Poll Female Or Male Therapist?

[Britt.f7]

Does the gender of your therapist matter to you? I have had both male and females that have been good therapists. However, I prefer female and I am female.

I was abused sexually by both a male and female, but I grew up around strong women. I think that is why I prefer female therapists.

 

[piratelady]

I have only had a male therapist and cannot fathom having a female therapist. For some reason the thought of talking to a female about my abuse is very off-putting for me. I always feel like they will judge me.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

I've been to both, and been helped by both. My current one I've had for around 10 years. I have chronic clinical depression, with a heavy genetic component. He is a specialist in childhood trauma, PTSD, and hypnosis, regular, and self-hypnosis. That's why he is go good for me.

I was 'released' for a few weeks in the fall, but losing my Dad has put me back in. I feel sure he will help me heal more quickly than anyone else could.

Also, I think it totally depends on the level of comfort and trust one feels after one or two visits.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I find women will sympathize with you to much and get to emotional. I had a female therapist once and she would do that, also she would drag her personal life into the session by comparing her past abuse to mine.

So I have a male therapist and probably always will. I find him down to earth and he deals with business in a way I think only a male can.

 

[piratelady]

Ayesha, the stuff you describe the female therapist doing seems to be unprofessional in my opinion. I wonder if that has more to do with her as a person and a therapist and less to do with her gender? I don't know of course, just wondering.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Probably. I am sure my bias is based alot of my experience of females in general. But I do find most women to be too emotional in their thinking. Which I would not like in my therapist.

 

[anni]

Funny, I voted that it doesn't matter, and it really doesn't for me for any male/female reasons. I HAVE a male therapist because the only 2 females I've encountered in 30 years were both just awful. Coincidence, yes, but enough to have set up the aversion in my head.

Hee- ONE, I loved, she was a nice person, very helpful but kept pushing this weird agenda about bisexuality. I was there about abuse... . She started wearing leather wristbands, cut her hair very short and left her husband. One day I was waiting in the waiting room with a chirpy young girl who was the new girlfriend.

The OTHER female pushed, pushed, pushed, PUSHED an agenda where I MUST have endured childhood abuse. It was irritating and a little scary. Where the hell was this going? Obviously I also got nowhere with healing- she just had ONE perspective, and was GOING to shove it down my throat, forever and ever, amen. I reported HER, since that was just plain creepy as cr*p.

Of course, male therapists can have their own male agendas. Some, like everywhere in life, just dislike women. Once went to marriage counseling with a male therapist. The guy took one look at us, proceeded to have the ex make LISTS of all the things 'wrong' with me. I had no lists, apparently, the ex was just FINE despite his bankrupting us and refusing to do things like WORK. Yep. I left, and the ex - no lie - kept GOING to him, saying he'd be happy to work on the marriage even if I quit. I guess he would- he was living at my parent's expense at the time, who knew. Heck, for all I know they're still at it, making weekly lists of everything which is wrong with me.

My point being- probably a person-by-person thing, both patient and therapist.

 

[Red Feather]

I could only work with a female therapist. I think I just project way too much with a male therapist. It happened in the hospital where there was a male therapist. I could barely speak.

I normally feel really uncomfortable around males, so I guess that is why.

 

[rightkindofme]

I have seen 21 therapists over 27 years. I think that one or two early ones were male but I have exclusively seen women for the past 20 years so I put female with female therapists.

I have had female therapists who were histrionic and I've had several who were cool customers. I've had two therapists start crossing lines for volunteering their stories--one died soon after from a heroin overdose and I frankly wish I had listened to her more. I saw her for 7 years before her OD. She was clearly in a bad place personally and she helped me so much I wish I had been able to help her. But when she started crossing professional boundaries I terminated the relationship. Then she died. I have a lot of guilt.

The therapist after her wanted to turn me into the perfect healed Wiccan mother and when that didn't work out she told me she wanted to call CPS on me. I fired her too.

I'm currently working with someone who was a pilot program employee during the establishment of the first PTSD treatment center in this country. I know the vague outlines of her professional career and that's all I want to know. I'm not sure how things are going. We do a lot of EMDR and that's really messing up my whole week. I need to talk to her next week.

I'm not sleeping and that's really bad. :-\

 

[Venusian]

I voted that it doesn't matter. The first therapist I spoke to was male but it was only on the phone, he was assigned by the insurance company. I would have liked to see him in person but he was halfway across the country and Canada is a BIG country. After 3 sessions he was the one that recommended to the insurance company that I see someone in person. The next 2 therapists have been female but they were assigned to me also. They were both really good.

The first female therapist I saw in person was not trained specifically for PTSD but she was understanding when the memories started to emerge and didn't flinch when I told her what I was remembering. She gave me a lot of tools to ground myself when the flashbacks were at their worst. If I hadn't changed jobs and insurance companies I think she would have recommended a different therapist as my needs were changing. The next therapist, the one I see now, is trained in trauma and PTSD and although at first she thought my case would be short term she has since changed her treatment when she knew more about what I was going through.

 

[Lionheart]

I am male and early in therapy I needed a female therapist because I did not trust men at all, but as I have healed, it no longer matters to me. *(as long as they are good therapists). I have had both male and female therapists and my only preference now, is for one with experience in healing trauma.

 

[Britt.f7]

This has given me some thoughts to ponder. I find everyone's stories very interesting. When I look back on my past, the ratio of the number of men I saw compared to the number of men that were "normal" is even. When I look back at the females the number is odd. I have had more female one's that I have questioned. Like the one who wore a big fake flower over her ear and pressed me about child sexual abuse. And, even my last one, who often talked about her life. Perhaps she was relating. I don't know but it didn't always feel comfortable.

Though I prefer females, I'm beginning to think that perhaps it doesn't matter. I just want someone who is good. I might start opening back up to the idea of a male therapist if this next female doesn't work out.

Thank you all for replying. This has turned out very beneficial.