Experience on Dating Site for Disabled, Including Mentally

[Ron32]

*All names in the post are made-up.
It is not an encouragement post for not dating disabled people.

About a decade ago, I registered at a dating site for people with disabilities. There were not many options to choose, but one women by a nickname of “Sofia Cobra”, later stating her surname is Melnik sent me a private message with three question marks. I was really searching for a mate for life or simply a friend so I acted as a normal person would act and answered her. The next message I received from her was something like: don’t answer three question marks, three question marks don’t get answered. It was very weird for me to receive so strange message but I continued to chat with that woman and even met her in person few times.

Ultimately she was starting hallucinating that I proposed her marriage because of an image she saw I posted on facebook. She was mentally ill. Next thing, she said that we are married and there was even a wedding and the person who conducts marriages. She didn’t know me and I did not speak about romantic relationship with her or wedding. There could not be a marriage between us, ever. Not then and not now. She was harassing me a long time afterwards and still is. It was so weird for me and I made conclusions.

Do not, ever, register to a dating site that does not filter out potentially dangerous or dangerous people, who are mentally ill and may harm themselves or you.

 

[ags1]

I don't think any dating website filters out dangerous people! Sadly delusions and obsessions about love and relationships are so common, even in nondisabled, mentally "healthy" people.

So sorry you are going through this.

 

[Movingforward10]

I don't think any website does, never mind dating websites.

 

[Ecdysis]

How could a website filter out dangerous people? They can just lie about whatever and seem non-dangerous.

Anyway, welcome to a forum where 100% of the users are mentally ill...

 

[bluebinstein]

I think rather than that all or nothing thinking, which is a type of thinking that keeps us sick, you could practice some internet safety instead. And learn to let suspicious things go. This is an important practice I have found for coping with CPTSD.
Think if you were in public. Would you even acknowledge someone this mentally ill. I've had plenty of males who are severely mentally ill approach me in a similar aspect. Attachment instantly formed. One guy even followed me on a bus and there was no one to intervein or that would. I should have sent him home with a note now that I think of it..
And online it's even better because YOU have to engage to get a response like this. Simply disengage and walk away. Its so easy online with that block button.
And if you apply this technique to your every day life, the act of letting go, you're almost guaranteed to stop hitting your head against a wall. I still do sometimes, but I catch myself and that's what counts.
I could write a book on all or nothing thinking. It is an extreme form of chemical response to external stimuli. You often find in many mental illnesses. This is why we often find other labels before we realize it's been CPTSD all along.
You wouldn't believe how much chemical responses happen just by the gut signals. Check out the microbiome. I had so much relief from symptoms when I started removing triggers from my environment. You got gut, and skin. And they tell the brain how to act. This is why so much chronic illness is associated with CPTSD because the repeated cycles that keep us engaged with our pattern of chemical responses. Yes I know feelings are an electrical response, but I say chemical because it's the hormones that tell the brain to behave that way. Hormones that primarily are released from the gut. And the skin is the first line that begins the whole process. We could even include the eyes and nose, but I don't think modern science is even there yet. Both have their own microbiomes as well. So do the hands and feet. Now look at how much Eastern regions speak of certain points on the body, kinda makes you wonder eh?
sry food for thought for the day haha

 

[Ron32]

One way of inspecting and evaluating users on dating sites is moderating private messages by AI.

 

[Movingforward10]

One way of inspecting and evaluating users on dating sites is moderating private messages by AI.

I would be cautious about relying on AI , or another person, to vet someone I am considering dating.
Where is your internal vetting?
Do you rely on others to tell you if someone is safe or not?
I would go with your gut. You knew from that first interaction it was odd, and yet you continued. Maybe examining that might help you more than wanting dating sites to change.

 

[Ron32]

I would be cautious about relying on AI , or another person, to vet someone I am considering dating.

I did not specify moderating only by AI.

For an example: AI could find potential dangerous content and shift case to a human moderator. It's a start but not a whole solution. 100% sterilization against dangers in dating apps and sites will not be achieved.

I think rather than that all or nothing thinking, which is a type of thinking that keeps us sick, you could practice some internet safety instead. And learn to let suspicious things go. This is an important practice I have found for coping with CPTSD.

Not all or nothing, but something better than nothing.

 

[Movingforward10]

100% sterilization against dangers in dating apps and sites will not be achieved.

Exactly, which is why you need to work out if you are seeing red flags or not.

 

[Ron32]

Exactly, which is why you need to work out if you are seeing red flags or not.

I believe we are in a proper technological state to be capable.

 

[Movingforward10]

I believe we are in a proper technological state to be capable.

You think the internet can be made safe?

 

[Ron32]

How could a website filter out dangerous people? They can just lie about whatever and seem non-dangerous.

Anyway, welcome to a forum where 100% of the users are mentally ill...

Some will lie. Some will not get caugh, but some will be caught. We must try, even for a little bit of an advantage against what's described in the main post. It's worth it.

Even though I partly disagree with your opinion, thanks for welcoming.