Does Anyone Feel Attacked When They Receive A Grammar Correction?

[Whitneys story]

I understand the need for the process and it is not to pick on us! What I have trouble with is once they correct it, I don't know exactly what I did wrong. I received two notices on one post, which seriously has me confused. Now I fear posting as I don't want to be banned. We don't need to reinvent the wheel, just try harder!

 

[Philippa]

Yes, I have the same issue Whitney. I never know what I've actually done wrong because the mods have already fixed it by that stage, and then my paranoia creeps in and I start to think they are just messing with my head...which I don't like to think, but I also don't know any of these people except on here, and they do have the power, which some people can abuse.

I'm not saying that is what goes on, just that it's how it feels at times...for me, for the reason you gave.

 

[Philippa]

I don't like that you fear posting incase you get banned.

Fear has long been a tool of control for religions and governments throughout history, and on a forum like this, whilst rules need to be enforced, you shouldn't have to fear being banned because of your mistakes.

If I get banned, then so be it. I survived before this place, and I will survive if I am no longer allowed to be here. It would be a shame, as it does me a lot of good, and I think I contribute to other peoples healing in some small way...but I am not going to live in fear for anyone.

I don't think it's healthy to be too attached to one place anyway, and this place, if I'm not mistaken, is not supposed to be somewhere we stay forever...it's a healing place where we support each other until such time as we no longer need that support.

Having said that, if I am shown where I've actually messed up I am happy to adapt and do better next time...but it helps to actually know where you have messed up, and that is my only real gripe with that system.

 

[Loloma]

In the beginning I panicked but got over it. It helped me to look at what I was doing wrong and work on improving my grammar. We all make mistakes in life, grammar is the small stuff.

However having PTSD blows everything out of proportion and any sort of criticism whether it be constructive or not can be taken the wrong way. On this forum it has helped me step back and look at issues from a different angle. That doesn't mean that I always agree with another persons point of view.

Back to the subject at hand, no it doesn't bother me as I know I still make grammatical error every now and then.

 

[CraftyCath]

I often feel that I have 'done something wrong' and 'expect' a notification even though I haven't yet had one. (I'm sure I will at some time). Part of my PTSD is that I was falsely accused of something very serious and I tend to react even if someone is just pointing something out to me and meaning it in a positive way. My T does this with me and I have had to learn the difference between a positive correction and a false accusation. It is a very BIG trigger for me.

But I know that when it triggers, it is ME who is triggered and not the fault of the person who is showing me where I went wrong nor the Forum rules.

If I get a notification I'm sure it will trigger me but I'll deal with it and use it as a way to practice dealing with my triggers. Yikes!

I always re-read my posts before I post them and then after too. I use the Edit feature a lot. I used to work as a proof reader so I got used to re-reading and correcting.

My H on the other hand is severely dyslexic and dyspraxic, his grammar is very poor and it takes him a full day just to fill in a form. I don't know how he would deal with the grammar as he (and my lads) get very confused by the spell checker. Even when a suggested spelling correction comes up, non of them can 'see' which word to use.

I do, however, leave my English spelling intact when the spell checker puts a red line under it!! E.g. I put 'colour,' it tells me to put 'color.' But that's just me being a cheeky Brit LOL! ;)

 

[Eleanor]

For the record Beverly, I freaked too the first time I got a correction notice (and I DONT have PTSD) heart pounding, anxiety provoked, slight paranoia, worry that I'd get kicked off. I couldn't figure out what I'd done WRONG!?!?!?:eek: It was breaking up paragraphs. I had written "word soup". KP (I think) fixed it (thank you!) I HATE making mistakes. (Neurotic? Yes!) If I wanted to plot my stress the typos in my posts probably track it pretty well.

Here is something I've learned (the hard way) teaching writing and training horses:

Basic writing skills (any skills actually) like grammar, punctuation, paragraphing etc, break down when a new higher level skill is being assimilated. So if your skills are breaking down (as mine do from time to time) it is likely that you are doing some serious learning/re-integrating.

In training: it always gets worst right before it gets a lot better.

Given all we all go through on a regular basis, I am most grateful to the moderators for making this site so extremely user friendly and readable! Even when it freaks me out.:p Excellent job, guys:tup: Truly, it can't be said enough.

 

[heidi]

I feel like this those grammer notices can give off a false first impression of this site. I think this is the kindest, most gentle site I've ever known. But the first couple I received made me feel the same way as everyone else.

 

[ISupportHer]

I have usually stayed away from posting on threads about concerns of rules or grammar.

I decided to post for one simple reason. Maybe my saying that I have had messages about my errors too, will help. Just like so many here, I have had several. Therefore, even though it feels like YOU (or I) were singled out, it is not the case. Did I get angry when I got the first ones? You bet I did. I was an anxious mess at that time. (Just half anxious now, LOL) Not an excuse, just part of the explaination of my feelings at that time.

I just hope that others come to the realization that I did. It was NOT personal and it is not just me, just a way for me to know what I did wrong. What's the saying? "Those who don't know history are destined to repeat it" Well the same goes for the grammar and infractions here. If you don't get notified, then you don't know what you (again, I) did wrong.

ISH

:eek: Checking spelling one last time before clicking ----->----->----->[Post Reply]

 

[KP the nut]

The thing is, the notifications have to be standard across the board, otherwise Moderators are accused of favouritism. Please remember it is not personal, it just helps keep the forums to the same standard. That standard type and readability is often what attracts people here in the first place.

 

[AngelaMarie]

When I first came on the forum I got a warning. Unfortunately I didn't remember the first one and got another for the same thing.:confused: I remember feeling guarded for a little while and then realizing it's necessary. This moderator was only doing her job and after that everything was cool. I appreciate the job they do. It's gotta be tough to be tough sometimes. However, without them and Nicolette and Anthony we wouldn't be here.

 

[Nicolette]

I have watched this thread with interest to see where it would end up.

Pleasingly it seems to be more of a discussion on how members feel about the actual notification and analysis of their reaction rather than a 'bag the system' thread.

We are all human so it is guaranteed that somewhere, sometime, we will all stuff up something. It may be innocent and it may be due to ignorance. It is not what we do wrong but how we then deal with it that defines us IMHO.

Life is full of rules as otherwise it would be total and utter chaos... the rules here are set to try and keep it safe and readable for all concerned - especially as it is a mental health forum.

Kudos to those who can acknowledge that the notification system is one to keep the forum stable and fair.....nothing more or less and definitely not personal.

 

[ericaboo]

It's happened to me a couple of times, and for a second, I get really schocked and scared. I love this forum so much, and I feel kind of dependent on it, so it would be awful if I lost privileges - even for a short time.

Then I realize what the mistake was, and I'm relieved and grateful to be made aware. There are a lot of posts I have been unable to get through on this and other forums because of the way they are written, and I agree 110% that it's a good idea to educate people on how to write posts that others will understand and benefit from.

Thanks for the wonderful moderation on this site - you are a model for others to follow...