Does Anyone Else Experience This Too? PTSD Isn't My Fault

[pandora]

I have been reading soooo much on this site and it really is helping me to beleive that this is not partially mt fault, I mean OMG I would never choose this for my life. (If I had a choice but GOD only gives us what we can handle, so I do not, ha ha)

The reason i feel this way is bacause even though I was just diagnosed with this recently I seemed to have put myself into further abusing, controlling, self-defeating just overall bad situations, i know I will never do that again. I "learn my lessons the hard way"," We all can choose how to let things bother us", "I need to get on with my life" , "I can't screw up my life more than I already have" ' "book smart, street dumb"

These are things that I have heard from family members and friends both. Does anyone else have people in there lives that they feel completely and totally misunderstood by? I always just blamed myself for just being stupid. I think I need to stop blaming myself. I am not choosing this. Everyone makes mistakes. Don't get me wrong, i am not perfect and have not been the easiest to communicate with and I am extremely passive and I try to avoid conflict at all costs so I also take a role in any and all of my relationship failures. I think maybe now I am just starting to understand:crazy: a bit better, this is hard work but maybe i will be able to get through this, the light at the end if the tunnel may be shining a bit brighter today. I am so glad I found this site.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Any responses would be welcome as I would like to know if this situation is similar to anyone else.

Take Care

 

[becvan]

The reason i feel this way is bacause even though I was just diagnosed with this recently I seemed to have put myself into further abusing, controlling, self-defeating just overall bad situations, i know I will never do that again. I "learn my lessons the hard way"," We all can choose how to let things bother us", "I need to get on with my life" , "I can't screw up my life more than I already have" ' "book smart, street dumb"

Yes, toxic people who don't want their bubble burst. I'm sure everyone on this board has received this ignorant treatment from someone! My entire family is like this (on top of other issues.) I just cut those people out of my life. They are not supportive nor understanding and therefore part of the problem. I want solutions.

We all struggle with self-blame. The I can't get over it book will be a god send to you! There is a couple of great chapters on this in there. It will really be an eye opener when you get it and read it!

bec

 

[Monarch]

I think part of the PTSD is that we blame ourselves for the things that happen to us. I just recently had the thought, and it is just a thought of wow, I didn't ask for this, I didn't do anything to deserve this, this was done TO me. Until now I have always blamed myself. Why? Why would I blame myself for being hurt by someone else?

Many people don't understand me, there is a reason that I live 1300 miles away from my family. People think that if you are from a wealthy family that you had it good, things were perfect how could you not want to be around money and influence. Well it isn't true money doesn't make you treat your kids or family members any nicer. I cut them out of my life to save my life, to make it better.

 

[thankfull]

know that feeling. It took me almost thirty years to accept I wasnt to blame and tell some one.trouble was my mother didnt believe me and my husband, well he tries or he did now he just gets angry and tells me to snap out of it. I keep quite and pretend every things ok. Its easier to let him think Im lazy useless miserable and a crap mother than let him inside my head. Perhaps I should leave like you

 

[Monarch]

It is easier said than done but there is something that made me feel good about starting over. New city, I knew one person, my boyfriend (now husband) and I got to know his friends, which were all military guys and great guys at that. Making friends has been hard, but moving away from my family was the best thing I ever did. I had to go back to FL for my grandma's funeral in January and my dad is such a trigger for me and he just treated me so badly that it set me back 3 months in therapy again. I can't do that anymore and I won't do that to myself anymore, it is too hard. I need to be who I am, not perfect and working on life but away from toxic people.