My Ability To Have A Relationship Is Gone. My Perspectives On Relationships Is Horrible.

[PerfectlyFlawed]

Relationships are just too much energy for me and I end up numbing out and pushing people away.

I used to desire to be serious with someone, but it is gone. I guess my perspective has changed due to PTSD.

Has PTSD changed your perspective and/or personality?!

-PerfectlyFlaweD.

 

[VDWngr1355]

I push everyone away and at times I don't even realize I do it and other times I pick up on it. Anytime of relationship for me is hard to manage whether it be family, friends, or co-workers. It is very tiring.

 

[Iwanttolovehim]

My biggest issue with relationships is that I always think that no one wants someone "crazy" like me! The thing is ... over the years I have realized that I'm not so crazy, a lot of people are the same as I am... i think once you have overcome your issues with yourself thats when you can truly dedicate to a relationship

 

[maddog]

I could never have imagined how difficult it would become to be involved in any sort of relationship. Thesedays I am finding human contact almost intolerable, not because I have any inherent problem with anyone else, but because the whole ability to sustain and maintain all of those social norms and customs suddenly requires more energy and ability than I have.

Honestly, just being around people overwhelms me right now to a point at which I need to escape, and I don't know why.

Needless to say I'm doing a good job of neglecting all of my friendships to death... and I do care, but don't seem to be able to do a thing about it.

Maddog

 

[Sterre]

Needless to say I'm doing a good job of neglecting all of my friendships to death... and I do care, but don't seem to be able to do a thing about it.

Maddog

I experience the same as you do maddog, and I sended an e-mail to a few ( 4) of my closest friends, explaning to them that I could not stand regular contact now. That is has nothing to do with them, thats it is nothing personal, and that I would hate it to loose them. That although it may seem that I didnt care for the friendship, but that it was not the truth. I wrote them I deeply cared about them but could not maintain friendship right now.

The responses I got where mostly very understanding and warm.

They know I will reach out again.

 

[simplekindofgirl]

...the whole ability to sustain and maintain all of those social norms and customs suddenly requires more energy and ability than I have.

That is the perfect description for me, right there.

Has PTSD changed your perspective and/or personality?!

It changed everything long before I even knew that I was suffering from it.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Well, I wouldn't really know as I was traumatized at such a young age...

But I ASSUME my relationship issues are due to the trauma.

I push everyone away. If you're in my life, I'll kick you out at some point.

Both of the guys I'm "talking" to at this point have been pushed away. One of them multiple times. The one guy understands as he's got PTSD, too. The other guy, well, let's just say that I'm shocked that he hasn't said "enough!" yet. He knows I have PTSD, but as with anyone who doesn't have it themselves, doesn't fully understand. So, I carry on, telling myself that I need to act "normal" from here on out...

 

[Srain]

What Maddog, Sterre and Simplekindofgirl said.

It takes work and right now is a major struggle.

 

[Heather]

Sterre - I think it is awesome that you were able to communicate to your friends that you need space right now. Kuddos to you.

 

[simplekindofgirl]

Do any of you bounce back and forth on this?

Feeling one day like- I can do this, this is working, I am able to maintain this relationship. and for whatever reason, be it a trigger or just circumstances, or the wind changes directions and suddenly you are so strapped to your symptoms that you feel yourself instantaneously doing a 180 and thinking- "what was I thinking? I cannot do this!"?

And you are miserable staying so you decide to leave, and you are miserable leaving so you decide to stay? and you are miserable because no matter what you do, you are still miserable?

 

[Meadowsweet]

I don't have any close relationships. But I would like to, and to be at ease with friends on a regular basis, would, for me, be a positive sign of healing.

I think, if I were to become closer to people, they would need to understand PTSD, so they could accept me without trying to read my mind.

 

[Srain]

Do any of you bounce back and forth on this?

OMG, ALL the time!!

I'm having to work on this because I can just as quickly become a stranger to those I love as I can became highlighted and animated! It's a roller coaster with the flashbacks and triggers dictating my openness and ability to be available, this is what I'm working on right now in therapy. Finding and understanding the origins is key for me.