Recent Tragedy Precludes Us Participating For Some Time Here

[batgirl]

Thanks mac, and nice to see you again.

 

[Kathy]

Mum has never been the same... lets just say that. All I can imagine is the pain is intense, considering I expect my children to bury me, not the other way around.

Oh Anthony I am very sorry for your family's loss. Given how I am feeling presently, I can comprehend your Mum never being quite the same. I doubt I will be either. Mother's Day is coming up shortly, and for the first time in 35 years I am dreading it. I believe I will ask the children not to celebrate it on my behalf this year. Thank you for your wishes, yes we are up and about and trying to get on with things, though it is difficult to say the least.

 

[anthony]

Funny you say that Kathy, as still today mum no longer celebrates Mothers day, as we just had it yesterday and all.... 18 years on, and still impacts. Only a mother could know I believe.

 

[Kathy]

Yes it turned out to be quite a difficult day, and I quite understand the feelings of your mum, I sadly can't imagine it getting any easier in the future.

 

[batgirl]

This thread was kind of vague about what happened to my family. I guess none of us were ready to say much of anything about it. It's been 2 months now though, as of last Saturday, so I thought I'd briefly say what happened, I feel ready I think, in case anyone's still not sure.

My cousin Brian, Jim and Kathy's son, username TinCanCommando on the forum, had recently been diagnosed with PTSD, and he was having trouble dealing with it. He was raging a lot and driving drunk. He got into a very bad car accident and died of his injuries on April 16, 2007. For a while the police were investigating the possibility of his death being a suicide, but that was later ruled out. Needless to say the last couple of months have been very difficult for my family, I was very close to Brian, I felt like I lost a brother. My uncle and aunt lost their firstborn son. We have all felt very guilty about the PTSD part and wished we could have done more to help Brian. The good news is though that we are now all in therapy together, and it has brought us much closer as a family. I only wish Brian was here to share that closeness.

Anyways that is the story, we are all still very sad and I think we will be for a long time, but life goes on and things are improving gradually. Thank you to everyone who has offered their thoughts and condolences here on the forum and in PMs, emails, etc. Your support is appreciated more than you'll ever know.

 

[Deleted member 487]

Jim, sorry I'm late. You know you're in my prayers, buddy!

 

[Jim]

Thank you Jack, much appreciated for the prayers.

Evie that was a good summary of events. Thank you for writing it for us my dear.

Uncle Jim.

 

[wildfirewildone]

:thumbs-up Yeah!!! For Retirement!!! :claps: KEEPING THE PEACE

 

[Kathy]

Evie that was a good summary of events. Thank you for writing it for us my dear.

Yes very nice Evie. Thank you. And thank you all for your support and good wishes, it has been so very helpful to us.

 

[pandora]

Now that i am posting again........I am so sorry for your loss but it is nice to see that you are all there for each other.
My father passed away 21 years ago and it ripped our family apart literally. it is nice to see other families that support each other so much and I think you guys.Jim, Kathy and Evie are an amazing family. Truly, i know you have suffered many tragedies and losses but you are lucky to have each other. I can only dream of having such a loving and supportive family.
Take Care

 

[Kathy]

Pandora, thank you ever so much for those kind words. I believe it is worth mentioning here that the family closeness we enjoy is not due to accident or good luck. Jim and I both were raised in families that were not so supportive, not abusive by any means, but definitely not close either. When we met we were both hurting from that lack of support, and early on in our relationship decided we did not want that for our children and other members of our extended family. We worked very dilligently to transform our family into what we wanted it to be, to the point where currently our children, nephews, niece and grandchildren all pretty much take that closeness for granted. We even forget ourselves, that we created this to begin with! We are truly seeing the results, as the younger generation is now treating each other with so much care and closeness, and passing it on to their own children, no doubt. We are truly blessed for how well our work has paid off.

Perhaps Pandora, you are not able to have that closeness with your own parents, and truly Jim and I both understand the pain of that. However, you do have the power to pass it on to your own children, current or future. It really is up to you. If you are willing to work at it hard enough you can create your own wonderful family, just as we have.

 

[Jim]

Quite correct. We all create our own happiness or unhappiness. It is a choice, not by accident or luck.

Jim.