What Do You Really Think Of Others (with Ptsd) Who Have Less Trauma Than You?

[XXXXXoXXXXXX]

It would be helpful if people could be honest here. Do you perhaps wonder how they can possibly be traumatised, do you think, "if only", do you feel angry/annoyed, or do you truly not compare trauma?

What thoughts go through your head?

PS. Maybe to avoid the thread getting off topic it's best to mention I am talking about "legitimate" trauma here.

 

[Juzib]

Some one may have suffered a lessor trauma than you, but to them it is still trauma enough to cause PTSD.

PTSD is PTSD with all its live debilitating issues.

So to be honest I think we should not judge. Just support each other as best we can.

 

[Anocu]

If anything, I see what others are going through and think to myself: 'For god sakes get a grip, so and so has been through ALL THAT and is coping better than you.'

But my friends say the same about me.

As for 'lesser' traumas? No such thing. My view is I feel really sad for a person who suffered an event that may not cause PTSD in the majority of people, but has them. I feel as if they must not have had much support immediately after.

 

[Huzimi]

Who is to say it was less trauma? One of the things people do when they begin talking is to minimize what they went through? I know I did, even to myself. There is usually a lot of information that is left out or minor stuff that is talked about because the bigger stuff is still to hard to bring up.

 

[Ije]

I'll admit that sometimes I envy the folks with just one traumatic experience, in my head they'll be able to deal with that one thing and feel better. It's a 'grass is greener' illusion and I know it. On the other side I read some posts and don't know how people managed to come out alive. Sometimes a thorn hurts more than a dagger, but the cause isn't as much of a factor now. We're dealing with the effects.

What I've seen is enough that no one has ever doubted the damages done. The only people to try telling me any of those minimizing things were abusing me. When I see a thread about someone being told some dismissive nonsense about their condition, I get angry. Then I think about what kind of person it must take to say something like that- either they don't know what pain feels like, or they don't understand that hurting is not the only option in life.

 

[Ibewu]

I don't think we can judge each other. What may be nothing to one person can be everything to another person. There are people who have openly said to me that my trauma is nothing and couldn't possibly cause PTSD - that is reserved for war veterans and people who have survived major accidents in their eyes.I should simply just 'move on'

I have had enough people be judgmental about me to start judging them.

 

[XXXXXoXXXXXX]

Wow. I am stunned. Thank you all. Every one of you. That I expected such a different response says exactly how much I project my own self abuse onto others. Or should I say I know I am possibly off tilt but have still thought its possible that others think this way.

If anything, I see what others are going through and think to myself:

I have seen this very often Anocu and I am sorry you do that too. It astounds me to see what people are able to minimise.

I envy the folks with just one traumatic experience, in my head they'll be able to deal with that one thing and feel better.

I think that is a legitimate thought really. Yes, other things can contribute a lot to how one gets better and means that someone with multiple traumas who has the right support, treatment and happens to have been given certain coping tools early in life may well find the path is clearer for them rather than someone with one trauma and no support, treatment or coping but regardless there they are two different things. And I hear that there is still respect and support. And I do suspect that trauma whilst peoples personalities are developing are a bit different in that it affects development.

I read some posts and don't know how people managed to come out alive.

I think this often. I am constantly amazed by the strength and resilience of human beings when I hear these stories.

no one has ever doubted the damages done. The only people to try telling me any of those minimizing things were abusing me

And I hear you on this and this is the important part and is relevant to the two previous points. And maybe it is those that are abusive or ignorant that say these things to us. And in my case, and it seems many others, it is me that says it to me.

here are people who have openly said to me that my trauma is nothing and couldn't possibly cause PTSD - that is reserved for war veterans

I am so sorry. I hope you gain from this thread too.

information that is left out

I think that is also a good point. And it seems sometimes we are not able to see our own clearly.

 

[Erew]

I don't compare trauma... it is only the reason to the problem of PTSD, it's severity does not define anything in my eyes. The reality is that some people suffer PTSD more than others, but PTSD is PTSD, regardless how you look at it or the trauma causing it.

 

[Ikozo]

I have felt, after reading some posts of others' experiences, that maybe I haven't had any traumatic experiences. Afterall, the amount of trauma I've suffered is significantly "less" than those who post here, and it doesn't affect my every day life, either. Good to know people here aren't judgmental though :)

 

[Opat]

I have felt, after reading some posts of others' experiences, that maybe I haven't had any traumatic experiences.

They were traumatic enough for you, that is all that matters.

 

[Divos]

I feel as if they must not have had much support immediately after.

I agree with that statement. I think that is what makes the difference for a lot of us. With the right type of after support that major event doesn't have to be a trauma.

Sometimes a thorn hurts more than a dagger,

That is the truth.

I try never to judge another person's problems with an eye to my own. It doesn't help them, it only hurts the world. I'm a religious person, and believe in the golden rule. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Matthew 7:12 in the King James version of the Holy Bible. However, if I can use what I've learned through what I've gone through to help another, then I look back.

 

[Utej]

I used to feel that way about someone. I had complex trauma starting at about age 3. It was really amazing how I lived. This other person was molested once at age 7, but couldn't work at all. At the time I was working full time. I couldn't understand how it could affect her like it was affecting me. I finally understand. I wasn't being judgemental in a bad way, I just didn't understand.