Worst Type Of Sexual Assault?

[Imer]

Just to clarify, I am not condoning any sort of sexual abuse in any way at all. It's all awful. However, do you think there is an act(s) that somebody could inflict on a victim that is more distressing than others?

I was sexually abused in pretty much every way, but somehow, being raped orally and anally is far more upsetting than vaginally. I don't know why; but those things seem more horrific, make me feel truly sick to my stomach and are the acts that I have flashbacks of and just seem far harder to talk about in T.

 

[Atet]

I was raped anally as well, although, my case was a little different, in that I actually asked him to put it there instead of in my vagina.

He wouldn't wear a condom when I pleaded for him to, and I didn't want to get pregnant, so I said he could put it there instead, and he did. In this way I had some sort of control.

I think anal sex in general has a 'dirtier' connotation to it, mainly because that is the passage that passes faeces from it, and that is it's main function. There is a lot more taboo about it, so being raped there is associated with being much dirtier than anywhere else I think.

It's all bad though.

 

[Decaf]

I agree that those kind of rapes would be worse for me. I'm sorry you have been through so, so much. You certainly deserved NONE of it.

I remember how hard it was to speak the words of my abuse. It was different than thinking the words. It is worth the work in therapy, and getting it out of your head. I call it "running around in your head without adult supervision." We can't get better without telling 'our story'.

Praying that blessings of peace to you on your healing journey.

 

[Ule]

I think the worst kind is the type that doesn't end with the yucky criminal predator bleeding, dead or in jail for a long time. There's blurs on my memories of a few attempts, all I have is the part at the end where I'm running away with blood on my hands yelling profanities and insults. It wasn't my blood. As much as those close-calls shook me, I can't fathom the pain of those who've been through sexual assaults. It makes sense that certain acts would be more horrific, but they're all awful.

My T and a close friend have pointed out some strange justifications I make about what went on during an abusive relationship. It decreased the abuse if I went along with things, it was my choice and I didn't say no. I could've said no, but it had consequences. It was the lesser of evils, which is still evil.

 

[Hilu]

I think that we're all different, and what is the worst is what is the worst for us individually.

I'm afraid that if we get into comparisons, then some people may feel that their trauma wasn't so bad and they shouldn't be suffering as much as others. (No offense to the OP, I know you meant no harm. This is just my take on this, that's all.)

 

[Uta]

My attack didn't involve nudity, penetration, but it did scar me. For years I told myself that it was no big deal, because of people who have experienced much worse. The thing is, this didn't stop me from sleeping in the hallway of our family home, crawling into my sisters bed. It didn't stop me from freezing up when I tried to have normal sexual relations or stop from crying during those attempts. It didn't stop me from having ptsd.
I was told a long time ago to not compare. It's very hard not to. Mine always seems minor when I compare. I feel even worse for the problems I still hold from that experience.

 

[Nobuf]

I don't think it's helpful to think of the type of attack as a place on a number line of better or worse. It's all relative to how the person experienced the attack. Some people could weather stuff that was technically 'worse' but come out of it with less damage than someone else who was more vulnerable for whatever reason and has a 'lesser' attack. I think there's general trends you can say, but when it comes down to individuals you really have to treat each case as its own thing.

Also, as someone in mental/emotional recovery who has truggled with PTSD for a long time, I think it's important to measure yourself on your own progress, on your own number line, and not look at others and go "oh well they had it much worse and they're better after less time" and all the insecurity kind of thinking that can spin off from that.

 

[Rapes]

I think it is because vaginally is more "natural" oral and anal is not, thus when forced is more horrendous.

My assault which was vaginal penetration was very bad, because I was a virgin my tissues were destroyed. It was more painful than childbirth, consensual anal sex but that was physical pain only. The psychological abuse when my abuser forced me to give him oral sex and pushed my head down until I was almost choking even though no physically damaging was a lot worse.

I personally think psychological torture is worse than physical torture. This is just my opinion though.

 

[Vapala]

Non-consensual is all anything needs to be to be bad. I don't really know what purpose this thread serves but I find it perverse and unsavory and exactly the kind of discussion perpetrators/ignorant-bias law makers use to league table assault and diminish distress as relative. Conviction rate and stigma are surely appalling enough already.

 

[Vavol]

being raped [anally] there is associated with being much dirtier than anywhere else I think.

I can relate to that too well...

:(

 

[Imed]

I think this is a terrible question. Sexual assault... we need it on a 1-10 scale??? Hell, I've been sexually abused in a few ways, and you know what.... they all SUCKED!!! I think it's healthier to focus on healing from it than trying to justify your pain.... pain is pain, suffering is sufering, no need to put in on a scale.

 

[Golewa]

Using a scale to determine what sexual assaults are worse? That is a dangerous path. Pretty much every sexual assault survivor questions themselves. They question wether what they went through was "that bad" And yes they compare to what others have been through. And I bet 9 times out of 10, they think they haven't had it so bad.

It's wrong to compare truma like this. Sure people have their own opinions on what type of trauma would be worse for them. But that is them personally. And if they experienced other types, they may well find there is no "not so bad" way to be traumatised.