Touch / Physical Holding

[Awakening]

Absolutely I think it should be incorporated, and I'm unsure as to all the 'hoo-ha' around a healing therapeutic touch with a clients permission to be honest.

 

[Sues]

If therapists are turned off by your inquiries of touch on the phone, have you explained that touch is a difficult area for you and that you want to try to overcome that? Maybe they are reading something different into it. I've not done therapy, so that's just the first impression I got when I read that.

 

[Chosen]

Hey pencil,

I don't have money/insurance, so I just go to college counseling center...so it's not going to happen. Wish I could get it, but it's not gonna happen. Oh well.

What links are you talking about from online? I think you can post them, or you can message me them, cuz I'm definitely interested in them!

 

[Smushroom]

Hi Jaret, it is about more than receiving a hug - it has to do with healing of very deep damage with physical contact - which is something I both crave and can't tolerate at the same time

You hit the nail on the head with that one Pencil. I am now constantly craving human companionship, human touch, but know I would fall to pieces if someone tried to touch me. I am better than I was, but still thinking about someone touching me sends shivers up my spine. But on the other hand, I crave it so desperately. It's a hard one!

My T touched me a few times in the very beginning. She touched my hand once, to show me a place on the hand to 'tap' (thought field therapy, not the therapy I do, but she was just doing a demo) and I completely zoned out. The second time I was really ill when I went to see her and she tested my skin to see if I was holding fluid. Again, that proved too much for me to handle.

I have come a long way since then and think I would be able to handle something like that now. I want her to teach me how to accept touch, but I would never ask. I dont know if I could go so far as a hug, from anyone, but...I don't know. I just know I need to get used to basic touching. I can't go to the hair dressers, the dentist, even the Dr touching me is sometimes too much.

I get what you are saying. I just don't know if there is T's out there that do 'Touch Therapy' or would incorporate that in therapy.

 

[piratelady]

I have no desire to be touched by my therapist in any way shape or form. I think I would about have a panic attack if he even shook my hand.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I get an occasional hug at the end of the session and that is all I can handle. I could not handle cuddling from a therapist. Interesting thread though.

 

[Smushroom]

I wouldn't feel comfortable hugging mine either. I just think it is a bit too 'informal' or just...going beyond the buondaries of a proper therapeutic working relationship. I would not feel comfortable with that. And holding hands and things like that. No, I wouldn't feel comfortable with it at all. But I want to learn to be able to be touched, and the only person I trust enough would be my T. But I'd never ask and it would be way too awkward.

 

[Pencil]

Absolutely I think it should be incorporated, and I'm unsure as to all the 'hoo-ha' around a healing therapeutic touch with a clients permission to be honest.

I agree!!

 

[Pencil]

You hit the nail on the head with that one Pencil. I am now constantly craving human companionship, human touch, but know I would fall to pieces if someone tried to touch me. I am better than I was, but still thinking about someone touching me sends shivers up my spine. But on the other hand, I crave it so desperately. It's a hard one!

I can relate to absolutely everything you are saying, Smushroom!

Here's a link (hope I'm not breaking any rules! Please let me know if I am): Oops, no I can't post links until I've posted x number of times. Go to Zurinstitute - and try to find link to touchintherapy.

Read it and let me know what you think - and I'll give you more links.

Pencil

 

[Pencil]

Hi

I wouldn't feel comfortable hugging mine either. I just think it is a bit too 'informal' or just...going beyond the buondaries of a proper therapeutic working relationship. I would not feel comfortable with that. And holding hands and things like that. No, I wouldn't feel comfortable with it at all. But I want to learn to be able to be touched, and the only person I trust enough would be my T. But I'd never ask and it would be way too awkward.

Hi Gizmo

I find the notion of boundaries in therapy very interesting. Each and every relationship in the world is boundaried - and yet we only ever refer to the therapeutic relationship as one with boundaries. Why is that, I wonder. I recently read an article (If I can find it I'll post the link) by a psychologist who laments the recent obsession with reference to boundaries in the therapeutic relationship. That does not mean that there should not be boundaries - as I said, every relationship has clear boundaries - we just don't make a song and dance about it.

Go to the Zurinstitute on the web and follow the link to touchintherapy.

Pencil.

 

[Pencil]

Gizmo, what I mean to say is that physical contact can be included in the clear boundaries of a therapeutic relationship. Somehow we have come to believe that 'boundaries' necessarily exclude physical contact - and I wonder how that perception was created and why.

Pencil

 

[Pencil]

Here is another good article for those of you what are interested:
From Felt-Sense to Felt-Self:
Neuroaffective Touch and the Relational Matrix
Aline LaPierre, Psy.D.

With complex trauma, the damage is usually relational - and how we are supposed to heal on a relational level while excluding such an important aspect is something that mystifies me - and many psychologists who are arguing for the inclusion of physical contact in therapy.

We have to remember - and Anthony has said this as well - that the theory and practice of psychology are evolving. At different times different theories were popular - and this includes lobotomies, bloodletting, drilling holes in skulls, etc. I am convinced that 50 years from now the no-touch rule will be regarded with the same disbelief as we now regard 'primitive' practices in therapy.

Oh, my goodness, I wonder if I'm breaking rules here.

Pencil