Needing Words Of Wisdom...

[Kaii]

Just looking for input from this forum of very insightful members....

I have been wondering if taking some form of self defense would help me with my anxiety of being out in public with strangers?

Over the past year, I probably only leave the house once a week (only with two dogs in tow) and some weeks I don't leave the house at all.

Although my PTSD is due to finding a murdered girl in the woods, I personally have been physically attacked and sexually assaulted when I was a teenager and have always been afraid of men since that time. Now with the PTSD, I am paranoid, hyper vigilant, suspicious and plain terrified if a strange man so much as looks my way.

I have always felt since that incident when I was younger that I couldn't protect myself. The poor girl we found couldn't protect herself either. I guess subconsciously I am afraid that what happened to her could happen to me.

I wonder if learning martial arts would help me? Of course then that means I would have to leave the house and I bet you dollars to doughnuts that the class would be full of men and taught by a man :(. Do you think if I told them about my PTSD beforehand that would help or should I just keep that info to myself?

I have already called around my city and there are no women only self defense classes offered anywhere.

My boyfriend thinks that learning a martial art would be giving me a FALSE sense of security because learning forms and sparring is not the same as being taken by surprise and assaulted.

What do you guys think?

I just want to feel safe, like I can help myself if something ever happens to me again.

 

[sea]

Have you ever looked at something like http://www.rad-systems.com/ ?

Or you can call your local police department and find out if they offer any courses in the same vein. Usually victim's services can point you in the direction of something like that. I think that knowing a martial art or knowing basic self defense is something everyone should have regardless of trauma background considering the danger of the world today.

Something like RAD or Krav Maga Civilian is useful because they teach using real life scenarios. RAD is helpful because it caters to women specifically designed to fight off a bigger, stronger attacker - and most of the other women in the course have likely been raped or exposed to rape, and many have PTSD. The course is geared toward that and most instructors know about PTSD - so it shouldn't be that awkward to inform them.

 

[ronin47]

Honestly I would encourage you to take self defense/martial arts class if only for the fact that it is excellent exercise and exercise is a fantastic tool for reducing anxiety of any and all sorts. It also is very empowering, it gives you that "pumped up" feeling. I have no doubt that exercise makes my mind work better in every respect. Martial arts is particularly good for reducing stress and tension because it requires you to engage all parts of the body and works twitch muscles as well as stabilizors. I know if I ever went into kung fu class with a sore back any aches and pains would be gone by the time I was done.

 

[Kaii]

I had never heard of that program before, so I checked it out. While it is offered in my country, it is not offered in my province or any province that is closer than 10 hrs driving time. It looked like something that would be helpful though.

I will call my local RCMP station tomorrow. That is a good idea, thanks sea!

 

[Kaii]

Well, that was completely useless. I called the RCMP detachment and they told me to looke in the yellow pages under "self defense". They said that they don't offer anything and don't know of any programs specifically for women.

Lovely. Thanks for the help :P

 

[simplekindofgirl]

Oh Kaii. I do not know which country you are in. I have found a few different forms of self defense that are available worldwide.

One is Krav Maga. I found this in Germany, from a gentleman in which I am acquainted with from the states- his name is Roy Elghanayan. He is a very nice person, and trustworthy- One of the few people I trust actually. I do not have his information with me here, but I have it in the states and will have access to it on Feb 7th. You can google him if you choose to. He may be able to help you find a location if you decided to look into it.

Kickboxing is also a good one. I have found studios for training just about everywhere. I have no recommendations since I have not participated outside of the states. The disadvantage is that it is kickboxing. You will be stronger and will be able to protect yourself better, it is not really self defense- other than the fact that you can really kick some butt.

Aikido is also great. This form of self defense takes a smaller persons disadvantage and trains them to find their advantage in self defense. Women tend to do very well with this since they are typically of a smaller build. Men usually scoff because it is for "girls"- however, ask any man in martial arts and he will tell you that for straight up self defense of a small-ish person, aikido is the way to go.

I do not know if this helps any, but I hope that it at least gives you some things to consider.

 

[Zipperhead]

The RCMP does have a victim services unit at eack Division. As your last call was less then helpful, I have to assume that wasn't the section you were dealing with. Try contacting the victims services section dirrectly and see what they say. Division headquarters are in most Major Urban Centers. They may not be able to help with refering you to a Martial arts program, but there are other programs out there designed to help victims of violence regain their security.

 

[Kaii]

I must say that I am fairly disgusted. I called the RCMP detachment back and spoke with victim services. While they were very sympathetic, they had nothing further to offer me. They said that I was doing all the right things as far as the clinic I attend for counselling but had no programs in place that could help me out. No self defense classes either. They told me to "look in the yellow pages" for martial arts instruction.

I don't live in the backwoods but in a city with 130,000 people. Not huge but not a tiny town either.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I hate that "false sense of security" line!

I don't know any sort of physical defense moves or the like, and I have no issues around men. So I guess I have a false sense of security?!? 'Cuz in reality, they could take me out if they wanted...

So how do you gain a true sense of security? Only by carrying a weapon 24/7?

IMHO whatever empowers you can give you a sense of security. Be damned what anyone else says. It's about YOU.

BUT...

Maybe you don't need a martial arts class. Have you tried pushing yourself to get out in spite of the panic? Yes, I know how terrifying it can be. I was stuck in my apartment for months on end, but I took baby steps. Forcing myself out every day, even if it was just to walk down the street. And it took hours of mental prep before leaving. Flashbacks, panic attacks, crying spells, the whole nine yards. But over time, the anxiety lessened. So perhaps you could start with that if a martial arts class isn't viable at this time?

 

[KP the nut]

I called the RCMP detachment back and spoke with victim services. While they were very sympathetic, they had nothing further to offer me. They said that I was doing all the right things as far as the clinic I attend for counselling but had no programs in place that could help me out. No self defense classes either. They told me to "look in the yellow pages" for martial arts instruction.

but in a city with 130,000 people.

(((Kaii))). As there is nothing available, would it be possible for you to organise event on womens safety and if interest is sufficient, work with others interested to run a program.

I live in a small town (pop 6500), someone organised such an event here, they did charge a small fee, but that fee after paying expenses went to a local charity. It was billed as a charity event and was well supported.

I attended a different event which was sponsored by our local garage. The focus of that was women and safe motoring. I picked up some useful ideas which I still use.

I'm in the UK, and I know there are grants available to help with a community project like this. The police have a grant scheme and would help with organising as well amongst others. My last job was to develop projects like this.

I know it sounds scary if you haven't done anything like this before, but it is quite straight forward. If you decided to do this, I'd be happy to give you some pointers as I'm sure would others here.

 

[simplekindofgirl]

KP- That is a really great idea. In fact, I may use that when I return to the states. Wow, thanks for adding that! Pointers please.... :)

 

[Kaii]

KP, YES, YES, YES!!!

Please message me with details/pointers/ideas. I would love to do something like this. I could even donate the proceeds to the trust fund for the children of the murdered woman that we found. Omg, thank you, thank you!! What a wonderful idea!