Relationship Advice Needed: Partner w/combat PTSD.

[GarciaL]

My (relatively) new partner has PTSD from his military days. He was deployed in Afghanistan around 2010. He doesn’t like to talk about his military experience in general. I don’t know the full story and probably never will - and that’s ok. He does enjoy alcohol responsibly and that does include getting drunk maybe a few times a month. Sometimes when he drinks he becomes really depressive and dark. Twice now, when that’s happened, he’s had some involuntary movement- twitching, turning his head, clenching and grinding his teeth, and sharp intakes of breath that make him snort. My gut tells me it’s PTSD related but he never remembers it when he sobers up. Is that a thing that happens with PTSD? How can I best support him when he gets depressive?

 

[Sideways]

Twice now, when that’s happened, he’s had some involuntary movement- twitching, turning his head, clenching and grinding his teeth, and sharp intakes of breath that make him snort.

Just in case he’s on medication for his ptsd, this is worth mentioning to his prescribing doctor pronto. Neurological twitches like this can be a not-uncommon side effect of particularly first-generation antipsychotics (which, despite their name, are used to help with a boat-load of symptoms, like anxiety, depression and insomnia). If it is that kind of medication side effect, he should potentially change meds.

Is that a thing that happens with PTSD?

All sorts of weird shit can happen with ptsd. Short answer is, could be the ptsd.

But, it could just as easily be something else, like a tbi showing up. So it’s worth him touching base with his GP to rule out anything more sinister.

How can I best support him when he gets depressive?

Encouraging things that:
1) get him moving - physical exercise is still about the best anti-depressant we know of

2) keep him connected - the depression + ptsd combo is very often a primer for serious isolation, which has a tendency to feed a downwards spiral

3) engage his brain (anything from boxing to woodwork to gardening to knitting to cooking to…) - activities that ground a person in the here and now activate the parts of the brain that start going offline when a depression episode is kicking off.

So, “hey, there’s a trail I really want to walk - will you do it with me this weekend?”

Just a few ideas.

Welcome to the forum!

 

[HomelessJoe]

The army make people do many things. They don't do a great job at how to live with afterwards. Another veteran around helps best. A group for combat vets. If you know anyone who has also served in combat. He will probably feel safe to clear his head in a healthier way. He needs to vent and mourn what the army told him to let go and the people that haunt them. I've had many friends who came home with horrible nightmares. The ones who kept it buried would have event like this. He doesn't want to tell you what's his nightmare because he doesn't want it to be your to...he needs a fellow combat veteran to talk to. Don't punish him for it. He is mourning the soldier way. Be patient remember a person isnt who they are on their worst day they are the person they are every other day.