Hello to everyone, my name is Kathy. I'm not exactly new to this forum, but I thought it time to introduce myself. Jim is my husband and Evie is my niece. I have been reading on here for several weeks, and it's as if I know many people already. I'm not much of a computer person, but I may want to write here on occasion, and I finally figured out how to sign up for an account, all by myself! A little bit about me then - I am a retired MSW. I worked with troubled youth in a residential setting for 25 years. Prior to that I was an officer in the military where I met my husband. I have four grown sons, five grandchildren, an 18 year old nephew who my husband and I adopted, and my 23 year old niece who for all intents and purposes we have adopted as well. I'm a breast cancer survivor, in remission since 1993. I'm an active member of Al-Anon and the Catholic Women's League. My life is quite plain really, I love my children, I like to garden, cook and bake and spend time with my family. I must admit, I was rather conceited and thought being an MSW and previously working with young people with trauma, I would already know how to help. But I have had a rude awakening in that regard. Being a professional doesn't really prepare one for dealing with a family member with this illness. Therefore, I am delighted this forum exists. Thank you.
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Hello - From "Batgirl's" Aunt
- Post starter Kathy
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Deleted member 93
Welcome to the forum! Glad to see your family as active as they are here. Boring is not exactly the word I would use for your life. Hope we can be here for you as we try to be there for Evie.
- Post starter
- #5
Thank you for the welcomes. I do rather enjoy my life, it is definitely not dull and I suppose it is interesting in a rather different way from when I was working. I am pleased with myself that I was able to write a bit here without asking my husband for help! I look forward to talking with you all more.
reallydown
Diamond Member
Welcome Kathy, glad you're here.
- Admin
- #10
anthony
Founder
Hi Kathy... welcome aboard. This is turning into quite the family event... I like it. Great to see such excellent support. Kathy, don't worry about not knowing in relation to PTSD, because 90% or more of the therapy industry don't know what there doing either. So much experience and knowledge here, how can we really go to far wrong nowadays! Healing is slowly becoming faster and faster for people finding this place... all because of everyone's experience... just as yours will help someone Kathy, have no doubt.
Lovely to have you active here though. Look forward to chattting with you more.
Lovely to have you active here though. Look forward to chattting with you more.
- Post starter
- #11
Thank you all once again for the warm welcomes! I am touched and extremely pleased Evie has found this forum.
Anthony, it is very sad but you speak the truth about the therapy industry. I was more along the lines of a guidance counselor for youth, but I did do some talk therapy. The staff at our youth facility had some minimal training to deal with trauma, but especially since trying to help Evie I have come to realize that our training was quite faulty, and possibly made things worse in many cases. We were told to listen and be sympathetic to traumas the young people experienced, but were not permitted to challenge them to better themselves. We were often enabling them to continue with being ill, and excusing their bad behaviour based on the trauma... something I would never tolerate at home with my own children! It is a shame, and I believe it's one of the reasons I retired early, due to my frustration in not being able to help properly. I did much more as a foster parent for the handful of youth my husband and I helped raise, than I did with the thousands that came through that facility. At least now I am learning with Evie and will apply that knowledge to any other trauma survivors who cross my path.
Anthony, it is very sad but you speak the truth about the therapy industry. I was more along the lines of a guidance counselor for youth, but I did do some talk therapy. The staff at our youth facility had some minimal training to deal with trauma, but especially since trying to help Evie I have come to realize that our training was quite faulty, and possibly made things worse in many cases. We were told to listen and be sympathetic to traumas the young people experienced, but were not permitted to challenge them to better themselves. We were often enabling them to continue with being ill, and excusing their bad behaviour based on the trauma... something I would never tolerate at home with my own children! It is a shame, and I believe it's one of the reasons I retired early, due to my frustration in not being able to help properly. I did much more as a foster parent for the handful of youth my husband and I helped raise, than I did with the thousands that came through that facility. At least now I am learning with Evie and will apply that knowledge to any other trauma survivors who cross my path.
- Admin
- #12
anthony
Founder
Thats exactly it Kathy, and really what its all about. Whilst I know how to heal people at their worst, only they can do the work, only they can make the choices, and you are right, not pushing them does nothing except excuse their actions, even support their actions, instead of focus reality and responsibility back upon them.
The good thing here, is that I do not need to worry about trying to help the world, all I need to do is concentrate on some, being on what I can handle myself, the worst cases that others cannot quite handle, or may not feel up too, then as people heal, the community just becomes one huge therapy community, where everyone helps everyone along, through the very steps they have walked, or are walking.
I think if you can help one person, that is better than none at all, and that is my aim and still remains as such, even though I have helped many heal already / still healing, one is excellent if you ask me. One more person that can participate in life once again, one more person that is now less likely to get involved in crime, drugs and the like, one less to hopefully end up dead.
I absolute admire both you and Jim for the work you both do, simply opening your hearts and home to help others less fortunate. I am the same pretty much, where I lost focus on money years ago, instead the reality of what is more important, humanity.
The good thing here, is that I do not need to worry about trying to help the world, all I need to do is concentrate on some, being on what I can handle myself, the worst cases that others cannot quite handle, or may not feel up too, then as people heal, the community just becomes one huge therapy community, where everyone helps everyone along, through the very steps they have walked, or are walking.
I think if you can help one person, that is better than none at all, and that is my aim and still remains as such, even though I have helped many heal already / still healing, one is excellent if you ask me. One more person that can participate in life once again, one more person that is now less likely to get involved in crime, drugs and the like, one less to hopefully end up dead.
I absolute admire both you and Jim for the work you both do, simply opening your hearts and home to help others less fortunate. I am the same pretty much, where I lost focus on money years ago, instead the reality of what is more important, humanity.
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