Emotional Flashbacks

[Kimpersonal]

Lucycat ... thank you so very much for sharing this article! It answers so many questions that have been forming in my brain ... but could not find the words to ask in a coherent way. Wowza!

I could not finish the entire article ... but I will return to it once I stop trembling from this "good stress" that suddenly plopped into my already topped cup. I'm full enough for a day. *burp* :speechless:

 

[Tinyflame]

I went back to that article try to grasp (and copy) the 13 points.

I don't know why, but this time it was clear, they said what to do: recognize it's a EFB, even though it likely won't seem to have an identifiable trigger (like LH said, and LH I agree- perspective is so much), 'thought stoppage', 'thought substitution', silence your inner critic, don't allow yourself to catastrophize, grounding.
And (then) not to respond with the typical pattern(s) of fight/flight/freeze/fawn.

But what amazes me most of all, is they said the 'feelings' are 'appropriate', in so far as what they relate back to. Because they said (in essence), how would you characterize how you felt 0-6 years of age, and all I could think of was fear, terror, etc.

And they said, when you learn not to ask for help you 'don't' and 'won't'.
And like you said LH you have to grieve it and justifiable anger or assertiveness helps, (as it applies to the past, etc).

Oh ya- and this hits home- hypervigilance applies even more to fear of the immediate future than the present.

I am really lucky, because I thought just April/ May was ~challenging, but I recall having a great Easter in 2008, feeling much happier and grounded (at that point in my life), then a stupid event on Mother's Day 2008 left me ending up well, 'here'!
Plus you add in the current (rational/ justifiable) fear.

Oh yes and also, that we can't turn trust 'on' but it may likely get turned off at those times so be prepared to contradict it with other facts, and recognize that is so. And that the 'left brain' gets over-ridden with the right, which is why it's so difficult to remember other memories/ facts, trust etc.

Oh yes, and also to surround yourself with safe people , places etc.

I hope this makes sense, there are people screaming and fighting outside, it's an awful situation (by the sounds of it) and an awful trigger. :(

 

[Tinyflame]

And they said when you get a start like that, how can you possibly feel a sense of safety later. Not easy!

And also that small (under 6) children always seek out an adult, or need one there, but I recall being able to manage from 4-6. I thought 'ok' (except for ulcers).

Not that it matters, but I think it was because my 'care givers' also disappeared, and I didn't 'tell' (so to speak).

I hope Venusian and others, that you are getting some relief.

 

[Tinyflame]

And they said to remember it's 'now'- totally different.

 

[Darrell P.]

I started experiencing Emotional Flashbacks in Sept 2011 It was weird because it made me feel like I was re-experiencing my Military Sexaul Trauma all over again, after 30 years of not being brothered by my attempted rape in Army Basic Training back in 1977, I started reliving my trauma through both Flashbacks and terrifying Nightmares of my trauma, and I'm still having them, I wish I knew what I can do to make them stop, go away, and never return again in my mind.

 

[Venusian]

Hi Darrell, I am sorry you are going through this too. My trauma goes back to 1969 and I hadn't recognized what these were until just recently. Thinking back on my life I have remembered times when these flashbacks occurred and I had no idea where the feeling came from. Finally recognizing what they actually are made a huge difference but I would love to be able to make them stop too.

 

[Tinyflame]

Something will help Venusian, keep trying.

I've even heard it suggested (twice) to tell the thought/ feeling to "Frigg Off" (!) :oops:

 

[Sheer Force of Will]

I am having the same problem.

I will get triggered, and I am still learning what my triggers are and I will go in to this depressive, self loathing spiral where I feel utterly hopeless, and utterly helpless, like I will never be free of my abusers, I will not be able to stop my brother form dying, and nothing I do means anything. I will latch on to anything that I have done wrong and tell my self that because I failed at that one thing, I am utterly worthless.

Anything anyone says makes me feel even worse because I feel like people are being nice to me because they pity me, which makes me feel even worse about myself. At this point I tend to really want to hurt myself or have a lot of ideation.

There is nothing that seems to bring be back from this point. I get so hopeless and hateful towards myself. I have no idea how to make this stop or pull back from this when I get there. I don't let myself think about what happened to me. I just get these emotional flashbacks.

Usually, I can go to bed and when I get up the next day, I am better. Sometimes I don't get better for days though. Sometimes I get better really slowly, like getting over a cold. It can take a week.

Has anyone tried conditioning themselves to respond to a smell or something to help them feel better? I feel like that might work for me.

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[Tinyflame]

SFoW, I experience the same, for a day or day(s).

I can't imagine any good thought being possible at times like those, it's too severe self-loathing or despair.

Idk if a scent would work for me, no connotation.

 

[Red Feather]

A friend suggested burning Sage to me. It has a nice smell. I should try it now myself.

 

[712xx]

Be careful when burning anything, even a candle if anyone has short-term memory issues. Someone told me simmering nice smelling foods like apples and other fruits has a soothing effect. I would agree, if I wasn't in danger of burning my house down in the process.

I have trouble when I walk out of a room, my mind's focus shifts to where ever I am. If it isn't in front of my eyes, I go for a long period of time forgetting about most anything else -- makes cooking out of the question unless I stand over the stove the whole time, or can sometimes use the timer ... as long as I stay in the house to hear it. I once put an eggroll in the oven to crisp up under the broil. I went to get the mail, saw a few odds and ends to do out there, got caught up in what I was doing and completely forgot about the eggroll; it caught on fire.

There are a few stray dogs that roam around here. One was around that afternoon. He started barking at the house. I didn't notice at first, but he got insistent. His bark was insistent; I heard it like an alarm. I looked at the house and then remembered my eggroll. I ran inside, saw the smoke; thankfully it was only a small fire, and was able to put it out with my kitchen fire extinguisher. I now keep a box of dog bones for when he comes around. :)

Things like that have happened many times, so I either stay in the kitchen while cooking anything or just use the microwave. I don't light candles unless they are in glass jars and the flame is below the lip and far away from fabric. Make sure to put some Al foil under it as well. Also, don't burn anything that gives off too much hydrocarbons (black smoke). Breathing it in isn't healthy.

Ever since I was little, I've had security blankets -- they all have a particular scent that I find very comforting.

 

[Sheer Force of Will]

Idk if a scent would work for me, no connotation.

There does not have to be a connotation. When you are having a good day, you can smell the smell, so that you train yourself over time to respond positively to the smell and recall the good feelings. I am trying to do it by smelling a bag of lavender while my supporter sings a lullaby to me. So far the singing helps me calm down the most, but I think the lavender might help a little.

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