Our Own Worst Enemies - Opinions Please

[intothelight]

This has been a great thread to read.

Avoidance is a huge issue with PTSD, but to address avoidance; one has to recognize what they are avoiding, have the tools in place when they do face the issue, and then decide whether it is exposure (applicable to places and things) or boundaries or termination when it is a relationship.

I am one that pushes and I end up banging my head on the same wall over and over again and beating myself up. In that, I am my own worst enemy. So, learning to be kinder and more accepting of myself goes a long way in making my own recovery better.

Recovery is individual and pushing ourselves to reach realistic goals, one step at a time seems to be the best approach to me. Honestly, there may be some stressors we will never overcome, and actually that is OK as long as it doesn't interfere with your daily life. So I won't shop at Walmart and I will patronize smaller, less crowded stores. Actually, I am not calling that avoidance, but personal preference. It has no bearing on my quality of life at the end of the day.

 

[PTSD sufferer]

Avoidance is a huge issue with PTSD, but to address avoidance; one has to recognize what they are avoiding, have the tools in place when they do face the issue, and then decide whether it is exposure (applicable to places and things) or boundaries or termination when it is a relationship.

Actually, I am not calling that avoidance, but personal preference. It has no bearing on my quality of life at the end of the day.

Very well said Debb! I couldn't agree more.

I'm getting my stuff under control but I don't think I can ever make up for everything that brewed up to the surface and destroyed a 25 year marriage.

Hi Zbztster, do you want to reconcile with your ex-wife? It sounds to me like you want closure on the hurt of the past, and wanting that is a good thing, but beating yourself up is unproductive for the illness.

It can be beneficial to talk through what has impacted your marriage, how you feel, as long as the 'emotionally charged nature' of any relationship can be acknowledged and managed. You need to be ready though as from my own experience, it is not easy to manage the emotionally charged nature of relationships, but it can be managed.