What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[goingonhope]

spine/neck pain, stabbing pains and headache, alone, lonely, hurt, confused, grief

 

[Sandra]

Tried out and sore from all this running around I had to do today.

 

[ms spock]

I DID IT!!!!!!:D First long journey in over 20 years!!:tup:

Yea me!!!!!

AWESOME! Yay You!

 

[ms spock]

I start my new job in 1 hour 10 mins and I am still sat in my dressing gown and haven't had breakfast. I feel my get up and go has got up and gone, except without me.

Oh my goodness! I so relate this to today.

*thinks about going off to get her binoculars to start looking for her get up and go, stays seated*

 

[ms spock]

I feel

lost
alone
desparate
needy
sleepy
tired
wanting to engage in avoidance behaviours like sleeping, disassociation, zone out on television, napping (oh did I mention I am wanting to sleep?)
weary
overwhelmed by the mice
overwhelmed by the state of my home
overwhelmed by the study I need to do
overwhelmed by what I need to do
to overwhelmed to go for a walk (at this stage)

 

[LawPhotos]

Had a horrible flashback this afternoon. I never saw it coming. It was one of my worst ever. Seemed like it lasted forever---I tried everything to get out of it but nothing worked. Afterwards it took me a good 4 hours to get even moderately grounded. I journaled about it and know I should share it with my therapist but it was a flashback to something we haven't discussed but she definitely suspects. I am really not ready to go down this road with her. I already have way, way too much on my plate to deal with.
I wonder if I am vulnerable to worse flashbacks these days since last Monday was the 1 year anniversary of my father's death (unrelated to my trauma) and the day after tomorrow is his birthday.:( This has been a VERY difficult week.
Now I am so on edge and dreading go in my bedroom again (where I had the flashback). My daughter walked across the hardwood floor and it made a little "creak"....I had to scrape myself off of the ceiling:mad:

 

[ms spock]

Yes anniversaries do play a major part in the cycling of my flashbacks, emotions, depression and nightmares.

 

[Sandra]

I'm feeling sad today. I'm missing my friends. :(

 

[Sandra]

Have you tried, manuka oil, manuka honey or tea tree oil? They are natural antibiotics. Kill MRSA

No I haven't tried anything like that yet. Thanks for the info. :)

 

[Queen Boudica]

Despair, Bury myself to hide from the fear and the terror and the horror of me. I'm not brave and I can't do it. Just want to bury myself.

He crouched ever lower, ever lower with fear.
"they can’t let me die! they can’t let me die here!
I’ll cover myself with the mud and the earth.
I’ll cover myself! I know I’m not brave!
The earth! the earth! the earth is my grave."

 

[Sandra]

Big hugs to you Lizio. I sure could use one today too.

 

[Queen Boudica]

(((((((((((((((((Sandra)))))))))))))))))))))