Coping After A Flashback

[Meadowsweet]

Last night I had quite a severe flashback. I didn't sleep much either.

Then today I feel only just here. I'm very spaced out and keep thinking things are people, then registering that it's just a tree branch moving outside, or a chair out the corner of my eye.

I'm dissociating into deep thought as if I was in the past. My thoughts and emotions are numb, but I feel very fragile, like a knock would send me back into flashback quite easily.

I've slept/dozed this afternoon. And I'm doing housework like a zombie, to keep myself moving and here. And I have some wine that I'll drink before bed tonight (not a healthy coping strategy I know)

So I wondered what others do? How do you bring yourself back round fully after flashback? Or do you just keep going and give it time?

 

[p-no]

What I do is ask myself what I would do with a child around 1.5 years old if she were feeling and experiencing things like this and then do that. Usually that is cutting back on all "I have tos" (if possible, stay home from work, only do the really necessary things (which usually aren't a lot or none, as most things can be done a different day just as well (if no kids involved, pets or family that need attention)) and then pamper myself. Cuddle up on the sofa, listen to music or watch a bit of tv. Make myself tea, put cookies and a glass of milk on the table and just let it pass. Give it time and lots of caring. If I feel like crying, I will cry. If I feel like sleeping, I'll allow myself to sleep.

When I react the way you seem to have then I go back to around the age 1.5. I think that's because that trauma I could never really process fully as I was just a child and the perception and experience of what happens in your life is different as a child. So I treat me as if I were a child.

I hope you will feel better soon and that you will have some good sleep tonight.

 

[Meadowsweet]

I think you've made a good point there.

I'm embarrassed of the inner child that came out last night. I want to say she's an idiot, but know I shouldn't (negative self talk).

But I think I am perhaps trying to push her out too quickly and get back to the 40 year old I am, when maybe I should allow it.

Thankyou.

 

[piratelady]

I have not had many flashbacks, but when I do, the only thing that seems to work is to simply give it time and as Prime-no said cut back on the things you have to do. Just do what you can, let yourself come back fully.

 

[p-no]

I want to say she's an idiot, but know I shouldn't (negative self talk).

I see it this way: She's crying out for help because she's overwhelmed and scared, terrified, ... and just a little child. I get the chance ot help her now, to hear her, to act upon what I hear. I learned with time that that wanting to say she's an idiot (and worse things) -- I had that for a long time too, rarely do today though -- stems from my mother who used to say this to me or make me feel this way in other ways. Or from doctors behaving like no doctor should. Always other people.

When my little one (= inner child) can't cope today, I can take active care of her. And she is extremely grateful and I get rewarded more than I have given every single time because that's how kids are. :)

She's worth it to be heard. Your inner child, I mean. :hug:

 

[JustBe]

Inner Child?

 

[p-no]

Have you ever heard of that, Movin'On? Make sure to check online and better even in good books. It's difficult to explain but there have been quite a few posts on the inner child on here, too.

In my words: it's the child in us, the child we were and that still has a say in our life today. It's not a different person, but the same person earlier-on in life. So, just to make sure, this is not about a personality or identity disorder thing, but a part of each one of us. And for me, big progress was made by finding the inner child and taking good, good care of her.

 

[JustBe]

That makes sense. I'm going to explore this. Thanks :hug:

 

[Mandy Tad]

That is so true about finding the inner child, I told my specialist this week, I have never had this feeling before, but I no longer want to be the person I am or was during the bullying years I want to be what I really am, the person I was as a child. I asked a few of my childhood friends and they said I was jovial, witty, a people's person, happy, and naughty always up to mischief but in a good way, never out to hurt anyone. I forgot the inner me while trying to stand up for myself and forgot who I really was.

People tell me you have a lot to give, I dont want to give anymore. I just want to be me again.

Past few days, I have been feeling like I am all alone, by myself, do not have any emotions, thoughts, no feelings and then I feel like this is the calm before the storm just have this uneasy feeling that something bad and big is just around the corner about to strike me. Hate this feeling

 

[Shellbell]

I'm way too scared to find my inner child. That will be very painful, My inner child is so scared, unsafe, hurt, rejected, broken, abused, unloved, desperate for love, abandoned - just so many tragic things that are too painful to deal with. And this comes through in flashbacks.

I guess in time though I will need to explore this in therapy.

 

[Meadowsweet]

And this comes through in flashbacks.

This is the thing, I think the inner child finds you.

In this last flashback, once it subsided, I was left wanting to shout at the inner child for being such an idiot for imagining all sorts of stupid things were happening, when they were not.

And at the same time, this inner child is there feeling sad, guilty, ashamed, frightened and about to be rejected.

It doesn't help if I reject her. It helps if I treat her as would treat my own children - telling them it's ok, allowing her to cry, telling her I understand and taking time to give her comfort, to wrap her in a soft blanket and snuggle up for a while, unhurt.

 

[Shellbell]

Yes I totally see what your saying Meadowsweet.

My inner child does come through in nightmares and flashbacks, but I just ignore her - as it's too painful. Although, I am acknowledging her here, so I guess that's a start.

I'm really happy though for those who can comfort their inner child, it does seem very necessary thing to learn.