Does Anyone Feel Attacked When They Receive A Grammar Correction?

[Beverly G.]

I just got one of those automated grammar notices and my heart started to pound and my first instinct was to get off the sight and never return. This is an odd sensation for me becasuse I used to have a degree in journalism and now I can't even spell. What's up with that? Why do I take it personally? Why do I feel unwanted and unworthy because of something so simple? Anyone else ever been there?

I read a post from Anthony yesterday about getting worse, from posting on this sight, inorder to get better in the long run. Is that what's happening to me? When I look back on previous post I can see a progression of slowly starting to hurt worse. The first time I got one of these notices I said oh well I will just try harder and learn to use spell check better. This time I thought why don't they want me here. I feel as if I am loosing my mind.

 

[heidi]

From my experience these are not so much 'grammar corrections' as requests for members to indent paragraphs and capitalize the first letter of a sentence.

As long as you do those two things you should be fine. And yes I think it's normal to feel weird about it. We are all sensitive and everything like that. My grammar is terrible. But after complying with the simple requests my grammar has not been scrutinized.

 

[cherryblossom]

I can remember getting a notification for something when I first joined this site. And yes, it scared the sh*t out of me. But I took on board what was being said, and quickly learned the forum rules.

While it may feel personal, any notifications sent are not personal. They are just a reminder of the forum rules, simple as that - no hidden meaning.

Feeling unwanted or unworthy is all part and parcel of PTSD. Perhaps your symptoms are peaking due to addressing your PTSD. You often feel worse before you feel better.

Just know that when a staff member sends you a notification, it's nothing personal. It's just a reminder of the forum rules.

 

[Anna]

I just felt embarressed at how crap my English was hehe.

 

[KP the nut]

Just know that when a staff member sends you a notification, it's nothing personal. It's just a reminder of the forum rules.

I agree 100% CB. It is never personal.

I've just issued a notification/reminder to a 'friend'. It isn't easy but it is part of my role as a moderator. Hopefully most people can treat us as almost 2 people, eg KP the member and KP the moderator.

I've had notifications in the past and initially it is natural to take it personally, but it has also helped me develop confidence:confused:.

 

[intothelight]

Beverly,

Thank you for bringing up this topic. I think everyone can feel that way and I know when I got my first grammar correction that I was feeling absolutely horrible. But I went back and read the rules and a didn't have a problem after that.

Remember these are not personal attacks against members, but are years of experience as to what type of format works best for readability considering the cognitive problems associated with PTSD.

Remember, anytime you are not sure of a rule, please direct an inquiry to the Help Desk. That is what it is there for so staff can provide clarification.

Deb

 

[^^FlyingSolo^^]

Those notices are very intimidating. I just try to obey the rules the best I can, and pray that I don't get another notice.

I am always scared that I'm going to get in trouble.

Sometimes I get very very tense when I sign-in because I think there might be a notice waiting for me in my in-box. But I haven't got one in a while.

I'm very thankful for the rules, and I wouldn't change a thing of the way it is! If you've ever been on other forums it's ridiculous. It's pure chaos.

The rules, and reinforcement of the rules are actually the reason I love this forum. It gives us a nice peaceful environment to share, without getting bullied by troublemakers, or having to put up with non-sense rif-raf, from people who want to blurt out anything with no care to proper etiquette (spelling, grammar etc. )

It's because I favor this site so much, that I'm afraid of getting in trouble. Because I like this forum and I want to keep coming here. :cry:

 

[Beverly G.]

I understand all about rules and I can appreciate the way the site is ordered. The only issue for me has been that during very stressful times I don't always remember my own name much less forum rules. For some reason I have felt mote stress the last week than I can remember in quite a while.

Yes maybe I am getting worse to get better.

 

[Philippa]

It personally peeves me to no end...but then, I grew up with an anally retentive father who was always correcting my grammar, so...

As with what Beverly said above, half the time I don't know what day it is, let alone to remember little details like grammar, so it does often occur to me as not being given much understanding that it can be hard to remember things like this...and being told to in an authoritative manner tends to have the opposite effect on me.

Instead of wanting to correct myself and read the rules, it makes me ignore them even more, just because I feel annoyed at being told that I am doing something that I personally find quite easy to overlook.

 

[Philippa]

I just got told I had to provide a reason for wanting to edit my above response??

Why is that even necessary?

It seems a tad controlling? I've never had to give a reason for wanting to edit and add new things to my posts before...so why now?

 

[shell]

I could totally relate this, I had exactly the same over reaction when I got one. PTSD really sucks, I can no longer concentrate, spell or think logically.

It took me a day, to get over the rejection I was feeling and see it for what it was, and not run away from this forum because I felt like a total loser.

For some reason having PTSD, emphasizes every emotion I have. I'm not sure if this is because doing therapy makes me much more aware of what's going on internally, or it's the lack of self esteem.

I'm glad I didn't run away, because without this forum, I don't think I would be coping as well as I am.

I took it as a learning experience, that I need to work on my over reactions to feeling rejected and catastrophizing.

 

[Abrasky]

The editing on the site can be a trigger for PTSD symptoms some I think, but that it isn't the site's fault what triggers we have.

I think just manage it like other triggers, accept something is going on to make it a trigger, that is isn't personal and move on.

I have a trigger of not being able to fail due to a father relentlessly punishing me for imperfection to break me down and one about an lecturer my work at uni pretty harshly so I deal with it by trying to understand the trigger, and understanding negative feelings might be associated with a trigger.

It is great the site is so easy to read.:tup:. The editing is just about paragraph spacing and capital letters not my triggers. Feel free edit away.:p mods and I will poke out my tongue and keep writing to the best of my average ability.