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Supporter Hi, I Am A Recovering Agoraphobe.

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gwendolyn

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Sorry this is a long introduction. I just want to pass on a little advice

Having an anxiety disorder can be crippling. The following is a guide to help sufferers claim back the lives they once had. I really found that this helped me.

To get started you must realise how affected you are. This is where you really have to be honest with yourself. Face and accept the situation you are in, and then move on.

Rate yourself as one of the following:
  1. severely affected - this is when panic attacks and social phobias prevent you from leaving the comfort of your own home. You may even experience panic or symptoms similar to vertigo while you are trying to sleep at night. It affects every aspect of your life.
  2. moderately affected - This is when you fight the panic urges and try to get on with your life as well as you can manage. You may avoid most social situations, supermarkets, driving, bridges etc. Your home is still a haven and may experience several anxiety attacks a day. It leaves you tired and at times exhibiting signs of depression, but there is hope.
  3. moderately unaffected - This stage is like the light at the end of the tunnel. You are rarely affected by anxiety but you know to avoid certain situations that can bring one on. However, you start feeling brave and may begin to tackle uncomfortable locations one by one, relishing at each one you overcome.
  4. not affected - This is where every anxiety sufferer wants to be. It may take time to get there and it is certainly achievable, but if the sufferer is at stage a. or b. they need help (even if it from family and friends) to get there.

Once you rate your condition, your goal is to get to the next stage. It is virtually impossible to go from stage a. to d. without achieving b. and c.
Remember, anxiety attacks are very common these days. Talk to friends and family. Accept it as being part of you for the moment, that means not being embarrassed by it. When I started opening up about my anxiety attacks, people appreciated my candour. I now know that there are plenty of people around that suffer anxiety in some shape or form. I have had people asking my advice for a long time. I am proud to be moderately unaffected.

If you are at the dreaded stage a. (I have), there is plenty you can do to move on.

1. Open up to family and friends. Some might not quite react the way you hope, but there is always at least one who will. Chances are that they already know someone who suffers anxiety to some extent. If you have completely isolated yourself from the world, find an online forum. Find out if there are support groups in your area. Be productive.

2. If you decide to venture out, try calling a friend. The company will help dramatically. Take on step at a time. Do not think that you can overcome this in a day. It takes time.

3. See a professional. I found that psychotherapy didn’t work for me but it might for you. A cognitive, behavioural therapist or Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) really can make a difference. You may have to consider medication to take the edge off while you are trying to get to the stage. I did. I have to say that I really didn’t need to take them for very long.

4. Stay positive and remember you are getting anxious for a reason. Face your fears.

If you have not reached stage a., make sure you do everything in your power not to get there. Follow the points of advice for stage a. but your main focus is to open up and make sure you have a good support system in place. Your biggest aim is to regain control. Explore options like yoga and T’ai chi to take you to a calm place. Be active. Stay focused. Do what you have to, to get to stage c.

Stage c. is a happy place. I could quite happily live the rest of my life in stage c. My anxiety affects my driving but I can live with that. I may or may not get an attack in the cinema, large shopping centres or airports but if I do, I have learned to deal with them. I have a loving family who (after taking a little time to get used to my condition) are very supportive. I will reach stage d. in time, but I am in no rush. I am too busy raising a family of my own, working and socialising. You can get there too.
 
Hi Gwendolyn,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

Is your agoraphobia a result of your PTSD? It is a fairly common symptom and I was just wondering as PTSD was not mentioned in your introduction.

Take care.
 
Yes it is. When I was 19 I worked in homeless shelters. It was an extremely hostile environment and I was too young to realise how much damage it inflicted. When I finished, I went to college where my best friend tried to kill herself in front of me. I left college, worked 3 jobs so that I didn't have time to reflect and very quickly burnt out. Moved to the countryside to take some time for myself. It was there it hit me. I quickly became a full blown agoraphobe and have been spending a hell of a long time trying to get out of a very dark place. I am still living a country life and now I am married with a little boy in tow. Couldn't be happier.
 
Hi Gwendolyn,

I couldn't agree with you more that living in the country is wonderful. I find that my happiest and most peaceful times are spent outdoors in nature.

I hope you find the information and support here helpful as you work on healing.

Deb
 
Really liked your post. The stages you describe make perfect sense to me. Spent the last several years at 'b' and am gradually getting towards 'c' by sheer courage and perseverance. I have to keep trying as my reclusiveness (??) has had a subtle but definite effect on my kids and is so hard on my husband who once said he feels like he has to "cocoon" me and I know he gets lonely and bored. Makes me feel very guilty. I encourage him to go out with his mates which I am fine with (lets me be alone!) but he misses the old social me...even though that was only ever fake!
 
Hi and welcome to the forum. Congratulations on overcoming so much and sharing what helped you.
 
I encourage him to go out with his mates which I am fine with (lets me be alone!) but he misses the old social me...even though that was only ever fake!

It is hard to know what is "fake" and what is "real" after spending time living with an anxiety disorder. It comes across that you were not yourself when you first met your husband and that you are not yourself now that you have absorbed yourself into the shelter of your home. I think it is time you start making little changes. Go for a drink with him, date night! Somewhere small and quiet. Hold hands, the closeness will help you venture out. I have a husband who knows that I have "issues" but we rarely talk about it. I prefer it that way.

Years ago, I dated a guy who was obsessed by how I was feeling every minute. I was between stage a. and b. His compassionate and well meaningful thoughts impeded my recovery so much that I was at risk of having a panic attack every time I saw him. The relationship didn't last long.

It is time to follow through. It is so easy to stay where you are. Only you can start the progress to recovery, one small step at a time. Also, make a list of your "triggers". Start with the easier ones but don't put yourself under too much pressure.
Go n'eiri an bothair leat- My the road rise to meet you(it means good luck)
 
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