Alcohol

[Kramer]

How do you all find alcohol affects you?
For me, when I drink,I tend to suffer terribly with guilt and shame the next day. Because my main trauma involved alcohol. I'm curious about how it affects the rest of you.

 

[Mad Hatter]

I drank because it was an easy way to forget; I drank too much and couldn't stop.

One year ago I quit drinking, because I couldn't drink in moderation. Quitting was probably the best thing I could have done.

 

[Kramer]

Yeah...I think maybe I quit drinking this weekend too. I completely suck at it lol

 

[Anna]

I like my drink, but I know my limits, most of the time.

I find having a nightcap helps me to sleep.

If though, I go over my limit. Then it makes me remember all the stuff, and then I can become a hysterical mess of emotional dung. So I have to really know my limits.

 

[Kramer]

I'm not sure I have limits w alcohol. Alcohol and I have an extremely dysfunctional relationship. He is fickle,blustering and unreliable lol

 

[SimplyComplex]

Alcohol is my personal favorite way of not feeling my feelings...closely followed by food :(

I feel really guilty too though. Maybe just "mom guilt".

 

[Kramer]

Definitely "Mom Guilt" over here!!!!!

 

[Gamereign555]

I feel sometimes that alcohol will make me anxious if I'm not careful. I try not to drink just because I feel like crap, so that only leaves healthy gatherings and occasions where there is going to be alcohol. This can be okay for me but I always know that there is some payback the next morning, which in itself is an unhealthy stress. I try to moderate and also choose if I should drink at all.

 

[Gamereign555]

Honestly I think alcohol inhibits and also adds to the effects of other medications I take. I have an urge to drink almost everyday. Today I went to the store with the intent to buy beer. I thought in my head about how bad it makes me feel and how it effects others in my life and I began to wonder why I would still want it. Then I changed my mind and got a fountain drink and went home, alcohol free. I can do this one step at a time I think, I don't want something that hurts my ability to heal and stay healthy anymore.

 

[Conrad Weiler 3rd]

I was diagnosed about 19 years too late, I became a total alocholic, it nearly killed me many times in the last few years. I have been fighting to stop and in the past year had only a few slips.

I do take benzo's, I am aware of the addiction and now that I know why I was drinking I can handle these meds with respect and I can guarantee I am trying to never have a drink again, even though it has come at great cost to my social life. I have realized my personal and mental well being should always come first.

I credit my doctor and therapist with saving my life. 12 steps not for me they don't treat the reason why you drink in the first place. Stay strong and know you always have the choice to get back up and try again and again and again if necessary!

<Edited for grammar and paragraph breaks inserted.>

 

[littlebird]

For a few days after drinking alcohol i'm in a mess because It triggers of my symptoms. The morning after, I start of with the anxiety and palpatations and then when the night time comes, I go into hypervigilent mode.

My therapist explained to me that the alcohol dehydrates and that's what causes the palpatations and anxiety, and then of course the anxiety and palps trigger me off because that's how I always used to feel as a child, so it makes sense to me.

He said that if I avoided the hangover then I would avoid the triggering, so now I have changed what I drink and how i'm drinking it and I make sure that I have 2 pints of water before I go to sleep (3 if I drink it) and I take alka seltzer in the morning and it does improve the after effects for me.

Just to say that my drinking stopped when I was in therapy (hurrah!) but that's because I'm not supressing anything anymore or running away from my feelings. The only time I drink now is when I'm using it as 'prop' when I go out socially and that only ever happens once in a blue moon as I still spend most of my time alone. When i was drinking I was in a terrble mess, now I use it much more sensibly, but that's mainly because I don't want to risk being triggered so badly.

Alcohol really isn't a friend of mine.

 

[Belle]

Alcohol is just about going out and dancing and escaping for me. Laughing at how life turns out. Just being like a child and free. Dancing with my girlfriends and singing and talking about pain - sisterhood. I feel safe.

So for me alcohol is being free to express me.

But if I smell it on a man it freaks me out because the guy who raped me smelt of alcohol constantly. So unless I have my girls and gay friends to dance with I won't go out and drink.

I am not happy if I drink alone at home in secret. It has to be social and not very often so I am in control of it.