Can Being Cheated On And Finding Out Poorly Cause Ptsd?

[Ketrel]

Without going into all the details, close to two years ago, I was cheated on (for the first time). I found out very abruptly via a mutual friend in the form of a text that said. "she's ****ing <person>".

Since then, that entire night, plays back in my head whenever I have any idle time. If I'm not distracted with something I'm doing, any idle thoughts turn to that, and it feels just as significant as when it originally happened.

In August, it will be two years and it's still happening.

 

[amethist]

Hi Ketral

Being cheated on cannot and never will cause you or anyone else to suffer with PTSD. Hard as this may sound, this is just every day life and happens to millions of people all over the world.

Maybe reading this will explain why this will not cause PTSD in anyone.

[DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/wiki/posttraumatic-stress-disorder/[/DLMURL]

This is one of those life experiences that you will have to let go of somehow. Trust is what goes out of the door when someone cheats on you, getting it back is tough. Whether you are still seeing her or the relationship is now over, 2 years is a long time to keep going over it.

Talking to a counselor or your Dr may be the first place to go.

Amethist

 

[LA LISA MAGDALENO]

That is really hard. But no way can it cause P.T.S.D.. Someone with P.T.S.D. might have a harder time coping though.

 

[Red Feather]

I was cheated on. I don't think it caused my PTSD per say, the relationship was abusive physcially and emotionally. What contributed to my PTSD is that I stayed in the relationship although it was happening. It was a factor of enormous emotional and pyschological manipulation that left me feeling worthless and powerless. It's terrible to go through that. In anycase it's not your fault. Please remind yourself that and look for help to support you going through this.

 

[wife of]

Sounds like good old fasioned hurt and resentment....time to move on and realise that this happens in life.

Losing that relationship has made way for a better one somewhere in your future.

Maybe as previously suggested a little therapy might help you overcome any fear of this happening to you again.

 

[Ketrel]

I'm not referring to the hurt.

I'm referring to the every idle moment, having the night I found out reply in my head over and over, for close to two years now. I've not been in that relationship for over 6 months now.

 

[Kaii]

Dwelling on something obsessively and having PTSD are not the same thing. PTSD flashbacks don't just happen during "idle" moments unfortunately. Think of a time when you heard a song on the radio....and then you can't get it out of your head for the next two hours, well PTSD is kind of like that except your "song" plays over and over day in and day out for months, years, decades. It's there whether you want it to be or not. Not just during times when your mind is idle and wandering.

 

[Ketrel]

Dwelling on something obsessively and having PTSD are not the same thing. PTSD flashbacks don't just happen during "idle" moments unfortunately. Think of a time when you heard a song on the radio....and then you can't get it out of your head for the next two hours, well PTSD is kind of like that except your "song" plays over and over day in and day out for months, years, decades. It's there whether you want it to be or not. Not just during times when your mind is idle and wandering.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001923/

Symptoms of PTSD fall into three main categories:
1. "Reliving" the event, which disturbs day-to-day activity

• Flashback episodes, where the event seems to be happening again and again
• Repeated upsetting memories of the event
• Repeated nightmares of the event
• Strong, uncomfortable reactions to situations that remind you of the event

2. Avoidance

• Emotional "numbing," or feeling as though you don't care about anything
• Feeling detached
• Being unable to remember important aspects of the trauma
• Having a lack of interest in normal activities
• Showing less of your moods
• Avoiding places, people, or thoughts that remind you of the event
• Feeling like you have no future

3. Arousal

• Difficulty concentrating
• Startling easily
• Having an exaggerated response to things that startle you
• Feeling more aware (hypervigilance)
• Feeling irritable or having outbursts of anger
• Having trouble falling or staying asleep
• Agitation or excitability
• Dizziness
• Fainting
• Feeling your heart beat in your chest
• Headache

Bolded are what's happening to me

Do all of them have to occur for it to be PTSD?

 

[Nadege]

Dear Ketrel,

I disagree with above posters. PTSD can be caused by any experience which is extremely traumatic, unexpected, and so horrible that one never thought it possible. You may want to check out a book called Transcending Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder, which draws parallels between PTSD and the so-called PISD. It is available on Amazon. I read it at my local library.

Link: Dead Link Removed

You say you "found out poorly." It is quite possible the news just hit you over the head, and you were absolutely overwhelmed.

Take a look at the reviews, it is quite possible you will be able to relate.

 

[ericaboo]

Something I've noticed is that names of problems and specific diagnoses change all the time and may or may not be the most important thing.

What matters is that you are hurting and your quality of life is seriously effected. A well trained professional would be the best person to give you a legitimate diagnosis.

If you do a search on this site you might be able to fine one of anthony's posts that's about how self diagnosis doesn't work, and why.

The worst thing in the world is to be in pain and not receive the help you need, and feel invalidated because people disagree about a diagnosis which is basically just a label... the important thing is that you receive the correct type of support for the symptoms you are going through - perhaps unresolved grief and depression for starters, and who knows what else.

I wish you well in finding your way to a better place in your life. I'm glad to see you are persisting in your questions - persistence is everything in my book...

 

[Kaii]

The way I distinguish it in my head, is that PTSD is caused by something terrible happening that is out of the ordinary of day to day life. The something terrible was so terrible that it caused you to experience intense horror, fear and helplessness.

It's like the difference between finding out that your friend has died in a car accident vs. being present in the car with them and seeing the sights, hearing the sounds, smelling the smells of accident with the body of your dead friend lying slumped in the front seat next to you.

See what I mean?

 

[ericaboo]

I recommend reading this thread below:

[DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/self-diagnosis-is-not-an-option.13882/[/DLMURL]