F*ck mother's day

[dearcastle]

My mother has NPD. She isn't diagnosed, but I've described her behavior in detail to multiple psychiatrists, therapists for specialize in complex trauma, and other people with CPTSD who I met in the hospital. They all agree my mother has NPD. Her mother had it, so it isn't that surprising. Like most people with NPD, there's zero chance she'll ever get an official diagnosis. She's triangulated me and my 2 sisters since we were born. She also triangulated us with our father our whole lives. Frankly, it sucks. My roommate made me read the card she wrote for her mother this morning and a couple minutes after, she realized how f*cked up that was because she came into the living room and I was crying. I don't talk to anyone in my "family" anymore, they all suck. I was in the hospital for a long time last year and none of them cared. The last time I spoke to my mother she started telling me how much she weighed, even though I've been in eating disorder recovery since 2022. I couldn't take it anymore and I blocked her after that phone call which was in March 2023. Occasionally she sends me postcards from trips to Europe that she takes with my dad. They go to Europe 2 or 3 times a year, but they can't be bothered to check on their kid whose been hospitalized. Mother's day, my birthday, and Christmas are the hardest days of the year for me. So many people have issues with their mothers. Why does this holiday even exist.

 

[Rose White]

Nice job blocking her. It’s probably good she doesn’t check up on you because she’ll just make it about herself, yeah? Sorry you’re feeling so upset. The more you can distance yourself the better.

 

[Movingforward10]

I think my mum is too. Blocked her too.

Mother’s Day doesn’t affect me as I have changed what it means in my head. A commercial nonsense day. Take the heat out of it in terms of how you hold it,

working On accepting she is who she is. Working through that anger of what you never had and never will have in a mother.

it really sucks. M dad died recently, and had I not gone up to my mum at the funeral: she wouldn’t have spoken to me. No need right? When she’s got all the attention from everyone at the funeral. She has made his death all about her. Her children can’t grieve and she can’t allow us too as it means she doesn’t get all the attention. Hateful stuff this NPD.
but sad too. I’m sad for her that she is unable to function like a normal human . She misses out on so much.

as does your mum. She misses out on the wonder of you.

 

[Joey Bones]

I've been NC with my mom 25 years or so. Right about the time I started seeing how easily she could deceive and manipulate my young toddlers. That was me years ago.

She still kept in contact, moving about a block from me, befriending those she met that knew me, finding our phone numbers and mostly leaving voice mails. It wasn't that bad I rarely checked my home phone voice mail and could easily just hit delete.

Then we moved. No home phone. It must have been the reason somehow she started texting me. I replied once (all she wants is a response, the message isn't a thing to her) I said please stop you're going to go to jail again. She's blocked on my phone but knows ways around it.

I'm thinking you ruined my life, held me hostage as a teen when I repeatedly tried to escape. Totally messed my mind up. Now my kids are grown and you still can't leave me alone...

I've been just deleting texts as they come in. I could go legal and give her the attention and platform she is starving for too.

Lately realized she's very likely online for support groups of estranged parents, consists of some people like her. She's getting support and reinforcement to haunt me. On a bad day I don't take it well.


One recent message said that I'll never be able to ESCAPE her love for me. Escape. I can't say online the images I've had but she threw out a good piece of bait and I didn't respond. Good for me.

I never looked at her in quite the same way lately, but my mom is a real life monster. She still comes for me like the reaper. Maybe evil and sickness go hand in hand sometimes.... she had her chances. Plenty. Gradual warnings and boundaries and consequences were spelled out to her. She laughed uncontrollably when I got serious. She really did find it funny. My mother is a monster.

I haven't gotten any texts lately who knows why maybe it has something to do with mothers day.

When they were married my dad was her target. When she left with my brother and me I was her target. She at times turned them against me. We were in denial, we didn't know. My brother was never a target. He broke down once when I was in rehab so she must have started on him within 6 weeks.

My brother's experience growing up was not the same as mine. And he's better because of it. I gradually put things together and explained it all to both my brother and father.

My dad I just don't get. He didn't save us. He married her. She probably got pregnant so they'd have to marry it just seems like what she'd do....

Yeah Mother's day DOES suck but hopefully we're in or moving to a better spot. I gave my wife a mother's day card. She's the best mom ever. I tell her out of all the mistakes I made in life, I picked the best mom for my kids. I guess I caught a break, just got lucky on that one.

But early on I knew what the signs of a bad marriage were and vowed my kids would have it better. It's really been amazing to see how well young people can do when they're given the chance....