Supporter Girlfriend Of Retired Soldier With Ptsd

[NikknIsaac]

I'm new to dealing with all this. I started dating my boyfriend about 7 months ago. We met at work and things were great right up until he lost his job. A month before that I had moved in with him. He was honorable discharged for his PTSD after a tour in Iraq ab a year and a half ago. Lately he's just been depressed and irritable. He's no longer taking his medication and keeps putting off going to the VA. His emotions are on a roller coaster and I'm at a loss as to what to do on my part. I take care of the house do my best to make sure we have what we need and support him all I can but our relationship is suffering. I refuse to give up but I don't know how to handle his irritability. It's like walking on eggshells

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

Please visit the supporter section. There are some helpful and wonderful people there. Start by reading the sticky threads, those are very helpful bits of information.

 

[BigBear]

It is very critical that he be in therapy. If he is not, it is very wrong for both of you. It's going to be very hard for him. But you can't do it for him.

As Ayesha said, read up in the forums and ask questions of other supporters with similar problems. There are many a lot like you.

Bear

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

 

[NikknIsaac]

He went to therapy right after he was discharged but never went back. He acknowleges that he needs back on his medication and says he is going to go to the VA but makes excuses for not going. He won't go look for a job and then let's the stress of everyday life and finances get to him.

 

[Dallas]

A month before that I had moved in with him.

I would think about getting my own place until he gets his health under control. While he's working on his health issues, I would focus on developing your own life. There is nothing you can do to fix him. He has to work on getting well himself. You can drive him to his doctor appointments but he is the one who has to go to therapy and regulate his medication. You can't do that for him, and I wouldn't even try. It is up to him to get his own life in order.

Sincerely,
Dallas.

 

[Mercutio]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this; I have a loved one with very similar issues and I know it's hard. Hope you find some wonderful support here, and don't forget to take care of yourself. <3

 

[intothelight]

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

 

[Dallas]

If he won't/can't get a job, there is VA housing resources combined with therapy programas available in many states.

Sincerely,
Dallas.

 

[BigBear]

but makes excuses

Hopefully, it's still too early to tell. Keep holding him to a high standard. But also keep encouraging him. Reward only good behavior.

And take care of your self!

Bear

 

[NikknIsaac]

I'm trying my best. We had a great weekend but as the week has progressed on the mood and attitude changes have started again. He's staying gone and snapping at me for everything. It's really starting to make me wonder if I can do this. We both have kids but he seems to be putting his friends over everything else. He's unhappy with himself because he isn't working but instead of trying to find a job he takes his stress out on me. It just seems like he doesn't want to help himself.

 

[myvetswife]

It just seems like he doesn't want to help himself.

I think a lot of that comes down to "I'm not worth to get help".