Into The Storm

[Thinkingman85]

timid_flower, yes I feel like I'm still being punished from my past mistakes.

Lady, me feeling rejection from people is something that can be hard for me to handle. If I get reinvolved, I'll have to deal with that drama again. I had the perfect opportunity in the past. I could have went out with who I thought was the girl of my dreams. I could have finished college. I could have kept friendships with many people. Instead, I backed out because I thought that I couldn't handle it all on my own. Both of my parents were gone and my brother was a drug addict. This time around, I'll have to believe that I'm strong enough. The awareness of the opportunities that I passed makes me feel like I shouldn't even do it again. However, I know that I can.

 

[Lady Vet]

I'm still being punished from my past mistakes.

Rejection from people can be hard for me to handle.

If I get reinvolved, I'll have to deal with that drama again.

I thought that I couldn't handle it all on my own.

I'll have to believe that I'm strong enough.

I shouldn't even do it again.

I know that I can.

Thinkingman...stripping everything else out of what you just shared, these are (some of) the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that are creating your reality for you and shaping your choices. :) What a glorious gift that you can articulate all of this invisible "reality" so clearly for yourself!

Oh my goodness, you are going to be just fine! I say, bring on the storm, and ride it out! :)

Good luck....and please keep us in the audience for your amazing adventure. :)

 

[Thinkingman85]

I'll try my best. This forum is good to be a part of along the journey :)

 

[Sailorgal]

Need to forgive yourself Thinkingman. Forgiveness brings soo much healing. :)

 

[Thinkingman85]

It's hard to forgive when I'm concerned that I'll make mistakes again (even though I am pretty sure that I won't).

 

[Sailorgal]

You will make mistakes. We all do/will/continue to. It's life.

Forgiveness is not saying you're perfect. It's freeing yourself from being tortured for something that you are condemning yourself for that you can't change. :)

 

[Lady Vet]

It's hard to forgive when I'm concerned that I'll make mistakes again (even though I am pretty sure that I won't).

But you WILL make mistakes...lol...we all make mistakes. It seems to me that the belief that you aren't supposed to make mistakes would set you up for great failure just because I believe this assumption to be impossible for any human to achieve. :) Just sayin'

 

[Thinkingman85]

I know that I'll make mistakes, I just hope that I don't make big mistakes. When I had my breakdown six years ago, I consider something similar to a Britney Spears or Owen Wilson moment. I don't ever want to have one of those again. Just thinking about the possibility of it happening again makes it hard to maintain motivation. However, I'm more than likely going to come out stronger.

 

[Sailorgal]

When you keep your head looking behind you, you'll never move at all! ;)

Sorry just being cheeky.

 

[Lady Vet]

Just thinking about the possibility of it happening again makes it hard to maintain motivation.

This is only ONE possible outcome. There are so many more that you're not even focusing on. And the cold hard truth is that you are choosing to focus on the outcomes that frighten or concern you, and not the ones that excite or energize you. And since that is a choice that you make, there are other choices that you could make.

and you are making other choices, because you're not saying that you're not going into the storm, only that the heading into the storm makes you feel weary. And there is certainly nothing wrong with naming what is real for us.

Good luck! I think this will all turn out so much better than you think. (Because you're not really the same person you were 6 years ago.)

 

[Thinkingman85]

Thanks Lady Vet. I'll focus on the good things in life. My heart is slowly beginning to beat.