Can Ptsd Make Us Dumb?

[karissa]

I agree with what Ted said. I know something I do or buy is stupid but it is kind of a distraction...distraction from ptsd symptoms or thoughts. Buying something new and then later I regret it because I can't afford it. It could also be a form of self harm-punishment if you think about it. You buy the disc, knowing it might be a scam and won't work. you know your brother will be a jerk if you tell him. Yet you do both of these things.

 

[freakofnurture]

Thankyou for this insight freakofnurture, I think it's spot on.

I'm glad I could be helpful there :)

I think I've been in denial this whole time. I thought I was healthy?:confused:

That you haven't overcome those behavioral patterns completely doesn't mean you're failing. There's a long, gradual change going from 'very sick' to '100% healthy', and even if you're still not quite as well as you thought, you have come a long way.
As I mentioned before somewhere, I admire you for the great changes you have already made. You're going into the perfectly right direction, I think. Keep going :)

 

[Philippa]

Thanks, that was re-assuring, which I needed. It's important to remind myself of how far I've come...and I don't always make time for it.

 

[Philippa]

I agree with what Ted said. I know something I do or buy is stupid but it is kind of a distraction...distraction from ptsd symptoms or thoughts. Buying something new and then later I regret it because I can't afford it. It could also be a form of self harm-punishment if you think about it. You buy the disc, knowing it might be a scam and won't work. you know your brother will be a jerk if you tell him. Yet you do both of these things.

Yeah...I just wish I was more aware at the time, of these impulses, and the thoughts that lead to them, before I go doing stupid stuff like this and making myself look like a joke to harsh people, instead of looking at it "all in hindsight".

It makes me wonder if a part of me thinks that I am a joke? I've had other times where I have accused my ex of thinking this about me, but maybe it was really me thinking this about me? Hmmm...

 

[Heather]

I definitely feel like my I.Q. has dropped at least 20 - 30 points especially within the last year! It is AWFUL!!!! I feel like an idiot. Can't remember sh*t, keep doing really dumb things, can't understand what people are saying to me (which is really embarrassing). Hell, I can't even do Nicole's Math h.w. and she's in the 1st grade!

So, it's not you IT"S DEFINITELY THE PTSD. Well,at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it;)

 

[Philippa]

I definitely feel like my I.Q. has dropped at least 20 - 30 points especially within the last year! It is AWFUL!!!! I feel like an idiot. Can't remember sh*t, keep doing really dumb things, can't understand what people are saying to me (which is really embarrassing). Hell, I can't even do Nicole's Math h.w. and she's in the 1st grade!

So, it's not you IT"S DEFINITELY THE PTSD. Well,at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it;)

hhehee...it's really hard to know if it's ptsd or just getting older. I also can't totally neglect to blame the drugs I took in my youth for maybe catching up with me now, but yeah, I like to blame ptsd, just because...:D

I have the same trouble though, remembering things, understanding what people are telling me. I must just be bullshitting my way through life, at least at work I know i do. I'm pretty sure my supervisor thinks I'm a total moron...but she thinks everyone is a moron, so...it wouldn't matter much what I did, she'd find a way to make me a moron.

It's very frustrating though, that's for sure. At least we're not alone in our descent into idiocy:roflmao:

 

[karissa]

This is where DBT comes into play. One of the skills is to recognize your feelings, emotions, or warning signs that usually occur before behaviors. So when you are about to do something, think about the feeling or emotion you are having before you do the action. Is it impulsive? Once you start doing that it will become innate. When someone on the other forum or in real life bothers you for some reason, think of the emotion. Is it negative or positive? Angry, sad, happy, jealous, whatever. Stop, recognize the emotion. If it is negative and your impulse is an action that may cause someone to be mad at you or abuse you...THINK about it first. "Sit" with the emotion and feel it. What message is it sending you?. Are you going to regret it later (will result in guilt...another emotion)? Most of the time, the answer will be yes, you will regret it and feel guilty. You may not feel the guilt because you are not clearly thinking. You may be trained in your head that all you are used to is negative emotions or feelings. You don't want to experience happiness because it might be too overwhelming for you to feel.
Sometimes, when I feel like something someone is doing is unjust, I will have the impulse to say it even though it will come out as rude. But DBT taught me to recognize that I may be feeling jealousy that another person would do such things and I want to correct it. Instead of being impulsive and ruin the relationship, interpersonal effectiveness (DBT) will help you save the relationship while helping you get your point across to the person. You will get your needs met and you won't feel guilty later by realizing you ruined another relationship. And then there are the times that you just have to let things go. You can't change people. You can only change yourself.
I highly recommend DBT if you haven't tried it already. I hope I made sense. It's kind of hard to explain DBT and impulse control and self punishment.

 

[Philippa]

It makes perfect sense. Thankyou.

 

[karissa]

anytime :)

 

[Kintsugi]

... Later I regret it because I can't afford it. It could also be a form of self harm-punishment if you think about it. You buy the disc, knowing it might be a scam and won't work. you know your brother will be a jerk if you tell him. Yet you do both of these things.

I know just this behavior. Often I indulge in something too much knowing that it will effect me negatively later, but I do it anyway, even though I can already sense regret.

I also suffer stupid seizures and attack my partner or provoke him for no reason other than to hurt myself sometimes. : (

 

[Philippa]

Glad I'm not the only one.

I have also found that when I am really hurting, I seem to get into arguments with people where they say things that are hurtful, which compounds my pain. It's like the more I am hurting, the more I attract more of it, even if it is already unbearable at the time and I just want it to stop.

Am I just masochistic or what?

 

[Philippa]

This is more of a vent, but I am just starting to feel the effects of the other day with my brother. We've already established that I had a 'stupid seizure'. He also brought up things from my past that I did, bad things...and he did it to humiliate me and make me feel bad in front of his friend. My other brother also does things like this, and my father...it's like a genetic trait on the male side of my family to try and humiliate the women they 'love' supposedly.

It was three days ago now, so why am I having such a delayed reaction to this? It's obvious that he thinks I am an idiot, and every time I am around him, I act like one. I feel humiliated and stupid for putting myself in his company. I feel punished...which was the point I guess.

Why does he have to be such a jerk? The whole reason I've been so mad at my father, apart from his behavior towards me, is because I know he did something to my little brother...and now, my 'little' brother isn't little, he's big and he's mean, and he hasn't supported me in the way that I needed support, so why am I even bothering with him...apart from getting my dose of punishment whenever I get the impulse to be treated like shit?

He said sorry and I think he meant it, so that's something. I'm just rambling now...don't mind me.