DID Where have I gone - My parts are hiding from an evil part.

[Punky143]

My system is off balance. A good chunk of my parts are away and hiding from an evil part who wants nothing but to end us all. It's a terrible feeling because I don't know if and when they'll return and if the evil part will step aside. I'm left.. alone although I do have two other parts around but they are filled with sadness. I've talked to the hidden parts, done things they like with hopes of their return but they remain hidden. I'm left to question who I am and what is my purpose other than helping everyone else. I'm trying to help myself but I can't help but think I'm falling. Where do I belong and how do I find it while feeding so alone.

 

[Dark.Green.Feathers]

Could characterising it as an “evil” part potentially be adding to the problem? Do you have any perspective on why this part wants what they want? yes it’s destructive and harmful, but at the end of the day this is pointed inwards, so what beliefs and messages has this part ingested which are being expressed now? Do you have any idea where/who they come from and what believing/enforcing these things served at one time or another? What core belief/cognitive distortion wounds are coming out through this part? what’s aggravating them so much at the moment?

Nobody likes to feel antagonised, persecutory parts are very difficult to handle and i don’t want to downplay that for you at all, but they are capable of change and have reasoning for their actions. making them out to be enemies to be exterminated won’t encourage steps towards eventual cooperation and understanding. i know it’s nowhere near that simple a solution, but it will be a barrier towards things getting easier.

is there anything that can help the sad parts? can they express themselves in a journal/art, do you know any of their interests which you can engage in? do they need to be nurtured or listened to? anything you can do to look after yourself, too? it’s a very disorienting time, is there any structure you can maintain to help take care of yourself and not burn out on handling your own, and others’ problems?

it’s really hard to have system dynamics shift, especially when it feels like it’s backwards. sending empathy and hope.

 

[Punky143]

Could characterising it as an “evil” part potentially be adding to the problem? Do you have any perspective on why this part wants what they want? yes it’s destructive and harmful, but at the end of the day this is pointed inwards, so what beliefs and messages has this part ingested which are being expressed now? Do you have any idea where/who they come from and what believing/enforcing these things served at one time or another? What core belief/cognitive distortion wounds are coming out through this part? what’s aggravating them so much at the moment?

Nobody likes to feel antagonised, persecutory parts are very difficult to handle and i don’t want to downplay that for you at all, but they are capable of change and have reasoning for their actions. making them out to be enemies to be exterminated won’t encourage steps towards eventual cooperation and understanding. i know it’s nowhere near that simple a solution, but it will be a barrier towards things getting easier.

is there anything that can help the sad parts? can they express themselves in a journal/art, do you know any of their interests which you can engage in? do they need to be nurtured or listened to? anything you can do to look after yourself, too? it’s a very disorienting time, is there any structure you can maintain to help take care of yourself and not burn out on handling your own, and others’ problems?

it’s really hard to have system dynamics shift, especially when it feels like it’s backwards. sending empathy and hope.

Thank you for your kind words. You have a lot of good points. My highest parts name is literally Evil and she does have a lot to say but I myself don't know what it is and I'm ok with it. But my world has flipped upside down and I miss my parts family. Best of luck to you, thank you