Mothers Day Blues

[Nighthawk]

Before I really begin or get into this post I would first like to say I am grateful for every moment II spend with my daughter. She is kind, sweet, loving and rather thoughtful. That being said I wanted to put this out there.
Happy Mother’s day and the grief or mourning it brings me. I have a narcissistic, abusive parent. How on earth do you find a mother’s day card to say what comes in my head.
Card....
Dear Mom,
Thank you for bringing me in this world verbally abusing me and neglecting me to this day, Thank you for letting your sleezy boyfriend put his hands down my shirt and not breaking up with him. Thank you for leaving me alone without any money and without telling me, in a new country at the age of 12. Thank you for your lack of support emotionally throughout my growth. Thank you for all the pain and messages you have left in my head to fester on a regular basis.
Your fuc-ed up daughter
NH.

Mothers daay brings pain to me to the loss of something I have never had. I wish I could just get over it and move on. I wanted to hide, I wanted to scream and I sure as hell wanted to cry. This is just a bit of what i would want the card to say but they just don't make cards like that.:(

NH

 

[ronin47]

I have the exact same problem, only with my father. Last year when I was working in a gift shop for the summer, the radio was on most of the time and at one point I went and turned it off because they commercials kept talking about Father's day events and gifts and it just got too depressing for me.

I hope you're feeling better today. Just remember, you were powerless as a child and powerless over what your mother did to you, but you have power now and you can decide that your mother is not worth your emotional energy.

 

[Muzikluvr]

Card...

Dear Mom,

It IS your fault. It is ALL your fault.

Love,
Your traumatized daughter.

P.S. Make a copy of this for grandma.

 

[Heather]

Happy Mother’s day and the grief or mourning it brings me. I have a narcissistic, abusive parent.

OH Nighthawlk - How I feel your pain! OUCH! My mother is the exact same way!!! It hurts soo bad:cry::cry:. My birthday was on the the 5th. and she didn't even call me:(. I saw her a few days before that and she kept saying, "I have something to do on MAY 5TH. I know I have something to do on MAY 5TH." She kept repeating it over and over. I didn't engage her.....SO NOT WORTH IT. But she knew exactly what she was doing, IDIOT!

Then my birthday comes....NO phone call. NO card. NOTHING!

I feel like she hates me. I cried for 2 days because of that. I can't have her in my life anymore it's just too painful. I had to go back to the hospital to have additional tests 'cause they thought I was having complications from my surgery. I really was feeling pretty awful. I asked my mom if she could bring me some things the next day at the hospital in case they had to admit me. She said, "no and told me to pack a bag and take it with me". She is the most unhelpful person on the planet. I felt like total shit and I was having trouble breathing, it was pretty much an emergency situation and any time I ask her for help..... she asks like it's a huge f*cking inconvenience! I just told her to forget it and I'd do it myself.

On Mother's day.... I spent it with my daughter:). She gave me a card that she made in school. It said I LOVE YOU MOM. Happy Birthday. With 2 cats on the inside with big smiles on their faces. It was the best present ever.

I did NOT call my mother and have not spoken to her since.

 

[Nighthawk]

I understand. Until mothers day it hd been 6 weeks since I had spoken to her and now she thinks the door has been opened talk about BS.

NH

 

[Heather]

talk about BS.

Absolutely! Couldn't haven't summed it up better myself.

HUGS. Heather