20 Little Friends In My Pocket

[The Albatross]

Well I'm restarting too... today though. Had a long conversation with a coworker about the fear and anger about part of the pool maintenance. I couldn't stop shaking though. So I restart today. On another forum, a regular poster successfully dealt with drug addiction, alcoholism, and his one pet addiction was smoking. There was a long letter a couple days ago... basically saying "if you're smoking, quit ... don't be like me". He ended up going to ER and he's now in critical condition. They found a spot in his lung.

I think it would be incredibly sad for me to get this far on the rest of my behaviors, and then continue to increase my risk factors with lung cancer... I got to do this and not worry about carrying and extra 10-20 pounds this time. Though I hit the 10 pound mark on my last quit (recently) and restarted.

I don't know for sure how to combat the thinking... but I'm really going to double down and give this quit my best shot.

 

[Rumors]

I got sick of feeling bad. Had bronchitis, no doubt from smoking, and put them down. Truth was, I felt better when I quit so I just tried to focus on the fact I felt so much better. I guess in a way, I made the cigs the enemy, the abuser, the villain and not my friend. At that point, it was easy. Really, I don't even miss them bc instead of associating them with a stress reliever, I associate them with being sick and feeling bad. As well, the final blow, years after I quit my mom died of lung cancer. If I ever thought about starting up again, not a chance after watching her die from that disease. It is all in perception! Good luck!

 

[The Albatross]

Good idea Rumors... reframing the addiction to the enemy/abuser/villan... and not a self soothing friend.

 

[Springer80]

I made the cigs the enemy, the abuser, the villain and not my friend. At that point, it was easy. Really, I don't even miss them bc instead of associating them with a stress reliever, I associate them with being sick and feeling bad.

Yep, I totally agree with this. The other reason I don't miss them is that when I tried to quit I realized that they were one a list of things that had been used to lead me from my own emotion/perception. Sugar, alcohol, shopping, booze and I remembered the fear I felt as I became aware that control was slipping away from me and I didn't have anywhere to go to. That is why I became addicted to stuff to avoid that fear. That is what I associate them with, I started in desperation and then adopted a 'screw you' attitude afterwards.

I think it would be incredibly sad for me to get this far on the rest of my behaviors, and then continue to increase my risk factors with lung cancer... I got to do this and not worry about carrying and extra 10-20 pounds this time.

Thats how I felt...after everything I'd fought through and off I wasn't gonna have the rest of life potentially made miserable by disease. I had the added push in that my Gran had her first stroke in her late thirties and I remember seeing such a formidably bright womans mind being limited.

The weight issue...well I'm 6ft 1, so my height hides a few extra pounds. I quit a year ago and I'm 85kg but i've been living on junk/convenience food since I've been off work with CFS. I quite like my extra badda bing badda boom :giggle: , the ptsd made me a bit skinny before. I'm thinking 50's Italian bombshell.

 

[The Albatross]

Plump doesn't bother me... but because of grossly obese parents and a body image thing (I was leaning anorexic in my 20 to mid 30's)... it a really hard sell. I'm okay till I hit 185 (5'6") and then relapse. That seems to have been my pattern about 6 times this year.

 

[Nighthawk]

Gaining weight scares me but from what I have heard it is a quick 8-10 pound gain even if you are watching your food. Then again I know people that have gained way more than that after quitting. I have managed to stay at half a pack a day. I will start lowering back down till 3-4 a day and then stop. Just frustrated that I was in the hospital for 5 days and could not wait to get out and have a smoke.

 

[Innordinate]

I think I'm going to try that. While I finish this pack I'm going to tell myself how much I hate it. It really is a form of self-abuse isn't it? Self-bloody-medicating abuse!

Hard to remember that when society focuses on drug addictions first, then alcohol and well... smoking is bad but ......

Nicotine is a drug. This IS the worst addiction I've had. I hate smoking.

 

[Innordinate]

Mmmm...nice hot coffee... last smoke. Restart today.

I AM A NON-SMOKER! I'm just going to keep telling myself this so that when I crave a smoke I can be like, 'why do I want a smoke? I don't smoke, go away brain'

 

[The Albatross]

I'm starting at noon. But am with you. I just have to face that this season with the allergies, I got no business smoking.

 

[Rumors]

Just remember it is the enemy! It is NOT your friend! Every time you want one just imagine hacking a lung up and all the sickness it causes until you associate smoking with bad stuff instead of good. It is just retraining your brain but you can do it!!

I also like to use a story from my younger years on a spring break trip where I drank an entire bottle of coconut rum. Yes, I was violently ill the next day. To this day, if I smell coconut, I want to barf! That was 20 plus years ago and I loved coconut before that episode! I liked rum too but still can't drink any! Bad mojo I am telling you.

Good luck today!

 

[The Albatross]

Okay... restart. The name of the game is to count backwards... for some stupid reason it's so easy to get the urge to put my brain on hold with..."Jeeze... one day.... that's stupid, have a cig". So I'm gonna count backwards from 180 ish. 6 months is a new behavior durn it. No cigs, started again I'll probably count on my diary and post progress here. The object of the game is nic free no cheats, cold turkey. Starting... NOW.

 

[Rumors]

You have got this!