something that never was together to begin with. i have done a great deal of construction and remodeling work. construction projects and remodeling projects need very different approaches. in the analogy to my personal life, i don't get to rewrite my childhood, but i do get to identify and relearn the spots where the lessons i learned in childhood were not functional enough to "put back together."

dunno if that makes any sense, but i mostly wanted to welcome you aboard. i hope you open yourself to the stabilizing companionship available here in this forum. i hope healing happens here. just hoping.

Thank you alfie for all of your sharing and encouragement to all of us. We all appreciate every contribution you make here. This was beautiful. Hoping and pray that you continue to bless people with your story and your healing journey and that you are blessed for sharing. Thank you so much. I am so blessed by being among you all. Take good care of yourself. And as you say many times, be gentle and move slowly. Thank you again for all that you share.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Welcome to the forum! It’sa special place for sure!

 

[Susan Jane]

Welcome to-the forum. I hope you find it helps, it sure helps me. I have CPTSD and ready and sharing here make me feel supported.