The Doomsday Trend

[Abstract]

Bubzilla,
You are sweet!:) Thank you for advising me when you should be thinking of you. It's just seemes like a total impossibility (just to be clear it is just a smear test at present) but maybe your bravery will inspire me. I have a double wammy at present as have also got a lump in my breast for months and am much more concerned about having it checked out than it being problematic. :rolleyes: It doesn't help that I have a few SI marks near it (very ashamed to say) and am still fighting the battle of looking "normal" to everyone.

 

[Abstract]

Actually I love your avatar! One of my favourites. He isn't intimidating and is sweet in his own way but also has attitude. And I was being very unfair to Neanderthals.

 

[HëllaBubz]

Thanks Abstract! :hug:

I don't like thinking of me much!

If it helps, the last time someone asked about SI marks, I told them the cats were chasing each other across me.
Nothing to be ashamed of my dear, and every time I hear something about someone else I'm glad to be my own version of 'normal'.:sneaky::confused:;)

If normal means that your skin has been decorated by a "cat", then you are normal to me. :hug:
And yes, I do believe the thought of getting it checked out definitely pales the thought of it being problematic!


I don't know if it helps at all, but the only brave thing about me is the fact that I'll walk out the door without a second thought if I don't like my treating medical professional.
It doesn't take much, and it feels bloody good.

I just noticed your second post, I laughed so hard I got a raised eyebrow from my cat.

 

[Shellbell]

Abstract you really do need to get that lump checked out! I totally understand the shame of the SI marks and I know that is so hard to deal with, but breast lumps need checking out sooner rather than later.

You are brave and I believe in you that you can do it. The medical people involved have seen everything, but I'm not trying to minimise how difficult it will be for you.

Do you have someone 'safe' who could come with you?

 

[JustBe]

I so wish I had had the choice to just walk out all those years ago...

Now I avoid any exams. I know how you guys feel.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Abstract, I agree with Shellbell. You really do need to go to the doc and get it checked out for your own peace of mind. Most likely the doc will not ask you about the marks. I hope you will do this for yourself. Better to catch things early. Big hugs.

 

[Abstract]

Thank you to you both. It helps that nice and normal people like you two know about this stuff too. Terribly ashamed of SI. Bubzilla, what a nice thing to say. Thank you. Thank you too for understanding that it is more scary. To be perfectly honest I can't really bring myself to care about cancer. That would probably change if I was faced with having it. I wonder if it is a sort of passive SU ideation thing going on. It would be terribly stupid way to SU.

I have also done an incredibly good job of hiding my "issues" in most arenas and will not be able to at present if I go in for a check-up.

Cats :roflmao:. I had to laugh at that. Those cats have such precision and are always sure to draw in straight lines. Clever critters. :cool: But actually I think people often don't even think to make the connection. I know my H doesn't and he accepts any excuse. So maybe it will be cats. I love that Bubzilla.

Shellbell,
Thank you for caring. Strangely it would be worse if someone went with me. I just like to be quiet in my head. You are right that they have seen it all. I think it's another sign of my intense denial and constant need to try to deny that my reality is my reality. :rolleyes:

Thank you again to you both.

 

[Abstract]

Thanks Gizmo,

You are very kind. I have to say the marks are just the cherry on top so to speak. I know I should go. I think it's been about four months now which isn't terribly bright of me. Delaying smear tests with my history is also not too clever. Thank you for the hugs and hugs back.

 

[HëllaBubz]

Delaying smear tests with my history is also not too clever.

Then I has rights to the 1st prize for unclever peoples.
Reminds me of the monty python sketch of Olympics for twits.....should check it out on youtube some time!

My SI isn't as bad as it used to be, sometimes facing my demons has actually taken away some of the SU with regards to cancer.

Some people have to fight tooth, nail and bludgeon their demons to death, other people just have to show their face.
You won't be given a demon that is too great for you to bear, all you have to do is try, just once, you never know, all you may have to do is show your face!

Why you no tell's hubby? Does he have any idea at all?
Maybe you should give him a chance to fight for you, instead of you doing all the fighting.
I don't want to make you feel guilty, if you don't, well you know what works, so I'll support you with that.

But try.....just once. I've got your back.

xox

 

[Abstract]

Then I has rights to the 1st prize for unclever peoples.

Bubzilla,
I can see that you are truly clever and just are understandably hurt. You know how these double standards go. :rolleyes:

I am a touch resistance to give more than a hint of how avoidant and hanging onto denial I am. And the ridiculous extents that I have still gone to to hide all this (PTSD and cause of it). The truth is that I think I am actually hiding from myself rather than other people.

Thank you giving me a good push in the right direction. I was looking for a terror face icon but there wasn't one.


I hope it did not feel too disrespectful of all you have been through to say what I did about cancer. Much caring to you.

 

[Abstract]

Sorry but arghhhhh.....

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Abstract you were just stating your opinion that is all. No harm, no foul. You have the right to your own opinion. Big hugs.