Who Do I Turn To?

[Vee Lagrome]

That's what I'm saying! Service bunnies for people living with PTSD! :D We'll all be cured in no time!

I think that's a really good question for just about anyone here. I really have never heard it and no one has ever asked me that before, but it makes complete sense to ask when behavior seems off. When I seem kind of off, my husband never knows what to do, so maybe we ought to try that or something similar.

Yeah, you should definitely get a new therapist. I didn't realize how much time my previous therapists were wasting until I started with someone who works exclusively with PTSD and has worked specifically with veterans living with PTSD for over 20 years. It's almost like she can read my mind, which gives me a whole host of other problems to deal with, Lol. But yeah, it's definitely more effective to be with someone like her for therapy than just about every single one of my previous therapists (one of whom diagnosed me as being bipolar, so I still have to explain to every doctor and psychiatrist that I'm not bipolar and she slapped that down on paper after 15 minutes of not really talking to me).

Thanks for sharing what works for you! :) Also, much luck on the therapy hunt and the not-sleeping-on-couch thing!

 

[DianeP]

Oh goodness. I had one of those kind of therapist that told me and my husband I had Bipolar also! My mother came to live with us when my son was born and I went insane being near her!They put me on medications and well I tried to hurt myself and my husband it was not pretty! I am not Bipolar; that was clear when my husband rushed me to the hospital. That was 18 years ago. Wow time files. LOL

"It's almost like she can read my mind" My psychiatrist is that way. It's like he finish my sentences! I love going to him. He gives me a new look at things. I would reather just see him once a month. I am going to ask if that is ok. A 15 minutes sesion every month and no theripist. I love that idea!

He is the one that told me to use the " do you feel safe" Great doctor. I have to run got to babysit for our friend.

Have a healing and happy day,
Laura

 

[anni]

I'm just butting back in to say gosh-loved reading these conversations! It's one of the reasons I do not feel so alone since bumping into the forum- everyone sounds so much the same. I thought I was the only one who emailed articles to family members, too. Here's a hint, since you do that, and NOT to come across like a good little Forum-ite. :) The articles here tend to be written sans medicalese( well-some require it but even those you can follow), so folks can read the things, you know? Some seem kind of like if someone were speaking and explaining things to you- I've been known to copy/paste the contents in emails to obtuse family members in the hopes that this sort of writing might pierce the veil they seem to have trouble seeing through.

 

[Vee Lagrome]

Laura - What is with psychologists who mix up PTSD and bipolar? I have met enough people who are bipolar to know that they do not experience the same symptoms that we do... I think it's laziness or something!
Yeah, my psychiatrist is great too. I think he is just fantastic and I really feel like I can tell him the concerns I'm having about my medication and the like. I personally think it's good to have the therapist and the psychiatrist both since the therapist can help you with more of the non-medication approaches to coping with stress. The therapist I have now has really boosted my confidence in therapists as a whole, since I had been convinced that all therapists were basically not trained to deal with PTSD. But after seeing someone who is highly trained and very knowledgeable about what I'm going through, I think it's really great. Hopefully you'll find whatever works for you, but it sounds like to me you would definitely benefit from finding a therapist who specializes in PTSD and other anxiety disorders.

Anni - Haha! I know it's obnoxious to be sending out these articles, but it's like our loved ones give us no other choice. If they just had some more sense when it came to dealing with the symptoms, then we wouldn't get so frustrated that we need to send the dang articles! I definitely think the lay person articles are the best, since most of my family is in construction and law enforcement, thus they do not know much about disorders and diseases. Lol. I've already told them to go to this forum and read the articles! Haha!

 

[anni]

SO funny! I seriously thought I had to be the only person who did that! I don't actually tell anyone except my husband to come here. There are some who I just plain do not wish to have following me around, which is what they would do if they came here, instead of coming to be informed and understand PTSD. At this point none of those care enough, quite honestly ( and with zero bile on my part saying this- not resentful, it's just what is ) to actively look for the forum. A couple would have a field day, and 'care' the other way. I already gave up my Facebook account due to every word and gesture being scrutinzed, then mostly somehow 'used' against me in some family power thing. If something I say here shows up in a swarmy conversation within the family at any time, someone's getting a wedgie!

 

[Tinyflame]

Lol, am glad you're 'here', anni.
You are perfectly sweet and beautiful just as you are. Maybe they're looking for your 'secret' to being so sweet?

 

[Vee Lagrome]

SO funny! I seriously thought I had to be the only person who did that! I don't actually tell anyone except my husband to come here. There are some who I just plain do not wish to have following me around, which is what they would do if they came here, instead of coming to be informed and understand PTSD. At this point none of those care enough, quite honestly ( and with zero bile on my part saying this- not resentful, it's just what is ) to actively look for the forum. A couple would have a field day, and 'care' the other way. I already gave up my Facebook account due to every word and gesture being scrutinzed, then mostly somehow 'used' against me in some family power thing. If something I say here shows up in a swarmy conversation within the family at any time, someone's getting a wedgie!

WOW... well, given what you said about your in-laws, I totally believe this! Lol. I think Junebug has a point, they're insanely jealous of something and want to find your secret. Hahaha :D

 

[anni]

That's awfully kind! Thank you! I don't know about sweet, just never learned to engage in all that girly stuff on the playground, remember that? Some stayed and figured it all out, I ran like a bunny. I'm still pretty quick for 53, too. :)

 

[BloomInWinter]

((((anni))))

 

[Vee Lagrome]

That's awfully kind! Thank you! I don't know about sweet, just never learned to engage in all that girly stuff on the playground, remember that? Some stayed and figured it all out, I ran like a bunny. I'm still pretty quick for 53, too. :)

That's it, then! They want to steal your secret to being quick and witty like you! LOL

 

[DianeP]

Laura - What is with psychologists who mix up PTSD and bipolar? I have met enough people who are bipolar to know that they do not experience the same symptoms that we do... I think it's laziness or something!
Yeah, my psychiatrist is great too. I think he is just fantastic and I really feel like I can tell him the concerns I'm having about my medication and the like. I personally think it's good to have the therapist and the psychiatrist both since the therapist can help you with more of the non-medication approaches to coping with stress. The therapist I have now has really boosted my confidence in therapists as a whole, since I had been convinced that all therapists were basically not trained to deal with PTSD. But after seeing someone who is highly trained and very knowledgeable about what I'm going through, I think it's really great. Hopefully you'll find whatever works for you, but it sounds like to me you would definitely benefit from finding a therapist who specializes in PTSD and other anxiety disorders.

Hi Vee,

Sorry it has taken so long to reply. I was just having a set back from all the news stories of the 11 year old North of Houston and what happened to her. This is the reason I try to only watch the weather channel and not the news. Now I am following up on friends in Japan.

I totally agree with you about them just being lazy or something! She was a psychiatrist in San Diego, CA North East of MCAS Miramar. Her name is Dr Song or Dr Sung. She did not really talk to us she just read what the LCSW, LMFT from MCAS Miramar has said about how I was feeling and then said ok ended the session and gave me the prescription. Then I saw her in the hospital which I do not remember well. I really do not remember much of those two or three weeks; my husband did till his brain surgery. Now it's a fuzz memory for him, too. We saw her 6 more times for free. She would not let us pay her and she paid all the doctor bills from the hospital. She did not want us to go through the military insurance.

After 7 weeks she said I did not need a Psychiatrist that I needed a Psychologist that specialized in PTSD. She said I could not be near my mother or sister. She told me my mother had to move out of our house and could never live with us again. She also said I had to have limited contact with my sister. I wish I would have listened to her in that matter! That was the 1st time I had ever heard of PTSD; that were 20 years ago. I have had therapist (mostly military) tell me I was bipolar or that I had some form of personality disorder. Now I tell them they are/were crazy and this is why they are a therapist and not psychiatrist. I have only had 3 Psychiatrist over the last 20 years. The one I am seeing now truly understands me and has years and years of dealing with patients with PTSD. He has me on a small dose of Zoloft; it is really helping me. It is strange I never thought I could see a male doctor of any kind. I think it helps that he looks a little like my brother. I still have set backs and I am still doing a lot of work. I am on here a lot reading and trying to understand my triggers more. With his help I feel stronger then I have ever felt in my life and it feels great!!!!!! :D

 

[AzureMind]

Wow Vee....yea, that can really make a person feel alone in a marriage....I would think during the getting-to-know-you process of dating that would happen what with getting to know your partner and all, but after 6 years of marriage...yea, that can suck HARD, and my heart goes out to you.

Sometimes getting people who aren't affected with PTSD to understand how it feels is a COMPLETELY alien experience because what we experienced was something completely alien and abnormal. Have you asked him WHY he only half-does the exercises? Reads the material?
The direct approach is usually the best method for getting a persons attention, and answers which is probably why he only really takes the initiative when you "blow up" like you said. I suggest directly going to him and letting him know how you feel. I also know that given the nature of your condition and how it's cemented a "stoic" disposition in you, are you willing to bend just a bit to let him "fully" in? Have you asked him if he feels as if he's in this with you? like a team player in your marriage? I know EXACTLY how you feel in response to keeping that "stoic" disposition about you even when you're in complete pain: unfortunately at times, a partner can feel left out when you give them that "cold stoic shoulder" by being "impenetrable" you don't give much room to your partner to give aid or support of any kind.....maybe he believes you have it all under control and don't need him?

One things for sure, if you're going to him and asking him for support and he's not giving it, even in spite of your desire to make it work, then you should consider asking him if he's "invested in this marriage at all?" and letting it go. I hope it doesn't come to that for you Vee, but a man who is "emotionally unavailable " isn't a man you should be interested in....a person who doesn't take your condition to heart when you are in NEED of assistance, doesn't seem like a great guy to keep around. Keep plugging away at it Vee, we hear ya, so just speak up if you need anything, ;)