Supporter Need A Ptsd Support Group Fast

[TMAC 57]

I am in a relationship with a wonderful woman, recently diagnosed with PTSD. The good news is that now we know what the problem is as we have been living in hell for the past year. I need help. On good days I can be no happier. She is the love of my life. On bad days I can do nothing right. Even now it seems like the more supportive I am, the more mean spirited the PTSD becomes. There's no question there is a correlation, one effects the other. She led me to this site.

I need a support group. I am seeing a counselor along with my partner but I simply cannot handle the pressure cooker in our home. I too often lash out in return when the attacks come... they just don't stop coming, wave after wave. We are seeing a counselor but it's not enough and it's breaking the bank. I need support and help but my counselor says that a lot of PTSD SUPPORT GROUPS do more harm then good. I need to find the RIGHT support group but he cannot find one he likes.

Can someone please refer me to a good group. I live in Lacey Washington, ZIP 98513.

THANKS!

 

[BigBear]

Hi TMac,

Sometimes the best support is laying back and letting her escape contact. Perhaps you are already doing that. I'd suggest reading some supporter journals. Find someone, whose situation relates to yours but who appears to be succeeding. Then ask questions.

We are generally an open crowd.

Oh, and Welcome!

Bear

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

I can't help with local support. But the online support here is brilliant. Check out the supporters section especially and ask questions as needed.

 

[gemstone]

I sometimes feel that way too. No matter what, it's just not enough. In a sad but effective way, I'd stepped back and analyze what triggers my husband's frustrations/outbursts. I've made mental notes and try my best to avoid those triggers. Some days it's effective, some days it's not, some days I've had enough and just lash out. It's gotten slightly better. But hard. Sometimes I feel like I'm married as a caretaker and struggle to enjoy my own life because I'm busy protecting someone else's. I live in NC, but I'll be more than happy to chat with you from afar!

 

[TMAC 57]

Thank you Bear, KP and Gemstone. I'm already tearing up. Bear, how do I find someone succeeding in my situation? Supporter journals? How do I find the supporters section? Is that where I should be? Am I in the wrong place? I'm so alone in all of this.

Thanks gemstone for saying that YOU TOO sometimes lash out. My partner insists I have an anger management problem. I believe I have a PTSD management problem. 90% of the time I do NOT lash out. Our therapist has suggested an escape from the surroundings here and friends have been letting her sleepover. It's helping.

We recently lost our beloved dog. On the way to our friends who often host her overnight, she was grieving, in denial, pleading with me to turn around and search our local neighborhoods to find our dog. I tried to explain that we would never find her because she is deceased and that soon she could grieve with friends as well. As we neared their house she suddenly transformed. She didn't just pull herself together, she did a TOTAL 180. She was fine. She was my girl. I'd never seen her do that before. When I asked what had just happened, she paused, pondered and calmly explained it as "the power of mind control". It still gives me chills when I think about it. When we got to our friends residence she acted as if she didn't have a care in the world when only moments before she was pleading for me to search for a deceased dog. When I picked her up two days later, my friends said she was fine. We talked on the way home about the "mind control" incident. She didn't recall a thing.

For two more days back home all was well. We truly have a friendship caught on fire on so many levels. Our intimate moments at night are epic. But it seems like when we get close, she starts to pull away, afraid, insecure and then she starts getting surly and nothing I can do is right. How can she "manage" the PTSD like that on the way to our friends house but have NO control over it at all in this house? Does anyone else experience this? It's not been the first time she doesn't remember stuff and our therapist says when we recount incidents it is simply HE SAID/SHE SAID. He doesn't know WHO to believe.

Help.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi and welcome to the forum. This is a really good support group. I am sorry but I cannot give you any groups. The supporters section is down the line of forums. It is a rich resource of help and support and encouragement for you.

Make sure you take care of you so you do not fall apart. Take care.

 

[Sing2me]

I can answer your last question relatively easy. She has a harder time controlling it at home because she isn't "forced to act". She is in her safety net that allows everything she has pushed aside to come to the surface. Around others I typically feel numb or have found it easier to not raise questions. It sounds like she dissacotiated.

 

[TMAC 57]

CHEROKEE!

Please stay in touch with me... EVERYONE please stay in touch with me...all the answers are helping but YOUR answer Cherokee was so KEY for me. I get it now. Is it GOOD for her to have this time away on occasion? How can I talk to more people like you? Am I in the right place on this web site? I really want to talk not only to those who are caregivers but to those who HAVE PTSD and know what my partner is going through. Say more please about her disassociating.

I cannot find the supporters section. Is that where I need to go? Will you be there? Bear suggested I find someone succeeding in my situation? How do I do that? Are there "Supporter journals"on this site?

My partner is the love of my life. On bad days I can do nothing right. Even now it seems like the more supportive I am, the more mean spirited the PTSD becomes. There's no question there is a correlation, one effects the other. Can you shed any light on that? I am embarrassed that I too often lose my patience and don't even recognize myself in my moments of angst and frustration. Nothing ever makes sense. Now I feel more empowered and am just getting started. I feel like I have SUPPORT and am not so alone... the being alone part was KILLING ME...

THANKS CHEROKEE and THANKS EVERYONE... Stay tuned... I still need your help...

T

 

[KP the nut]

If you check out
[DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/#supporters.37[/DLMURL]

Any other questions about the forum should be asked at the help desk.

 

[Mcll]

You seem to really love her and she is lucky to have your support. I wish you well.

 

[TMAC 57]

Sorry everyone who is responding... I just got a notice to go to the HELP section so will do that now. My apologies for not following the rules... I will get the hang of this...

 

[Pinkcake]

Hi TMAC! I think that the support you give your wife is awesome.

I can relate to the anger issues that come with PTSD. I KNOW I can be terrible sometimes and what is worse is I KNOW I'm doing it and I just don't know how to stop. Its a long, slow work in progress.

I am glad that she is in therapy now. That is key for me. I hope that you find supporters that can help keep you bolstered as well!